Familiar Faces, Different Locations
by Musicfreak810
Summary: This story follows Santana, she dropped out of Kentucky state and moved to New York where she enrolled at CUNY for a music degree. A lot can happen in six years and she's been estranged from everyone in Lima since she left Kentucky. That is, until she's reunited with her class mates for a wedding. Quinntana, OOC, and rated M for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

For four years I lived in the shadow that was Quinn Fabray. 50 sit-ups, 50 push-ups, three years of gymnastics and I was still the bottom of the pyramid while Miss Quinnie wore her hair up in that damn prestigious high pony-tail. I slept my way through everyone in high school, boys and girls, and still she was considered the hottest piece of ass at McKinley High. I guess that last bit was a bit counter-intuitive, but whatever, I worked my ass off and still couldn't keep up with her reputation. Even when she allowed herself to get knocked up, humiliated by her inner fat girl and hit by a truck.

So how is it that 6 years after high school, she walks into my life and it's as if all that stupid adolescent angst and competitiveness has somehow managed to vanish?

"Dude! Hurry up in there! I ate a mucho caliente grandeburrito the size of a bowling pin and it's already made its way down the southern tracks!" Puck, my extremely annoying but good-hearted room-mate yelled from the other side of the door.

I twisted my hair up into my bath towel and opened the door just as he was about to bang his fists for the third time.

"You know, there isn't anything I haven't seen before underneath that bathrobe," Puck winked and tried his best seductive grin.

"Beyond ew, Puckerman! That was so long ago, I get that I'm the hottest piece of ass you've ever had, but c'mon." I punched his arm just as he grabbed his stomach.

"Uh-oh, time to drop the kids off at the pool!" he exclaims running past me and slamming the door shut.

It's been about four years since high school and two years since college. I dropped out of Kentucky State and transferred to CUNY and am one semester away from getting my BFA in Sonic Arts, which is really just uppity NY speak for a Bachelor's in Music and Audio Technology. Turns out though, New York appreciates my blunt honesty and snark, so making a home and life here for myself wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be. I managed to get a job at Le Poisson Rouge, a college bar that showcases a lot of underground college art.

I finished getting ready for my one class of the day, grabbed my laptop bag, iPod and made my way out the door and towards the subway. Puck's pool cleaning business fell through in California due to some legal troubles involving a suspecting 45 year old husband and his 23 year old wife. Somehow he found his way to New York doing odd jobs here and there, playing music for any bar, hospital or street corner that would take him.

I let him crash in my one bedroom apartment as long as he pays electric, keeps the place clean and skank-free. Well, skank-free while I'm there and fully disinfected by the time I get home.

I grabbed a seat on the subway and opened up my laptop to a mix I had been working on for an engagement party the club was rented out for. I guess all those lame mash-up weeks assigned us in Glee club did end up having a lasting impression. Originally I had just taken a couple of engineering and mixing classes for electives, but I found that I had a real ear for musical structures and similar melodies and patterns. While it isn't exactly the reality TV, Hollywood career route that I always dreamt for myself, one would be surprised by how much attention this hot Latina lesbian DJ garners. I guess I would have Carmen from The L Word to thank for that.

Six songs had finished playing which usually meant that my stop was coming up. I packed up my laptop and stood up as the subway came to a stop.

All that's standing between me and my degree is an 80 minute audio track that utilizes (not depends on) audio technology. My answer to that assignment? A mixtape of hip-hop and R&B samples plus original compositions of mine and Puck's. The mix tape is also a sort of concept album on the rollercoaster that is falling in love.

I'm sure it's a bit odd hearing Santana Lopez speak so openly and calmly about love, but a lot has changed since I graduated high school. Many a thing has happened that's helped me to discover that I'm more than just a sexy snarky ice cold bitch. I can't hide behind that façade that my grandmother passed down to me forever.

No longer am I a fame hungry eighteen year old with the world's biggest chip on my shoulder. Now, I'm a determined, ambitious 24-year-old with the world's second biggest chip on my shoulder. I'm an aspiring triple threat : DJ, singer/songwriter, and producer. At the moment, I'm the in-house DJ at Le Poisson Rouge, which gives me a lot of opportunities to collaborate with all sorts of musicians and talent that comes through.

Since I'm in my last semester, my classes are all pretty much labs. I walked into the studio lab, plugged my hard drive into the computer, placed my headphones over my ears and zoned into the sound board for two and a half hours, tweaking the treble, bass and levels to my perfection. My professor has learned to just keep away from the studio I occupy until I emerge with a question or need an extra pair of ears to double check the levels.

After my session I walked down to Celeste's diner and ordered my usual sandwich and unsweetened tea, and hopped on the subway to work. By this time it was already 6:30 when I arrived at the club, and I decided to take a second listen to the mix to make sure it was perfect for the happy couple. Kori, my boss, said her niece was about my age, as is her fiancé and that they wanted something with a good mixture of classics, romance, and dancing. Hopefully what I created is what they were hoping for.

I took off my headphones as I walked into the club and set my laptop bag down behind the DJ stand.

"How's it going Santana?" Kori greets me with a smile as she walks around the stacks of beer and liquor the vendor has unloaded.

"Good, this place is almost done already, huh?" The decorations and lights have all mostly been already set up, the party doesn't start until about 8:30 so that gave us an extra hour or so to finish up the last touches.

"Just about, if I could just get you to set up the projector, the banner and whatever you need for the music then we're all set,"

"Leave it to me, I gotcha back girl," I said with a smile as I grabbed my laptop out of my bag and headed for the stage. "Where's the slideshow or whatever it is they want projected?!"

"Top left drawer in my desk!" Kori shouts back from the bar.

I hopped off the stage and went to her office. When I opened up the top left drawer, I instantly hesitated when I saw the names printed on the DVD.

No flipping way could it be…

"Kori!? What's your niece's name!?" I shouted with skepticism.

"Oh! Tina Cohen-Chang! It's a little weird that she's marrying a guy with the same last name, huh?" she said as she walked into her office for a pen. "Why what's up?"

"I went to high school with these two! We were all in glee club together!"

Kori tries her hardest to keep from laughing. "You, in glee club?"

"Oh shut up, it was high school and about the most fine-art McKinley could afford,"

"Mhmm, I'm sure. Well, it's a small world after all," she sings to me.

"Quit it! We were National Champions!"

"Oh and that's just the cherry on top! I bet you had all the solos!"  
I slapped her on her shoulder. "Go back to checking in the vendor before the happy couple gets no adorable slideshow,"

How could I have not known they were having their engagement party here? How could I not know they were engaged? Well, it wasn't like I had kept in great touch with Tina and Mike. I hadn't really kept in touch with anyone from McKinley. After Brittany and I broke up and she got together with Trouty Mouth, we just sort of drifted apart. She wound up at the same school as Mike and the two of them took over that fancy dance conservatory. I dropped out of Kentucky State, packed everything up and took a one way flight to New York, never really looking back. Sure, there was man-hands and Porcelain that I talked to when I first got there. But Rachel soon started to get noticed by all sorts of Broadway casting agentsand directors, while Kurt wound up living a real life Devil Wears Prada. The only person who I kept around was Puck really. Even then, I moved around a lot in New York so it was hard to keep track of who to send all my change of address's to.

"Can I see the guest list?" I asked as I walked back towards the stage.

Kori pulled it out of her back pocket and handed it to me.

Sam Evans, Brittany Pierce, Finn Hudson, Mercedes Jones, Mr. and Mrs. Schu, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Rachel Berry, Quinn Fabray, Artie, Sugar, everyone from glee club was on the list. Including their close family and friends from college and post high school. My name was on there with a question mark.

"How come they have my name on here if they never sent me an invite?"

"Maybe because we'd hoped someone knew where you were," said a familiar voice.

I turned around and saw Tina and Mike in the doorway.

"Oh my gosh, you guys are ridiculous!" I exclaimed as they walked up to me and pulled me into a huge hug. "Okay, can't breathe,"

"Sorry, sorry! It's been so long since we've soon you! I can't believe you're here!" Tina said as she grew even more excited by the minute.

"Okay, calm yourself before you have a heart attack."

"Why are you here so early? The party doesn't start for another hour or so," Mike said checking his watch.

"I work here! I'm the in-house DJ!"

"No flipping way! I didn't even know you could spin!" Mike said with a very surprised look on his face.

Kori grabbed two beers and a wine as we took seats at the bar and started to catch up. The two had always known they wanted to get married since Tina graduated high school, but wouldn't make it official until both had finished their degrees. I told them all about how I wound up in New York.

"So do you have a plus one for tonight, or are you strictly working? Because you're also a guest, so it's not allowed for you to only work,"

"I promise to try and peel myself away from the board," I said sipping on my Blue moon. "All right, well I gotta finish setting up your guys' precious vomit inducing slideshow,"

"Now that sounds like the Santana we're all used to," Mike chuckled as he finished off his beer.

"A lot has changed in eight years guys," I said with a smile as I grabbed my beer and hopped back up on stage.

More than I could cover in a 15 minute chit chat.

20 minutes until everyone started showing up, and I was in the bathroom putting the final touches on my make-up and quickly fitting into a tight red dress I found at one of the local shops by my apartment.

"Knock knock, and ow-ow Lopez, you're looking sexy as ever," Puck said from the doorway. He finally grew out of his Mohawk phase and decided to stick with the shaved buzz cut look.

"Pfft, and you're surprised, please Puckerman, I was JT's inspiration when he brought sexy back,"

"Dude, that joke is like 10 years old," Puck commented.

"Whatever, I'm hot, we know it, ready to party?" I asked as he held his arm out for us to walk in together.

Puck and I have become wingmen of sorts. When he needs saving from a lady he just can't shake off I come to the rescue and vice-a-versa.

When we entered the club it looked like a ten year reunion three years early. Instantly I spotted Brittany with a guy she must have met up at school, Sugar and Artie were seated at a table catching up. I nodded at Puck as I made my way to the booth. He walked over to Finn, giving him a high five and pulling him into their tradition bro hug. No one had yet noticed that it was I behind the booth, until I rewound the record.

"Good evening ladies and gents, first and foremost, congratulations and best wishes to the very happy couple," everyone cheered and clapped. "I've prepared a little mix for theevening, I hope you all enjoy the soundtrack,"

I placed the marker at the starting point of the mix, pressed play and allowed the mood for the room to be set. Mingling and chatter erupted as people made their way to the bar to grab their first drinks of the evening. Kori was handing me my whiskey sour when I heard a familiar voice.

"Girl do not tell me that is Santana Lopez spinning records in that booth!" Mercedes gave a warm smile and I stepped down to give her a hug.

"Indeed it is, how are you girl?" I asked as I sipped on my drink.

"Fabulous! Working on my first album with a little indie label in SoCal, but I'm more anxious to know how you ended up spinning records instead of being on them!"

I smiled coyly and nodded as I took another sip from my drink before I answered. "Oh you know, had to play catch up with school when I left Kentucky, and it just turned out that I had a natural ear for production and the behind the scenes aspects of music."

"You're not getting off that easy, here's my card with my cell and email on it. I'm going to be in town for another three or four days, hit me up for lunch. I want to hear more about what you've been up to,"

"That'd be great," I added as I saw Brittany making her way over to us.

"San! It's been like what? 3 or four years?" She said pulling me into a tight hug.

"It's been too long," I said. It really has. I had forgotten what it was like to have people around who actually knew me.

"I think we always knew you'd end up here, just in this capacity? I think everyone's heads are still spinning,"

"Oh you know how life is, just insane, " I said trying to get the attention off me before Tina thought I was stealing her thunder.

The guys all started to pull and drag tables together so that we could all sit as one big group. Once you got all the Glee kids together it was hard to keep us apart. Just as Puck and I set the last table together, in walked Quinn Fabray in a beautiful green dress and her hair cropped to her chin. She looked as gorgeous as ever.

"Looks like you finally made it!" Tina squealed as she just about ran over to her and tackled her.

"My train was a little delayed, but I made it!" she said with a bright smile.

Everyone took turns greeting her and adding another chair to the giant table. As I straightened up and smoothed out my dress, I met her hazel eyes and smiled.

"No one thought you would make it," she said as she pulled me into what must have been my 20th hug of the night.

"It seems my presence has become one of the biggest surprises of the entire evening," I added as I pulled out of the hug.

"No one had any idea how to find you! How did you even-"

I filled her in one the details that everyone seemed to be so interested in. I hadn't realized I was the only one who hadn't really kept in touch. Brittany was a frequently sought after dancer for music videos, concert tours and ballet/dance productions, Mike became a choreographer and opened up a dance studio in Connecticut. Tina just finished up her degree in Advertising and will be starting her first job at PendertonAgencies. Finn was still running the tire shop with Kurt's father, learning all the ins and outs of the trade and becoming groomed to take over and franchise the business. Kurt had become assistant to the editor in chief of an up and coming fashion web magazine.

"The print industry is just going south with no upturns in sight. Web magazines and online publishing is the way to go at this point. " he added

Blaine is still working on his bachelor's in teaching, he has a position at Dalton waiting for him once he's completed all his requirements. Sugar is living off her trust fund and enjoying life. Her dad's business only boomed since high school with assertion that she would probably never have to work a day in her life. Artie is interning at Lionsgate in California, he's working on a script that he hopes to get picked up soon. Rachel is on her way to the top of Broadway. She's received numerous roles in Broadway productions and has her first top billed production scheduled for the Spring season. Mr. Schuester and Emma are still in Lima, he's still teaching at McKinley and New Directions have become four time National Champions.

As the party wore on, I realized the first mix of the evening was coming to an end, and I decided to take a break from all the hoopla and try to show off my records a little bit.

"Okay let's see all the beautiful people on the floor," I said with a headphone over one ear as I started playing Q-Tip'sVivrant Thing.

Everyone got on the floor and started to move with the beat. Mercedes and Kurt partnered up with Rachel, Tina and Mike were moving, he was helping her with some moves. Soon everyone started to just dance as a group, until Mike and Brittany were pushed to the middle.

"Just like old times?" Mike questioned at Brittany and the two started to battle.

It felt as if no time had passed whatsoever as the two took turns showing the skills they've developed since high school. Immediately I decided to try and work the crowd a bit more by flexing my mixing skills. Watching the two of them felt like something out of those ridiculous Step Up movies as their moves became more intricate as I blended song with song with song. It got to a point where everyone decided to show off any move they had, Sugar jumped in and did some ridiculous show choir move from high school, and then Puck fed off it doing a signature move from our sophomore year when we performed with April Rhodes. I just laughed as I watched everyone grow more and more crazy and funny.

"Ahem!" I heard from below me and saw Quinn standing below the booth.

"Do you have a request Miss?" I asked with a smile as Icrossfaded Usher's OMG with Katy Perry's California Girls.

"Only for you to get out from behind that booth and dance with the rest of us," she said with a coy smile.

I laughed and placed in order a mix to keep the party going as I stepped from out of the booth. Quinn grabbed my hand and led me to the floor. I didn't think much of it until she spun me around and we started dancing together. Somehow she and I wound up in the middle of the group and she winked at me.

"Follow me lead, just like in Cheerios?" she said as she began one of our signature numbers that I couldn't forget if I wanted.

I laughed and followed her lead, Brittany caught on to the routine and jumped in as well. We continued, all of us moving in perfect sync as if we hadn't been separated at all.

The music, the moves, the people, it all came rushing back to me in forceful waves. A beautiful familiar sense of togetherness that I hadn't felt in so long. It made me wonder how I could have allowed myself to lose touch with everyone.

Just before everyone jumped in to join us, Kori snapped a picture of the three of us together. The Unholy Trinity reunited. Brittany grabbed both of us by the shoulders and pulled us close into a group hug.

"I can't believe we all remembered it!" Quinn exclaimed with a huge beaming smile stretching from each end of her face.

"Please, Coach Sylvester would probably come over the megaphone and call us sloppy babies to this day!" I remarked laughing.

"Careful, she could be lurking in any corner," Brittany said as she did a double take behind her shoulder.

Quinn playfully slapped her shoulder as we took a seat at one of the tables, Brittany went back to the dance floor.

"Santana Lopez, what have you been up to, aside from moonlighting as a DJ here?" she asked as she sipped on her vodka martini.

"Not moonlighting, this is my actual gig," I pointed out as one of the servers brought me a glass of champagne.

"What? You're not seriously telling me that you've taken a job behind a booth instead of in front of it, right?" she said incredulously.

"That's my story. I love the spotlight, don't get me wrong. But this is where I'm able to get the better change. Everyone in New York is trying to be a star in the spotlight. This allows me to pay the bills, get some exposure and still be able to work on my own music. I really like mixing and producing actually,"

"If someone would have told me this before hand, I think I'd have laughed in their face," she said with a smile as she sipped her martini.

I couldn't believe how much she hadn't changed. If anything, Quinn certainly had grown even more into her figure and her looks. I'd say she had somewhat aged gracefully if it appeared she had aged at all.

"Do you remember Schuester's wedding?" she asked as I almost choked on my champagne.

"Ahem, umm. Which part?" I laughed off as I grabbed my cocktail napkin to wipe the side of my mouth.

"Me being an awkward teenager and never wanting to talk about that night?" she said.

I wasn't sure why she had brought this on so quickly. Usually it took Quinn a lot of warming up to get her to be open about anything, this was a new side that I wasn't sure how to handle. The night before Schuester's wedding Quinn and I both had quite a bit to drink. I was still reeling over Brittany and Sam being together at the time, and doing my best to let her go and be happy. Quinn was moving on from her break up with her professor. For once we had laid our weapons down and found comfort in each other, but instead of trying to figure out if it meant anything, Quinn never wanted to speak of it again.

"What about it?" I asked apprehensively. "Is this really the place you want to bring it up?"

"After that night, I couldn't really find you. Your number had changed, you had already left Kentucky State, I just really want to say I'm sorry."

My eyes narrowed on her suddenly, and it felt like Snixwas ready to emerge and pounce, but I've learned better than that.

"That was years ago. It's not like we each held a torch for each other all this time. But I appreciate you trying to make things right." I said as I took another sip of my champagne.

She nodded and sipped her martini. "So where's your hot girlfriend? I know you must have one,"

"I don't actually," I responded looking out to the crowd.

"That's it? Just that you don't? Not even a special lady friend to get your sweet lady kisses on with?"

"A lot has changed since those days, I've been through a lot," I added with a vague smile. It's true, I grew up and learned that life is much too short for that kind of behavior.

"Okay, I feel like I'm talking to a clone of Santana and not the real Santana, what happened?"

I sighed, this whole thing was getting a bit old and stale.

"Wanna dance?" I said abruptly, trying my best to deflect.

"I'll dance if you agree to a coffee meet,"

"What is everyone's deal, am I really all that interesting?" I laughed as I sipped my champagne again.

"Like you said, a lot has changed and life is too short. So let's have coffee, catch up and keep in touch. I could use some familiarity in my life, and I think you've been cut off for far too long,"

"And who are you to make that call?"

"If you really don't then don't. But not everything has changed. And I could see on your face that you've missed everyone just as much as we've missed you. You may have been a bitch Santana Lopez, but you're our token bitch and our good friends are getting married."

I sighed again, but this time out of consent. I took her hand and led her to the dance floor with everyone else.

A lot has happened since we graduated high school. I've grown up, and let go of a lot of the baggage I clung to as a teenager. Experiences and people that have come and gone from my life have taught me many a lesson. Quinn was right though, life is too short to stay disconnected from the people who had my back during those days, familiarity couldn't kill me.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Hi guys! First and foremost, thank you to the 30 follows,8 favorites and 7 reviews. It's greatly appreciated and major ego boosting haha. I haven't written a fanfiction in about five or six years, so your guys' feedback really means a lot. I have somewhat of an idea as to where I want to take this story, but if any of you guys ever want to PM me or anything with ideas and stuff I'm open for discussion. Please bear with me on updates and stuff, I just moved so I am without internet and laptop is all corrupted and can't connect to internet even if I had it, so all posts I'm making through my iPhone after transferring the documents from my laptop. I have a tumblr where I'll also be posting music that goes with this fanfic and the chapters themselves, but I think I'll be updating this site first with the chapters. I'm sorry if the build-up my seem rather slow, but it'll be worth it I promise. Thanks again for reading, keep the reviews coming, and please enjoy chapter 2 :]**

**Music credit for this chapter: DJ Neil Armstrong – Best I Ever Had Remix.**

The next day I woke up to my iHome playing one of my favoriteinternet DJ mixes. It was a mash-up of Apologize byOneRepublic and Taylor Swift. Corny? Yes. Eargasm worthy, completely. It was 10am and I slowly opened my eyes and could smell bacon and eggs wafting from underneath my door. Another thing I could count on? Puck making breakfast every Saturday morning. Turns out, his mom worked the graveyard shift quite often, so on the weekends he was in charge of making sure his little sister was well fed.

"Morning sunshine, have a good night?" Puck said as he dumped the last of the scrambled eggs on the plate and completed it with four slices of bacon and a piece of toast.

"How are you up so early? You drank more than I did," I said still wiping my eyes as I grabbed a glass from the dishwasher and filled it with orange juice.

"Ahh yes. But I stuck to beer and pure shots. While you on the other hand, had cocktails, champagne, and shots. Plus you started drinking as soon as you got to the club."

I sat down in my seat as I grabbed two paper plates from the cabinet and some forks for us. "Touche'"

He rinsed out the pan and placed the spatula in the sink, eying me as I slowly placed a fork full of eggs into my mouth. "So I saw you and Quinn getting rather close in the pelvic sense,"

I started coughing on my eggs immediately. "Too much pepper," I added quickly.

"Bullshit. You love pepper and have never complained before. Spill, did you get some, or did you get some?" He wiggled his eyebrow and winked at me as I through a piece of toast at him. "Hey! I worked hard on breakfast!"

"Please, all you did was stick some bread in a box,"

"Oooh, I love dirty talk in the morning,"

"Oh my gosh you have no off switch at all!" I said taking a sip of my orange juice.

"Can't turn off the Puck-o-saurus, it's all charm 24/7," he smiled as he finished off a slice of bacon. "C'mon, you can tell me details, you wouldn't be telling me anything I haven't heard before,"

"Nothing happened. We danced, chatted." He shot me a suspicious look. "We're having coffee at 11:30

"I knew it!"

"It means nothing! We're just friends!

I got up to grab the Sri Racha from the refrigerator when Puck's expression grew incredulous.

"A-Ha! I knew it! You guys are gonna be boning buddies!"

I closed the refrigerator and sighed as I took my respective seat. "No. We're just friends. She's in town to meet up with some clients or whatever, we're just catching up."

"You're such a kill-joy Lopez. C'mon, do you realize how long it's been since-"

"Noah. Don't even go there."

I knew where he was headed. And he knew I meant business as soon as I used his first name. Yes, it had been quite some time since I've been involved with someone, but bringing up the past wasn't going to making any of that any easier.

"She wouldn't want you to be so isolated and you know it."

I grit my teeth and took a huge bite out of my toast. "And suddenly I've lost my appetite."

"Santana, c'mon."

"I gotta jump in the shower and get ready. I'm meeting Quinn at 11:30." I immediately took a last swig of my orange juice and left the table for the shower.

"Can I use the bathroom before you start getting ready?!" I slammed the door at his request. "Will you at least get some then while you're out!?"

I started the shower and turned up my iHome. This wasn't the time for reliving the past. So I turned the water as hot as I could bear hoping the heat would burn the thoughts off the top layer of my skin. It had been two years, but it still felt like a half healed wound. Anyway, I had a meeting with Quinn and while I wasn't expecting anything romantic, I could use some quality feminine company. Once I was done showering, I quickly finished getting ready, making it a point not to get too dolled up or anything. This was nothing more than just coffee between old friends. I put on a pair of casual skinny jeans, a plain black v-neck and a slim fitted forest green hoodie.

As I left the bathroom Puck ran rushing past me and nearly pushed me out of the bathroom.

"Sorry bro, duty calls. Don't ever mix Sri racha with Tabasco and tapatio." He warned as he locked the bathroom.

"Hey! Open the window and light a match! Don't forget the air freshener!"

I grabbed my wallet, cell phone and iPod. I walked down the hall and down the three story staircase to the outside world. It was a sunny fall morning in New York and after that morning I could really use my usual cup of caffeine. I told Quinn to meet me at this corner coffee shop just two blocks down from my complex. I stopped here every morning before school, and figured if she was going to have coffee in New York it wouldn't be from some bull shit chain wannabe café. When I got there she hadn't yet arrived, so I ordered my usual and took a spot at one of the tables outside.

I wasn't sitting for longer than a single song when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw Quinn's bright smile above me. I pulled my headphones out and smiled back. "Morning!Did you get back to your hotel okay?" I asked.

She had quite a few drinks, so I made sure she had a cab take her back and gave specific directions to the driver as to how to get her back.

"Yeah, thanks again. I didn't realize Kori made her cocktails so strong," She commented taking her raybans off.

"Well it was her niece's engagement party," I chuckled sipping on my coffee.

"Oh sorry, I ordered without you. Kind of rude of me, but once you've tried their coffee you'll understand that you just can't wait,"

"Well by the smell of the roast I can tell it's gotta be damn good," she commented. I stood up and gestured for her to go on in.

"After you, are you in the mood for iced or hot?"

"Are you trying to flirt with me Lopez?" she smirked.

I hadn't realized my question could be mistaken for a line. "Oh sorry, I didn't mean-"

"I'm just screwing around with you, relax spaz," she said as she took a look at the menu.

She ordered an iced raspberry mocha, no foam and we returned to our table outside. The café we were at was naturally lit by the New York sun, a rare thing with all of the buildings surrounding it, but the way the sun hit between all the skyscrapers was perfect. The walls were adorned with local art from students of Columbia and NYU, some from graduates who've now had their pieces on display at national exhibits.

"This place is adorable. How'd you find it?" she asked as the server brought her coffee to our table.

"It's just two blocks down from my apartment actually. I come here every morning before class," I said sipping on my coffee.

"You know that girl was totally eye-fucking you, right?" she commented as the server walked away. The girl was about 20 years old, cute with a pixie hair cut and black hair with a purple sheen in the sun light.

"Oh her? Not really my type," I said with a shoulder shrug.

Quinn gave me a curious look before sipping on her coffee. Her expression grew wondrous as the coffee hit her taste buds.

"Holy shit that's good. You live a charmed life Miss Lopez. You've got all the cute young girls eying you like a 7 oz steak plus absolutely divine coffee within walking distance, and yet you seem so indifferent," she commented.

"What makes you say that?" I asked sipping my coffee.

"Because you could have any girl or guy for that matter wrapped around your finger and you could be conquering this town and yet you're content to live a quiet life?"

Four years ago I may have been trying to conquer NYC. But that was when I was a naïve know it all who thought she had the world figured out. Back when I still wanted the attention of anyone who was willing to give me the time of day.

"What can I say? I partied a lot when I first got here, and now I'm over that scene. I just want to do music and make a name for myself strictly for that reason alone. Enough about me though, what have you been up to?"

Quinn got the hint and played along. She definitely finished her marketing degree with the highest marks, but it turned out her minor was really where her passion was at. She minored in Graphic design and took up photography initially as a hobby. She's now an up and coming graphic design artist, sought out for her eye for detail and constructing billboard ads and marketing campaigns.

"Now that's more interesting to me than my life." I scooted up in my chair and continued to drink my coffee.

"I'm doing the wedding photos for Tina and Mike actually. I offered it to them as a wedding gift. Plus I think it'd be a fun side project," she added with a content smile.

If anyone had asked me, I never would have admitted it, but I missed her smile. It was without question that she had the brightest smile around. It was no wonder she won best smile when it came to the class superlatives at McKinley. As soon as she walked into a room and flashed those pearly whites, the room lit up with an energy unmatched.

"That's incredible. I'm glad you haven't gone total ivy leagueyuppy as an adult," I teased finishing off my coffee.

"Please. I think we can agree that as much as I tried to fit that mold it never really was me," she commented focusing closely on the ice that was left of her coffee.

Both of us had already finished our coffees and found ourselves just continuing to talk. I wondered how long I could go without telling people about her. How would I even begin to talk about her? I had met her back when I first enrolled at CUNY, and I had already begun the process of isolation prior to that. How do you catch someone up on a life that was purposely left in the dark?

"Hello? You still there Lopez?" Quinn asked waving a hand in front of my face.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry. I just got stuck in my head," I apologized and swallowed the lump in my throat. "So I do live just two blocks down, wanna come see my apartment?"

"Sure! I'm free all day actually," Quinn said jumping up at the chance.

This was nothing. I was just getting re-acquainted with an old friend. Part of that is re-learning to share my life with the people I want to bring back in. It had been so long since I had opened up these doors. It was like I could hear the creaking of the doors as I slowly pushed them open. Ugh, how the hell did I let myself grow so angsty?

We made our way down the street, I was waiting for the questions to start pouring in again.

"So what exactly turned you into a DJ?" Quinn asked.

I bit my lip and thought of how to answer it. Was the question really that difficult? Why did I need to analyze every answer I wanted to give this girl?

"I was originally just a music major, but a required elective was studio production, and the class turned out to be cake. All the little differences in treble and bass and the small touches, I was able to hear them and pick them out with ease. I surprised myself when I realized I was in love with all the technical aspects of it. "

We reached the apartment and when I walked in I noticed Puck was already out and about. He hardly spent time at the apartment. He enjoyed living the bohemian, tumbleweed lifestyle. He was a living troubadour in all honesty. It made living with him easy. He rarely asked questions and he was always willing to make music.

"So this is my apartment. It's pretty small and basic, but it'shome." I said. As soon as you entered you were in the living room. To the right was the kitchen with a four person dinner table. There was a counter/bar opening over the sink. There was a hallway just opposite the kitchen that led to the bedroom and the bathroom. In one corner of the living room was my computer with some basic home studio equipment and crates of records and spindles of hundreds of blank CD's.

"It's cute. You've made it feel really cozy," she commented. She walked straight over to the computer and fingered through the records. "Can I hear one of your mixes?"

"You already have, remember? The party last night?" I reminded her as I plopped down on the couch.

"Well yeah, but that was a dedication and homage to Mike and Tina. I wanna hear something that just came straight from you," she said with a small grin.

Letting people other than my professors hear my actual mixes was always somewhat nerve-racking. It sounds silly coming from someone who used to pour her heart and soul into covers in high school, but then it felt more like I channeled my emotions into a particular role for a song. My mixes were the emotions songs evoked and made me relive mixed and perfected to my experiences.

"Be easy on me? It may be a little rough," I admitted as I walked over to the computer, powered it on and found a track that might not be so bad.

The track started with Faith Evans singing sweetly, before the drums begin to break down and an old school track of falling in love all over again blends and takes over. Quinn smiled sweetly at the sentiments that were mentioned in the song, before the piano keys and drums signal Drake talking sweetly about love and then lead into his song "Best I Ever Had" with an old school R&B instrumental in the background.

I still remember when I first mixed the song. I had just met this girl at a party at CUNY. A bunch of music majors were throwing a party and two guys were having a sort of DJ battle when in walked this big, bright blue eyed red head with a grey beanie, black tank top and checkered knee length shorts. She looked like a total NY hipster, but she was possibly one of the most breathtaking girls I had ever seen.

As the second verse began to end the drum track went all chopped and screwed, fading out and fading in came 112's Cupid, with Drake's vocals being cut and layered and faded intricately over the sweet vocals of 112.

Quinn just continued to nod her head and smile. I could see the emotion she was feeling on her face as the mix's meaning evolved and took over.

"Cupid, doesn't lie. But you won't know unless you give it a try. True love, won't lie. But you won't know unless you give it a try," I sang quietly with it. It was just one of those slow jam songs that I couldn't resist to sing along with.

The track then suddenly started to rise with Michael Jackson's Human Nature but then quickly faded out.

Quinn chuckled to herself and lifted her eyes to meet mine. "That was so sweet. I never knew you could make mixes like that."

"Heh, thanks. It was one of my earlier ones. One of my favorites." I added.

"Who was it about?" she asked suddenly.

The question took me by surprise and I just looked up at her with a faux confused expression. "Umm, what do you mean?"

"Please, I saw your expression change and darken as the song started. Now stop beating around the bush and tell me about the girl." Quinn continued.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I tried to say with as much lightheartedness as possible.

"You're not fooling me, was she the girl that broke your itty bitty-"

"Quinn, please. Stop." I said firmly locking eyes with her.

Quinn got the hint because her joking demeanor immediately fell and she let it go.

"Okay, okay. Sorry." She apologized and looked to the ground.

"Thank you," I sighed. It had been quite some time since it happened, but it was hard to forget.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, and I'm not trying to continue the topic, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm always here," Quinn offered.

I stayed quiet and rubbed my arms. "Maybe one of these days. It's a really long story that could take awhile. I just try not to dwell on it, it was a pretty big part of my life. She. She was a pretty big part of my life."

"Well, luckily for you, I'll have a bit more time," Quinn replied with a warm smile. I looked at her quizzically. "I should have told you earlier, but I'm actually here for two weeks because I'm relocating. My internship offered me a permanent position here in New York, so I'll be here to stay,"

I gave her a sheepish grin, "It'd be nice to have someone other than Puck from Lima around."

Quinn grabbed her bag from the couch. "Your friends from Lima have always been around Santana, just because we're scattered everywhere doesn't mean we wouldn't be there for each other if it was needed."

I nodded at her words.

"Well you've got my number, I'll be around. I should probably start apartment hunting. I only have two weeks to find a place,ya know,"

I walked her to the door. "If you need some help getting around and stuff, you know where to find me Quinn."

She looked back at me and gave me a tight hug. "Today was fun. It's nice to have you around again. In a not so competitive capacity," she winked at me and I laughed.

"See you later,"

"See you around!"

I plopped back down on the couch once Quinn left. Could I share with her that part of me? It was a conflicting feeling. That part of the past six years was so detrimental to who I am now, but it was painful to recall. Those emotions, that relationship, the only person who really knows about it was Puck. I knew that if I was going to bring people into my present, that meant sharing with them what happened. I knew I couldn't remain closed off forever, but was I ready to talk about it and deal with everything? Time would only tell.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Hello again guys, hope you liked the last chapter. This chapter you'll get to hear more about Santana's mysterious former lady friend. I've been picturing Emma Stone as her so hopefully that helps some. I promise to bring in more locations and such once I get the story going a bit more. Please be patient, more stuff's going to happen, I'm still trying to build everything up so that I can start writing some more cute Quinntana stuff :] Please keep reviewing! The reviews are great motivation for writing and really do encourage me a lot. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, there's a bit more meat in this one than the last and it'll help pick the story up a bit more. Thanks for reading! Enjoy :]**

"Like every other story, it started with a girl. That girl," Peter parker spoke over the track as the familiar notes of My Cherie Amour by Stevie Wonder played in the background. It's about all I had so far for my final project. I thought creating this mix was going to be cake, but I kept finding it more difficult to find the perfect songs to mix to create that "instant first sight of love" jitters that everyone feels. So far I had the drum and clap track from Clipse's Grindin' to add an extra oomph to Stevie's sweet vocals, but other than that, I wasn't sure where to go next.

As I stared more intently at my screen, I saw a flash of my phone in the corner of my eye and saw Quinn's picture pop up. I sighed and hit the save button on my mix and grabbed my phone.

"Hey what's up Quinnie?" I asked as I spun around in my computer chair.

"Not much, I've been trying to apartment hunt but none of the places seem right. Think you could show me around the city girlie?" she asked. Her voice was echoing so I wasn't sure where she was at.

"Yeah, no problem. Where do you wanna meet?" I asked her as I closed out of Virtual DJ and grabbed my jacket.

"Ummm, that coffee spot? I'm about to hop on the subway in that direction anyway and could really use another cup of coffee," she sounded exasperated. My coffee fix was the perfect cure.

A smile curled on my lips as I chuckled at her over the phone "Sounds perfect, I'll meet you there,"

I grabbed my keys, wallet and iPhone and was on the path yet again to meet up with Quinn for coffee. I hadn't really seen her since that awkward day in my apartment. Since then I had been trying to just dive head first fully into my project for class, but it was obvious I was at a block. Part of me felt that seeing Quinn again and just relaxing around her would help rid me of this stall in the creative process. It was conflicting though, half of me didn't want to feel that way, and another was revving all engines full force to see what's going on there. Did Quinn have feelings for me? I highly doubted it. But who's to say that a little crush wasn't good for me? I had closed myself off to any sort of connections like that, this could be a good way to just see if I can handle it again.

By the time I was done over-analyzing myself, I had arrived at the coffee shop and ordered my usual order and an iced raspberry mocha for Quinn.

"What size would you like?" the cashier asked me. She did sound pretty exasperated on the phone.

"Better make it a large," I replied handing her a ten and telling her to keep the change for tip.

It was slightly chilly out today, so I grabbed a booth inside the café and sent Quinn a text notifying her of where I was. Just after I sent it, Quinn walked in through the doors in a rush. Her cheeks were flushed with a light pink blush, and she was breathing heavily. She pulled her beanie off, which sent some stray blonde hairs to become disheveled, but she lightly shook her head correctly them. Her eyes found mine, and she shot me a smile of relief. I instantly felt the corners of my mouth turn upward.

"Hey! So I take it the apartment search isn't going so well?" I asked pushing her coffee towards her.

"Oh you already ordered for me?" She took a sip and her face fell into pure delight at the taste. "God it just gets better and better every time. And you got me a large. A girl after my own heart,"

My expression must have changed immediately because she tried to assure me of different ideas.

"Not that I'm saying you're into me. Just that-"

"It's okay Quinn, really. You just sounded pretty stressed over the phone, so I thought I'd do something nice,"

"I appreciate it. And gosh yes, I didn't think it'd be so hard to find a decent apartment here, but all the people my firm sent me to help have just been taking me to these uppity posh places that are so not where I want to be,

"Too expensive?" I asked taking a sip of my coffee

"Well, the firm is paying for all the expenses really. "

I nearly spat my coffee out. "They're PAYING you to be out here working for them?! Who the hell are you!?

"Okay, you can't tell anyone this. But I may have secured them a three year contract with Apple. It's not been made public knowledge yet or anything so it's really really hush hush. But one night I was at a bar when I was still an intern and this guy was trying to talk me up. Totally not my type, but he started getting into advertising and graphic design."

Her eyes had lit up as she continued talking. She had this adorable expression on, the mention of challenging ideas and analyzing the public interest and what evokes people to want for things, it was something she was passionate about. It's the same with my mixes and DJing. A good DJ gauges the audience, feels out their energy, the vibe, and combines songs and tracks to feed and satisfy those wants

"So I pitched him this idea I had came up with during my internship, and how I thought it'd be great for Apple or a computer/electronic product that had a similar minimalistic style. Long story short, the guy gave me his card and said he was one of Apple's marketing consultants, and that I should tell my boss to give him a call to set up a meeting and potential contract!

"Holy shit Quinn! That's amazing!" I said offering my cup to cheers her on her success

"I know, right!? In the contract they specifically asked for me to be on board as a creative consultant for all advertising ideas, so I'm set for a couple of years. It isn't actually my firm paying for my expenses out here, it's Apple. But again, shhh, you don't know anything about it." She said again

"I always knew you'd be making quite the name for yourself in the business world. Lima was too small and easy for you to conquer. You've always been headed for bigger and better things," I told her with a soft smile.

"And what about you? You're an incredible DJ! You're just about done with school and are making it work out here. That's pretty awesome,"

"Please, it's not like I'm being publicized a ton and stuff,"

"Do you know how many times I've overheard people saying they wanted to go to your club?" she seriously asked with a straight stare.

"What do you mean?" I was incredibly confused. Sure we were one of the better and busier clubs in the area, but I always thought Le Poisson Rouge was just a staple of the neighborhood by now

"At restaurants, clothing stores, everywhere, I hear people all the time saying 'We should go to Le Poisson Rouge! They've got such a good DJ!'

"C'mon, that's not true," I said brushing her off and looking away.

"Santana. You don't see it because you don't let yourself see it. Once you open your eyes and take off the headphones, you'll see you're an incredible talent. More than just an obscure DJ behind a booth,

I took another sip of my coffee and then turned back to her. "Is there something wrong with being just a DJ behind a booth?" I felt that anger from so long ago flare up again.

"No! Don't get me wrong. I'm just saying that you're closer to your goals than you think. That's all," she could tell a sore spot was hit and immediately changed the subject. "So apartment hunting, ready?

"Yeah, let's do this," I said swallowing the lump in my throat from before and following her out of the café.

Once we left the coffee shop, I took Quinn to a couple apartment complexes around Manhattan and the NYC area. None were really to her liking, girl was picky. After hitting at least four or five different complexes, I decided to give an old professor of mine a call. He owned an awesome apartment just a ten minute subway ride from my place, but when he and his wife welcomed their first baby the place was too small. As extra income, they started to rent out the place rather than selling it, using the money to put towards the child's college fund.

"Okay, we've got one last place to check out, if you don't like this one, then girl you're shit outta luck," I told her as we hopped back on to the subway towards the place.

"Why did you stop keeping in touch with everyone?" Quinn asked while we sat on the subway in silence

"That was out of the blue," I pointed out as I crossed my legs and arms.

"Yes, but stop deflecting. I know that while you've given up the ice cold bitch defense mechanism, you've adopted the deflecting mechanism. Will you at least share with me why?" she continued.

I paused for a moment and bit my lip. There really was no time like the present. I couldn't keep making excuses, especially if Quinn and I were starting to become friends or whatever again. "It just became hard that's all. There wasn't really a real reason.

She gave me a blank expression that had 'I'm not buying this shit' written all over.

"Okay, okay. A lot of it had to do with Brittany. It hurt a lot when she chose Sam over me, as you know very well from Schuester's wedding. I just didn't want to deal with the pity and all that from everyone since she was the one person everyone knew I truly cared about. So I tried my hardest to keep that part of me closed off. Making that stuff only my business made it easier." I told her honestly.

"That doesn't explain the rest of us those. I mean, we know a lot of the time not to ask when it comes to you," Quinn added.

"Once Brittany and I ended things, I just wanted to throw myself into things that didn't remind me of her. Because while I did love her, she was more than just the girl I got my sweet lady kisses on with. She was also my best friend. If I wasn't busy, then all my thoughts kept running back to was how alone I was without her. "

Quinn nodded and placed a comforting hand on my back and started rubbing. "Well stop cutting us all off. I know it's funny hearing that from me, after all the hell we put each other through in high school. Especially after my awfulness after Mr. Schuester's wedding. But I feel also like after that night we got closer than we expected.

"I mean, aside from the 'not talking about it' thing, yes, there was a certain truce that we had entered," I laughed as we spoke about it. Truth was, while we never did talk about what that night meant, we were no longer at each others' throats. We were civil. Maybe it was all just sexual tension.

"So can I ask about-"

"No." I knew she was going to ask about her, but that was for another time. "Step by step Quinnie. One step at a time. Plus we're here,"

We got off the subway and made our way up the steps. We stood in front of a plain building and I looked for the one loose brick. Moving it aside I grabbed the key and unlocked the apartment door. When we walked inside, there was a spiral staircase leading up to the master bedroom, bathroom and was a sliding door that led to a balcony, and a fire escape that led to the roof as well. All the floors were hardwood, and the kitchen had newly installed stainless steel appliances. The counters were black granite and the cabinets were made of cherry wood. The place was perfect.

"This is gorgeous! It's exactly what I'm looking for!" Quinn exclaimed doing double takes of the place. She was adorable looking at all the cabinets and closets, inspecting all the fixtures and floors. As soon as she had walked in, I knew this was going to be the place she wanted.

A couple phone calls later, Quinn's boss and my professor were in talked for a lease. As we rode the subway back to my apartment, I was pretty happy with how the day unfolded. I was making progress, that was for sure. I was able to open up to Quinn about why I dropped off the face of the earth and how I did feel this inexplicable closeness with her after our one night together.

I hadn't felt that comfortable around anyone aside from Kori and Puck in what felt like years. Usually in a silence like this, I would find myself fidgeting and incredibly nervous, but instead what coursed through me was this feeling of calm. If I was able to share with her things from before, it couldn't hurt to share with the things I was most scared of.

"Her name was Chloe," I said.

Quinn put down her phone and turned her full attention to me, "What?

"The girl that the mix was about. The one I showed you the other day.

Quinn mouthed an "Oh" and nodded for me to continue.

"I met her during my first semester at CUNY. She was an art major, incredibly talented.

I paused for a minute. It had been a while since I even let myself think about those days, let alone voice thoughts describing them.

"Beautiful?" She asked, but it sounded more like a guess.

"Absolutely," I said with a small smile, recalling her wavy red hair, the sapphire blue eyes and her porcelain skin. That was about all I had wanted to say. Quinn stayed quiet hoping for me to continue, but I wasn't going to.

"What happened to her?" Quinn asked in a quiet voice.

I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that our stop was coming up. "This is our stop. Wanna grab some pizza? I know a place we can order from."

"You're not going to answer me, are you San?" Quinn asked as she stood up next to me.

I smiled at her and rubbed her arm. "All in due time Fabray. I'll tell you all in due time. So pizza?"

"I'm down, I'm famished," she smiled as we stepped off the subway and headed towards my apartment.

The next day I spent at my computer with my headphones over my ears and my turntables laid out in front of me. I was trying to get a section of scratching down perfect when I felt two large hands come from behind me and grab my sides.

"What the fuck, Puckerman!" I shouted tearing off my headphones.

"Whoa, relax Lopez. What's up with you?" He asked putting a 12 pack of beer down placing his backpack in the closet.

"Sorry, I've just been trying to get these scratches right for like two hours," I added grabbing a beer and popping the top off with the side of the table.

"Nice." He remarked. I shot him a glare, "I meant for the beer opening skills, not the scratching part, that sucks,"

"Mhmm," I moaned as I kept drinking the beer. "Ah, that hit the spot.

"So where's Quinnie your latest hot girl conquest?" Puck said as he lied down on the couch with his own beer.

"She's not my latest hot girl conquest. We're just, friends or-"

"Friends or whatever? Let's agree that she's in the 'or whatever' half. C'mon, you seriously haven't tapped that again? I know that when Chloe-"

My eyes narrowed on him. "Do you always have to bring her up? Why is it that whenever we talk about Quinn you also bringup Chloe?"

This time Puck's eyes narrowed on me. "Why do you always avoid the subject?" I turned away from him. "No, stop ignoring or trying to get me off the subject. You know you're like a bro to me, but how do you ever expect to move on without ever talking or dealing with this?"

I sighed and turned back to face him. "Look I know. It's not exactly the easiest thing in the world to talk about. I know it's been two almost three years since things ended. But the way they did, it's like-"

"I know. You'll never get the closure you need. But that's life bro. And right now, the hottest girl from high school has been pal-ing around with you for almost two weeks. You shouldn't keep her in the dark, it's not good for you,"

I laughed and smiled at him. "Since when did you become soinsightful,"

"Bro, I've always been insightful when it comes to getting into a woman's pants. I'm being your wingman," he said taking a swig from his beer.

I sat back down at my computer and sighed. "I did tell her when I met her. And that she was an artist and her name,"

Puck finished another swig before taking the bottle away from his lips. "You didn't tell her how crazy you guys were over each other though. Or what that relationship was like. Or how it ended,"

"I can't just drop all that on her at once. It would take like four days and it's not just something I can share on a subway ride for coffee or something," I turned my chair back around. "I don't like talking about feelings. Especially when it comes to Chloe. It's hard and it hurts and I've spent the last three years pushing it away so that I wouldn't have to hurt,"

Puck sat up and put his beer on the coffee table. "You're only hurting yourself not talking about it. Chloe wasn't just any relationship that ended. She took you away from everything you knew and brought you into a whole other world. Like what Super Mario did with the star maps,"

"We can't go a single conversation without a video game reference, can we?" I laughed as I took another drink from my beer.

"It's a good analogy or whatever! Anyway, Chloe changed you for the better. It just doesn't seem fair to hide that from the people who've been around you and still want to be around you,

Part of me hated admitting, even to myself, that Puck was right. The only people who knew about my past with Chloe was Puck,Kori and my parents. Once things ended, I fell off the grid all over again and just dove straight into my music and finishing up school. Chloe did help mold me into the person I am today, and I owed it to her to share the story. Our story. No matter how painful it'll be. There is no way I can hope to be happy again if I don't face up to my past and deal with all of it.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Wow! Thanks for all the reviews, follows, and favorites. You guys are seriously awesome. So I just cranked this chapter out today. Most of it is a flashback, and I hope you guys like it, you'll get to see some more of Santana's past, starting with her first couple months into CCNY. So I've never been to the east coast, but just realized that the school that Santana goes to in this fic is abbreviated to CCNY as opposed to to do with different institutions, blah blah blah. Anyway, from here on out, Santana goes to CCNY (City College of New York). I also want to clarify some time periods, in case anyone gets confused. Santana started CCNY at 19, in the time this fanfiction takes place she's 24. Chloe and her were together for at least two years, so it's been two or three years since the break up. I hope you guys like this chapter, I had a blast writing it :] Keep reviewing and hopefully I'll be able to continually update as quickly as I have been! :]**

* * *

Chloe was in my dream. For the third night in a row. I awoke in a sweat and shortness of breath, I was reliving everything. Part of me feels like she was visiting me, but another more logical part would say that my guilt for trying to move on is manifesting itself. Either way, maybe it is too soon for me still? Or is that just guilt? My conscience feels guilty just because I had never cared for someone as much as I cared for Chloe. Brittany was the first girl I ever truly cared for. Chloe felt like the one, or close to the one. The dream was of when I first met Chloe.

_When I first got to CUNY, my self-esteem was a fraction of what it used to be. The first two months I was there, I was still riding off the excitement of finally following my dream. But while I had a lot of bark and bite in Lima, New York wasn't silent. It barked and bit back much louder, harder and from every direction. It was humbling and put my arrogant ass in check. I remember the first assignment I was given in class and I thought it was a joke. I came up with some other more impressive, in my opinion, alternative to the assignment, and after my presentation my professor laughed at me._

_"Ahem, are you serious?" he scoffed. I just stared at him in confusion._

_Three days later I checked my grades online and saw the big fat F for a 90 pt. presentation. It was then that I realized I was definitely not in Lima anymore and my attitude and sass weren't going to cut it unless I could match it back. So after some coaxing from my roommate, a chill and collected writing major, Rebecca and I found ourselves at a party. She had been given a flyer for a big collective art majors party. We arrived at a large house just three blocks down from our dorm. It turned out one of the art major's didn't need to worry about residence when choosing her school._

_As soon as I got inside Rebecca was given two beers and instinctually handed me one of them._

_"Forget about that stupid F, relax and enjoy yourself, all right? I wanna see the attitude and confidence of Santana from Lima Heights Adjacent, okay?" Rebecca gave what was her version of a pep talk._

_"Santana from Lima Heights Adjacent wouldn't find herself at a party like this," I muttered drinking some of my beer._

_"Fine Mrs. McGrumpster. But will you quit with the crummy attitude, we're at a college party, you don't have to worry about all the drama from Lima or Kentucky, tabula rasa. "_

_"Spatula, what?"_

_"What? They don't even share the same first letter." Rebecca pointed out._

_"Whatever, what's it mean Webster," I called her and she laughed._

_"Webster, I like it. Keep up with that snark. Anyway, tabula rasa means blank, new or clean slate." She grabbed my wrist and tugged me further into the house and toward the living room. "Now let's have fun, okay? I need something awesome and exciting to happen tonight for my story,"_

_"Jesus does your mind ever stop thinking about writing and words?" I asked in shock._

_"It's my first love, what can I say?" she added as some of the party members finished setting up two DJ booths. "Oh no, give two college kids an iPod and they think they can play DJ,"_

_Rebecca was the first friend I made at school. She was a freshman in her first technical semester, while some of my credits did transfer over shockingly enough, and so I was already a semester in. But I had never seen someone with that level of passion and love for an art form. Well, there is Berry that comes to mind, but Rebecca wasn't as nearly irritating as Berry. She was always writing in a notebook or her laptop, scribbling down little thoughts or sayings on post its or napkins. I could tell she had that passion and ambition that can propel you to JK Rowling status. _

_She was always super chill and relaxed. Probably from all of theweed she smoked and stuff. Mostly edibles, girl was pretty smart about her herbs. But aside from her stoner status, she was a great person. She acted more like a big sister than anything else. _

_Just as the two DJ's started to spin and battle each other, in walked Chloe. Her red hair was coming down in thick spirals, she wore plaid green, gray and black knee length shorts with some black vans and a black slim fitted v-neck. She had the brightest blue eyes I had ever seen. She had some paint splotches on her shoes which told me she was into painting and sketching. I must have stared for too long because Rebecca swatted me on my arm._

_"I see that look. You've spotted a hottie, where is she?" Rebecca asked. I never had to come out to Rebecca, she didn't have gaydar, she had a literal sixth sense. "Oooh, the red-head? She's adorable. And definitely enjoys tacos,"_

_I swatted her on the arm. "And I thought I was bad with the vulgarity?"_

_"Pfft, I'm a writer, I speak and narrate as I write. Anyway, go say hi and get a number or something," Rebecca pushed me into the crowd. I turned back around to glare at her. "Finish your beer! Think Harry Potter and the felix felicis! It's liquid courage my friend!"_

_I laughed at her nerdiness and took a big gulp of my beer. I looked up from my cup and saw that she was checking me out from her peripherals. I smiled and suddenly felt a rush of confidence. Whether it was from the beer, or finally seeing a somewhat flirty smile flash my way._

_Just before I could open my mouth to let out something semi-witty, she beat me to the punch._

_"You aren't from around here, are you?" she whispered in my ear._

_"No? What makes you say that?" I replied._

_She pulled away and looked me square in the eyes, "I was giving you the 'stay where you are, I'm coming to you' side smile. Was just trying to excuse myself from my group,"_

_I chuckled and said "I'm also not a mind-reader. I don't think even a native New Yorker would have been able to see that,"_

_We smiled again at each other. She was beautiful. She seemed somewhat shy but itching with some confidence that she had never been able to show before. Her eyes were what were so captivating. Such a blue that I hadn't ever seen before. Up close they appeared as more of blue-green. They seem to change depending on the lighting. _

_"Can I get you a drink?" I asked her over the music. _

_"Yeah, a beer would be great," she replied. "I'll actually meet you by the stairs."_

_"Okay!" I shouted, while on the inside all I could think was how I really hoped that wasn't an invitation to be going up stairs._

_When I returned she was just sitting there tapping her shoes together. "Sorry, it's just really loud over there."_

_"No problem," I said handing her the red cup. Her voice was lower and raspier than mine, now I understood the obsession. _

_"So what's your major?" she asked me. She took a sip from her beer as she looked to me for a response._

_"Music, emphasis on music composition. How about you?" I asked._

_"Art major. Can't you tell from my shoes?" she asked cutely and brought her foot into my line of vision._

_"They were a bit of a tip, I will say," I commented and took another sip from the beer. "So what brought you to CCNY?"_

_She looked at me with a peculiar face and then chuckled. "What brings everyone to New York? The awesome food,"_

_It was my turn to shoot her a peculiar look and she laughed. "Well, I'll concur that the food is fantastic. But it's no Breadstix,"_

_"What? Do you mean the actual food, or the restaurant?" she asked and I shot her a look of surprise._

_"You know it's a restaurant as well?" I asked putting my beer down on one of the higher steps._

_"Yeah I'm from Lewisberg, West Virginia. Like you have to drive six or seven miles to get to it, but they just opened one outside the town."_

_"No way! I'm from Lima, Ohio. It's basically the nicest place we have in town," I told her. Finally, there was someone here who knows about Breadstix._

_"I miss that place, but can we really complain? We've got real Italian food made on every other corner," she reminds me._

_"There's something about good old processed crap Italian that makes me feel at home. I don't know. I guess I do miss my small town a little," I didn't know why I was telling her all of this. I had met her all of what, seven minutes ago?_

_She put her hand on my knee and squeezed. "I miss my po-dunk small town too. I mean, New York is incredible, but there's no place quite like home,"_

_We spent the rest of the night getting to know each other. She told me all about her job making pottery and mugs in Lewisberg. The arts were very important to the small town, and the pottery shop she worked for actually made mugs for the local coffee shops and restaurants in the town. She had always been interested in art from a very young age. She was sketching or drawing whenever she had the chance. As soon as she could drive she would take monthly trips to the closest college town to see some of the exhibits the students would set up. _

_"Parents?" I asked her._

_She stared at me and threw her hands palms up, "What kind of question is that? 'Parents?' What about them? Do I have them? How was their dinner?"_

_I laughed at how far her mind could jump when one word is said. She was incredibly cute, that was for certain. "What are your parents like?"_

_"Ahh, now we're getting somewhere. My mom passed away when I was young. My dad runs a bar in Lewisberg. Now stop giving me that face because you just heard my mother isn't alive. It's over, it happened when I was like four, not that I don't miss her, but I'm all right. I've gotten along just fine,"_

_I nodded and quickly tried to correct my expression since I hadn't realized I reacted so suddenly to her admission._

_"Sorry, it's just that sucks. I'll just be blunt and say that I'm sorry you got dealt such a shitty hand," I said taking another drink from my beer._

_"Eh, aside from that one black spot in my childhood, everything else was exactly what a kid could want,"_

_At some point we left the staircase and found ourselves outside on the front patio. She pulled out a little glass cigarette and stuffed some skunky smelling weed into it and handed it to me._

_"What? Out here? What if someone-"_

_"Girl, it's 2am on a Friday night in New York City, no one's going to give a shit," she said handing me a lighter. _

_I grabbed the lighter and lit up, smoking it like I would any other cigarette, except making sure to savor that second inhale a little bit more. I handed it to her so she could take a hit. She put it back in her bag and pulled out two Marlboro Smooths._

_"So did you choose New York because it was closer to home?" I asked her as I lit the cigarette. I wasn't a smoker, still am not, but if I'm at a party and had a couple drinks, why not._

_She exhaled and took another sip from her third beer. "Yes and no, I mean, it's nice knowing I can just take a train or bus back home anytime, but I've always wanted to be in New York. It's always called out to me," She paused and took another drag from the cigarette. "Isn't that the same reason for you?"_

_I took a drag from my cigarette and then exhaled. Looking out on to the busy street, this city never turned off, not even for a second. In Lima around 10 or 10:30 lights all over were powering down and you'd be lucky to find a 24hr convenience store. Here, everything was 24 hrs, it was all 24 hrs seven days a week._

_"I've always had a lot of energy, got into some trouble in Lima, so it was more or less me realizing to do what I wanted which was to be in the only city that could really keep up with me. And that it did, it even schooled me here and there," I smiled putting the cigarette out and flicking it into the street._

_"Hmmm, you're an interesting lady Santana Lopez. Very interesting." She said as she took one last drag from her cigarette and finally put it out. "You've got this 'don't mess with me' presence, but you're much more than an ice cold bitch. And much more than just an avid woman pleaser,"_

_I smiled at her, "So you think you've already got me all figured out?"_

_She leaned in closer to me and said "Not quite, but I'd like to get there,"_

_Just then I saw Rebecca poke her head out the door and gesture towards the street, indicating that we're taking off soon. "Can I have your number? We could possibly see each other again? In a less crowded capacity?"_

_She grabbed my phone and used it to call her own. "Save that number. I'll be calling you some time soon,"_

_Rebecca came outside and stood at the sidewalk while I said goodbye. "It was nice meeting you Chloe, I'll be waiting for that call,"_

_"You won't regret it," she said as I walked down to Rebecca and waved goodbye_.

It was then that I woke up in a cold sweat and huge sense of anxiety. It felt like that was just the previous night, and not five almost six years earlier. I could feel the warmth still that radiated from her body, the breath of her whisper on my ear. I could smell her unisex fragrance. My mind and heart reeled from the dream and memory as I fought the urge to cry.

I grabbed my sweater and wallet, headphones and ipod and decided I needed to go for a walk to clear my mind. Why did this always happen? Was it really me? Was I holding on to her all this time? I knew she wasn't coming back, so why did she still come to me in my dreams? I entered the liquor store and grabbed a mango, peach, passion fruit Rockstar and walked up to the register. I grabbed a red bic lighter and added it to the register.

"Can I also get a pack of Marlboro Smooths?" I asked as I handed the cashier my ID and debit card.

The cashier slid the pack of cigarettes with my ID and debit card on top over to me and nodded. I grabbed my things and walked out, placing everything but the cigarettes and lighter in my pockets. I banged the cigarettes against my palm to pack them before opening them up and holding one on my lip as I walked toward the subway. The only time I ever smoked was when I was with her. Back when everything first went down, I used to buy a pack every now and then just because they reminded me of her.

I rode the subway to my first apartment in NY and walked the three blocks down to the house that I met Chloe. The family has since moved and the house hasn't been purchased due to the awful housing market. I sat on the curb opposite the house, just smoking my cigarette and drinking my Rockstar. I've become slightly creepy, I'll admit that here and only here. But in a way I felt like I was facing down the face of my demons as I studied the house.

It was here that I met Chloe. Just five years ago I was sitting on that porch with a girl and had no idea the journey she would take me on. It was here that a girl would just completely set my world on fire, but eventually fires go out and leave nothing but ashes in their wake. I sat for five more minutes, having one more cigarette. The creativity was starting to flow, it was rising within me, and all that was left to do with it was turn it into a mix.

I flicked my cigarette across the street and started my walk back to the subway stop. It had been a while since I welcomed the memories of Chloe. They all flooded back to me at once. Our first date, our first kiss, our first time, our first fight. All of the melodrama, all of the triumphs, there was nothing in this world that could make me forget her. But was it possible for me to let her go? I never would have let her go otherwise, but it was becoming increasingly more evident that I needed to. The only way to let her go was to take hold of all this baggage and sort it out.

When I arrived back at the apartment, it was four in the morning and Puck was sitting up on the couch flipping through channels. I tossed the pack of cigarettes on the coffee table in front of him and sat down on one of the chairs.

"Uh oh, you have those menthols. Everything okay bro?" he asked putting the remote down.

I nodded and took a deep breath. "She was in my dream."

Puck nodded and grabbed a cigarette from the pack. He nodded to the balcony and I grabbed the pack and my lighter, following him outside. He lit up the cigarette and stared down at the nonstop activity that remained below us. The hustle and bustle felt like nothing compared to the traffic jams, automobile accidents and full on stops that were the emotions building up inside me.

I wrapped my arms around myself as I smoked my cigarette. Puck pulled his cigarette from his mouth and pulled me into his arms instead. I could feel the tears coming to my eyes as everything boiled up.

"I'm here. Someone is here with you. You aren't alone," he assured me as I just clung to him, trying my hardest to keep from crying.

"Sometimes I just wish I could forget, ya know?" I admitted as I pulled away and wiped my eyes. "But then I remember that would mean I'd have never been with her. And then I'm back to square one, heartbroken and missing her,"

Puck nodded. "I had never seen you happier than when Chloe was around. She was an amazing girl and you guys were fucking bad ass together,"

"Thanks Puck," I said with a smile as I took another drag from my cigarette.

"But I haven't seen as much life in you as I have since Quinn and our family from Lima has come back around. I know how much Chloe means to you, but don't forget how much you meant to her as well, and what she would have wanted you to do." Puck said as he turned back to the city.

I sighed and put my cigarette out, looking across the four am city and flicking my cigarette out over the balcony. "I wish this weren't so difficult though. I hate that I have a dream and I'm out at all hours of the night buying cigarettes and staying up as long as possible, because I'm terrified of seeing her when I go back to sleep. There are moments when remembering doesn't hurt, and then the last month runs through my mind, and I feel like sitting in a corner and locking the door so no one can find me. I just wish remembering her didn't mean falling apart,"

Puck put a reassuring hand on my back. "You'll get there bro. Until then, wanna go grab a burrito from Los Papitos? I'm starving,"

I looked at Puck and gave him a small smile. He had been my rock for the last three years. If I couldn't sleep, he was up with me watching TV, playing music, or getting late night fast food. He only pushed me to talk when he can tell I was close to doing something stupid, but otherwise, he allowed me to do what I needed.

"Sure. And thanks Puckerman. For everything," I said squeezing his hand.

"Anything for my best bro," he said as he opened the window and we hopped through back inside the apartment.

One of these days I'll be able to wake up from a dream of Chloe and not go running away. I'll be able to wake up and smile, and not allow the heartbreak to cripple me. There is one thing I know for sure, if it weren't for having people like Puck or Quinn, who exercised patience with me, I wouldn't be able to do this. Puck was right though, Chloe would be telling me to just let go and move on. She never held me back once, this moment didn't change that for a second.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Happy Quinntana day everyone! In celebration I've written a somewhat fluffy flirty Quinntana chapter for everyone. So it seems that my inspiration has been on an overload lately (hope you guys appreciate getting spoiled :] ) and I just can't help butto keep writing. Thanks again to everyone who reviews, follows or favorites this story. It really means a lot and is greatly appreciated. Please continue to review and give feedback, I'd really like to hear what are everyone's thoughts and speculations on Chloe :] I'm having a lot of fun writing this fanfic so I hope you guys are enjoying the read as much as I am. All I can continue saying is just thank you and please don't stop! You guys are awesome.**

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A week later I was sitting at my laptop still making more mixes. My life was quite routine and boring, school, work, music, school, work music. Just that cycle on repeat. It was day three of me in my pajamas at the computer when Puck entered the apartment with Quinn and Mercedes right behind him.

"I told you guys she would still be here," He said as soon as he entered the door.

"Dude! Not even a courtesy call or anything?!" I said grabbing my sweater. I was wearing a sports bra and baggy pajama pants. I saw Quinn's expression as she eyed me up and down and her eyebrow quirked. "Eyes off the goods Fabray,"

"Nothing I haven't seen before," she snapped back with a smile.

"You need out of this apartment Lopez," Mercedes said as she started to wave her hand in front of her nose. "You've got that three day stank going on,"

I turned to Puck "You and I will be talking later, You-" I turned to Quinn "since when have you been so open about your sex life. And you-" I turned to Mercedes, "I will give you a hug and everything after I've showered and washed off my 'three day stank.'"

I rushed off to my room for fresh clothes and then ducked into the bathroom to shower. When I returned, Puck had managed to get them all to sit at the TV and start playing GoldenEye for the Nintendo 64.

"Oh no, he's reeled you guys in hasn't he?"

"I'm just roaming around aimlessly, I keep getting blown up," Mercedes said with an unamused tone.

"Just give me my guns back!" Quinn shouted as she chased Puck around on the screen.

"I can't just give them back! You died, so I took them! It's part of the game!" He said taking out one of the computer shooters. "There, take his guns and now you aren't unarmed."

The image in my living room only made me laugh. Never in a million years had I envisioned Quinn and Mercedes sitting with Puck in my living room playing video games.

"He's behind you. Quinn, Quinn, QUINN! Bitch get down!" Mercedes shouted as Puck came from behind and shot Quinn.

Everyone turned to Mercedes who was sitting at the edge of the couch now with a pillow in her lap and controller in her hands glaring at the screen. "Aw hells to the no. These beezies be going down,"

Quinn and I just erupted in laughter at the sight of Mercedes growing so absorbed in the game. "All right as much as I love this image, I thought I was supposed to leave the apartment today?"

"Oh yeah! It's six right now, we should go catch happy hour and dinner-" Quinn interrupted Puck.

"And then we're going to karaoke night," she concluded as she stood up and grabbed her bag.

"Umm, karaoke night?" I said with a quirk of my eyebrow.

"Yeah bro, Kurt, Rachel and Mike and Tina are meeting up with us too. Let's get going!" Puck said hopping over the couch and grabbing his black fedora that he thought went with his black button up and dark washed jeans.

"You look like Jason Mraz, Puckerman," I commented.

"He's a fruit who still can get all the ladies, so I'll take it." He replied as he opened the door for Mercedes, Quinn and I. "Now off we go ladies,"

"Wait, I almost-"

"Cedes, put the controller down, we can play more when we get back!" Puck said as he held the door a little longer for her.

She glared at him on the way out and said "Now this is why I don't play video games."

We met up with everyone at a Thai food restaurant a few blocks down from the karaoke bar. Kurt, Mike, Tina and Rachel were already seated with drinks.

"What is this? I thought at least half of you were in other parts of the country?" I asked giving everyone hugs and kisses on the cheek.

"Girl, I'm done recording. I'm here doing promotional stuff with local clubs and bars trying to get people to sell the album," Mercedes said as she looked over the menu.

I was proud of her. She knew she wanted to be a star, but she was willing to work as hard for her success as anyone else I knew. Most people would just be trying to get signed with any huge company. Mercedes opted to go the independent route to keep control of her music and voice. I had nothing but respect and admiration for her.

"I'm on a bit of a break from Broadway rehearsals, a lot of the cast has gotten the flu so we're all on leave until everyone's better, no need to spread it around to everyone else," Rachel said in her typical grating tone. I've missed it though.

We all ordered our drinks and continued talking. "Hey Santana, we were wondering if you'd be able to do us a big favor," Tina turned to me from her chair.

"Yeah, what's up?" I asked. I grabbed my whiskey sour as the two smiled at each other and looked back to me.

"We were wondering if you'd be interested in being the DJ for our wedding? We really loved the music you provided at the engagement party and we'd love to have you be a part of the wedding," Tina said.

"Oh wow guys, I'd be honored. Of course I'd do it!" I said grabbing Tina's hand and squeezing.

"We can pay you too! I don't know what your rate is-"

"Please guys, this is my wedding gift to you guys. Don't worry about it," I said taking another drink from my cocktail.

I could see Quinn from the corner of my eye smiling and laughing at something Kurt and Mercedes said. She was so breathtaking. She could lift the spirits of any event or occasion; she had on multiple occasion for me. I remember the last time Puck and I talked, what Chloe would have wanted for me. I was definitely trying, but also, it has been at least five years since I've flirted or hit on anyone. Also, I'm not positive there's anything there between Quinn and I. Sure we hung out a lot and sometimes we made comments that straddled the line between friends and more, but otherwise it seemed like things between us were just platonic. Did I want that though? Because there's an inexplicable pull I feel whenever she's around. There's just no denying it.

The server arrived with our food, which turned more into a sharing of dishes than anything else. The table seemed to quiet down substantially as soon as the food arrived. I noticed Kurt looking around with a peculiar expression.

"So quiet," he said nearly inaudibly.

"It's just… So good.." Puck replied in between bites.

"Shhh, no words should taint this heavenly moment," Mike added as he took a bite of his red curry.

As soon as everyone finished stage two of the festivities were ready to begin. We all headed down to the karaoke bar for more drinks and some off-key singing.

When we entered Quinn lingered behind to walk in with me. "How much you wanna bet until Rachel tries to get us to do vocal exercises?"

I eyed the up and coming broadway star as she ordered her drink from the bar. "I'm giving her five minutes, she's about to be her third drink into the evening,"

"Two drinks says three minutes," Quinn said as the two of us followed the group to the bar and ordered some drinks.

As we all gathered at the one available booth before we could even sit down Rachel was trying to gather everyone's attention.

"All right guys, remember the warm ups?"

Everyone moaned and groaned trying to stop her. "Seriously Berry, no one's even picked a song yet!" Puck exclaimed.

"Mmm, who needs warm ups when I've got a long island iced tea right here," Mercedes countered as she took one huge gulp of her drank.

I knew as soon as we had all gotten drunk at Berry's house when we were seventeen that we'd want to relive the experience when we were older. Some of the funniest scenes I had ever seen in my life were from that night.

"And you owe me five bucks for this martini, lady," Quinn said holding her hand out. I laid a Lincoln down on her palm and Rachel just looked at us both.

"I was just thinking we should impre-"

"Rachel, it's half of the original Glee members all together in New York. We ain't gotta impress shit!" I exclaimed after taking a huge gulp of my beer.

"Ooohh, watch out Santana Lopez is back in form," Mercedes observed as she started reach almost giggle fit status.

I could feel my cheeks start to blush, I couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol or actual embarrassment. Either way it didn't really matter, I was having a good time. Just then Mike arrived back to the booth.

"C'mon, we all gotta get on stage now. I picked out the perfect first song for tonight," Mike said grabbing and pushing everyone toward the stage.

As soon as we reached the stage the familiar acoustic guitar riff started and we had all realized it was Ride Wit Me by Nelly. We didn't even need microphones as we all started singing/rapping the lyrics all in sync. It was like all of us were transported back to our sophomore year of high school, back when times were much simpler. I looked at all of us on that stage with the widest of smiles and laughs. We were all dancing and just acting like sixteen year olds again. It had been so long since those days. During the second verse all the girls turned to the guys to take over the verse and then we switched off for the third verse. While it was only about half of the team with us, it still felt like a reunion of sorts to have even that many of us together in one location. I realized that this could have been in my life much earlier, and that there was never any reason for me to have lost it in the first place.

When the song ended and we were making our way back to our table, Quinn walked behind me and grabbed my hand. I looked to her with a confused expression and she just simply smiled at me, biting her lower lip. Jesus Christ was she adorable. "Admit that you've missed that,"

I leaned into her closer and whispered into her ear "More than I thought I had,"

We pulled away, still grinning from ear to ear as we made our way back to the table. Yep, there was no question about it. I was definitely feeling something more than just platonic for Quinn Fabray. But I still couldn't answer whether or not that meant I was ready to dive head first into the water or not. We got back to the table and Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel were already planning a song for all three of them to sing.

"Hang on, before you guys rush off, can we just remember how often the three of you guys fought over songs back in Glee club?" Quinn pointed out, her cheeks turning a rosier red by every sip she took.

"Awww, look at the maturity. And now they're rushing at the chance to sing together!" I commented with a teasing tone.

"And fuck you Lopez, don't think you're done singing for the evening!" Kurt said as he pushed the two other girls toward the stage.

Quinn and I laughed as the three of them headed up the stage ready for another number. The alcohol coursing through my veins made me crave a cigarette. I turned to Puck and made a motion for a cigarette. He grabbed the pack from the week before and tossed me one with a pack of matches. I headed toward the patio, which was surprisingly empty to get some cool air. Just as I lit the cigarette, I heard the door open and close. I turned around and saw Quinn walking toward me with her arms crossed, biting her lip again.

"You know these things will kill you," she said as she pulled it from my fingers and took a drag of it.

The image left an unsettled feeling in me. Here was the girl I was hoping stood for the happiness I'm capable of having, and she was helping me smoke down the memory of the girl who showed me what happiness was in itself.

I grabbed the cigarette from her and took another drag, "Yep, so I figured the more I smoke the less cancer there is for everyone else to smoke,"

She giggled and I smiled warmly at her. "You've got a fucked up logic, Lopez,"

"I've been told that, but all that matters is that it makes sense to me," I replied after exhaling. "But in all seriousness, I was really stressed last week, so I caved and bought a pack. I don't usually ever smoke unless I'm having a few drinks or am just stressed,"

Quinn grabbed the half smoked cigarette from my hands and took another drag. She looked toward the sky, her lovely neck bare as she exhaled the toxic smoke into the atmosphere above. All I could think about was feeling how soft she was with my lips. "What had you so stressed, if you don't mind me asking?"

I took a beat and stared at her for a moment, trying to register if this was a good time to open up, or if I should wait until I was less inebriated. "Chloe," my heart made the decision for me.

"Ahhh, the girl from the mix," Quinn added taking another drag and finishing the cigarette for me. I stared at her with an incredulous look and she simply shrugged at me. "What? I'm prolonging your death. Anyway, was she in town or something?"

I could see her eyes darken and her tone change a bit when she asked. Was it jealousy I saw flash in her demeanor? "No, you don't have to worry about that,"

"Who says I'm worried?" she asked with a slight edge. Yep, that was jealousy.

I grabbed her by the shoulders and pulled her in closer. I could feel her heart was beating fast, which didn't really mean anything considering how much we've been drinking. But the amount we've been drinking was telling me the exact this was something. I leaned in to whisper to her for the second time tonight.

"Because ever since our night I can hear and feel your vibes like no other," and just like that, I could feel her smile against my ear at my whispered words. She playfully pushed me away and I chuckled in response.

"But really, why was she stressing you out?" Quinn asked.

I looked out to the city for a moment and then turned back to her. "You could say the way things ended were abrupt. It was all very sudden without any time for tying up loose ends. I waskinda fucked up and traumatized after it all. And there's no way to reach or contact her now."

"Jesus Christ, I didn't realize that it was that intense," Quinn said, I could hear the concern growing in her voice. "Are you okay now? What happened if I-"

"I'd rather not get into the details right this moment," I said with a cautionary smile. "Inebriation, etc. Not a good recipe,"

She nodded and stayed quiet.

"But yeah, there was just a reminder of something and I tend to have mini freak outs whenever the reminder is super intense. I don't mean like full on panic attacks or anything, just like, I go get some cigarettes and walk around or exercise for a while. " Iassured her. I wasn't going crazy, I was just still trying to heal.

"One of these days, will you tell me the full story of her? I'd like to hear it if you're open to sharing," Quinn offered. I turned to her and saw the sincerity in her features. There were no pangs of jealousy or ill-feelings, just pure friendship and affection for me and my well being.

I nodded. "One of these days, until then, I'll have to continue trying your patience,"

She laughed and then took a step toward me, leaning in close as she said these words, "I've got all the patience in the world," She stepped back and headed back toward the door. "You coming, San?"

I sighed and then followed right behind her.

When we walked back in we saw Mercedes on stage singing Creep by TLC, and I knew automatically that Quinn and I had to go back her up. Grabbing her hand before she could sit back down, I pulled her to follow me up to the stage with Mercedes.

"You better remember this song from Schuester's wedding, he would not let up on the 90s RnB!" I said as I grabbed microphones from the stand.

"So I creep, yeah, just keep it on the down low ain't nobody else supposed to know," we all sang as the chorus came up. All of our cheeks were bright red as we finished the song with Mercedes. The entire time we sang the sultry song I could feel Quinn's eyes on me periodically, just as I'm sure she could feel mine on her.

As we walked back toward the booth, I could see Puck giving me a thumbs up and a wink. I sent the middle finger back his way and he air caught it and put it in his back pocket. I laughed as we sat back down. The rest of the night kept a steady rotation of us all picking songs to sing together, drinking even more, and laughing about the days of our past filled with high school drama and musical tunes.

"You know, some days I felt like I was living in a musical. Anyone else get that feeling?" Mike asked as everyone shot him the 'Uh-Duh' face and proceeded to clink glasses and finish our drinks.

"Oh thank god for the no need to drive in New York, no chance of a DUI," Quinn said as she let out a small burp. "Oh god excuse me, that's revolting,"

I turned and saw Mercedes and Tina cackling at something in the corner. "Oh no, wheezy and other Asian have hit the giggle fits, think it's time to cut them off?"

"No! Can't tell me nothing!" Mercedes exclaimed as she got up and headed for the bar.

"Well that's that," I added finishing my drink. "All right, anyone else need another? It's on me!"

All hands shot up and I decided to just bring another pitcher of beer over instead of grabbing individual drink orders. I was too tipsy to remember them anyway. When I got to the bar I couldn't see Mercedes anywhere. She must have headed to the bathroom. Before grabbing the pitcher I decided to go ahead and double check. As I was about to enter the bathroom, I turned my head to the corner and saw her completely wrapped up in who even I, hot Latina Lesbian, could describe as a gorgeous man.

"Ow-ow! Get it girl!" I hollered at her as I walked back to the bar and grabbed the pitcher.

When I headed back without Mercedes at my side, Rachel grew concerned.

"I thought Mercedes went to get a drink?" Rachel said as I put the pitcher down.

"Oh and let me tell you, she is definitely getting her drinks, ON!" I added pointing over to the corner that I spotted her at. As everyone stood to check it out their eyes all widened and everyone started cat-calling and hollering.

"Who knew the girl had it in her!?" Mike said with a laugh.

"About time she started using her curves and fabulousness to her advantage!" Kurt said pouring himself a beer.

The rest of the night lasted for another hour or so before we decided to venture on to stage three of the night. It took some tries, but we finally managed to get Mercedes away from the hunk of meat that even Kurt was fawning over once he got a closer look. I did notice he slipped Mercedes a piece of paper, I grabbed it from her before she lost it. He definitely looked like a keeper, and I'm sure she'd hate to lose his number on the walk home. Puck and I took everyone back to our place, where we managed to start a seven person Super Smash Bros tournament. I started to pre-heat the oven and was about to grab bagel bites and chicken nuggets from the freezer when Quinn's form entered the kitchen.

"Holy shit woman! You scared me! You can't creep into a kitchen when the freezer is open!" I exclaimed placing my hand over my heart.

"I was just coming to see if you needed any help," she said as she stepped further into the kitchen.

I laughed and then felt her inching closer and closer. She was only a few inches from me when I decided to stop her "Umm, Quinn?"

"Mhmm?" she said only an inch away from kissing my neck.

"We shouldn't do this here," I said gently pushing her away. I was surprised I had enough self-control to do that.

Quinn's eye brow furrowed and her face scrunched a little. "Do you not-"

"No! Don't get that idea, please don't. I think I've made it more than obvious, especially tonight, that I do," I added.

"Then what's the problem?" Quinn asked still not able to connect the dots.

Of course she couldn't connect the dots. All she knew was that I loved a girl named Chloe, it ended badly, and I was the idiot who couldn't move on even after three years of it being over.

I opened my mouth to answer but I just couldn't bring myself to say the words. "It's really complicated, and I wish I could just tell you everything, but it wouldn't sound right especially with how much alcohol we've both had. Even I'm sure this is coming out really oddly worded and slurred. But anyway, just trust me, right now isn't the time. I can't tell you when, but you'll know when I know it's the right time. Believe me, you will," I said trying to add as much emphasis as possible at the end.

Quinn sighed and bit her lip. God did that drive me absolutely crazy. With this much in my system, I could have bit her lip for her. And apparently she wanted me to, but tonight wasn't the night. "Well I can't wait for that time. I'll be thinking about our night until then," she said with a squeeze of my hand.

As she walked out of the kitchen I could feel my knees turn to jelly and I stifled a moan from deep within. Just then Puck entered the kitchen giving me a look of shame.

"How could you?" he said with mock disappointment.

"You creeper! You were eavesdropping!?" I said pushing him against the wall lightly.

"I was hoping I'd be hearing my bro sealing the deal. She threw herself at you!" Puck said in shock.

"Trust me Puck, it's going to happen. Don't you worry about that," I said as I put the frozen junk food into the oven.

"It better! My bro needs to get some!" He said with a laugh as he headed back into the living.

I chuckled to myself. I was incredibly lucky to have these people in my life. I slipped out without anyone noticing to the balcony for a cigarette. I looked out over the city and could only think of how lucky I was. I couldn't believe the amount of wonderful people who were still willing to be my friends and stick by my side after pushing them all away for so long. I didn't bother finishing the rest of the cigarette as I flicked the cigarette off the balcony. Chloe wouldn't want me to be dwelling on her. She would want me to enjoy the rest of the evening. These thoughts and concerns could be left for another day.


	6. Chapter 6

About an hour later we found ourselves halfway through a Drinking Super Smash Bros tournament. To this day I still have no idea how we managed to all agree to this, but the rule was basically you had to take a drink every time you killed someone and the person who died has to take two drinks. If you killed yourself you had to take three drinks.

Quinn, Kurt, Rachel and I were the first ones to get knocked out of the tournament. The remaining four was Puck, Mercedes, Tina and Mike. Puck, Tina and Mike I know have had video game hang out sessions so I know they're decent. But the real MVP was Mercedes as Kirby. She knew how to use that hammer. Shit, Puck's even got me talking about video games.

The next one out was surprisingly Mike, followed by Tina, and then it was the final showdown between Puck and Mercedes.

"Oh you're going down sister," Puck said grabbing two new beers from the fridge and handing one to Mercedes.

"Home boy you can't get on my level!" Mercedes exclaimed as she high fived all of us who got knocked out in the first round.

"You got this Cedes," Kurt said beginning to massage her shoulders.

Quinn popped the bottle cap off the beer and handed it to Mercedes, "He knows how to dodge and shit, so you just gottaanticipate his movements,"

We were all pretty damn tipsy at this point. I decided to put on a mix I had made a while back that I typically used for parties.

((Actual song used is Girl Talk's Oh No))

"You got this bro. You're winning this for all of us," Mike said patting Puck on the back.

The battle started and Puck was able to dodge Mercedes'sattacks. For a good five minutes it was mostly just Mercedes trying to use Kirby's hammer against Puck, but he kept dodging due to the attack's delay.

"Anticipate! Anticipate!" Quinn shouted lightly smackingMercedes's shoulder

"Girl don't make me pause this game and take you to the carpet!" Mercedes shouted as Puck K.O.'d her.

Everyone starting hooting and hollering.

"Oh what up!? One down two more to go!" Puck shouted high fiving Tina and Mike.

"Oh I'm just taking my time," Mercedes said.

Puck hit Mercedes up and as she soared in the air she managed to turn the battle around and do a body slam on his character, instantly taking one of his three lives.

"What up now!?" she shouted back.

For fifteen minutes the two were neck and neck, trading blow for blow, Puck dodging and Mercedes trying to stay afloat from his massive attacks.

The two were at 150% damage and just when we all thought Puck was going to deliver the final blow, Mercedes managed to dodge at the last second and use Kirby's hammer and send him soaring across the screen.

"NO!" Puck bellowed as Mercedes stood up holding the controller over her head.

"Mercedes Jones don't play around!" she said as Kurt grabbed the throw blanket behind the couch and wrapped it around Mercedes. "Now finish yo drank!"

"Dude, I can't believe you let her get you like that," Mike said in a quiet voice.

"Don't underestimate her! She was a beast with Kirby!" Puck exclaimed after he finished his beer.

The party continued for another hour or so, playing various drinking games. We started with Fuck the Dealer, which only screwed Kurt over since he was unable to get two people out consecutively. By the end of that game, Mercedes and Kurt were on the love seat having serious cases of the giggle fits.

While those two sat out, the other five of us continued with King's Cup.

"I draw a five of spades!" Rachel proclaimed laying the card face up next to the King's Cup in the center of the table.

"All right ladies and gents, it's time for Never Have I Ever," Puck announced as everyone put six fingers up in the air."Rachel, if you'll do the honors,"

"Oh! Umm…" Rachel started to think. "Never have I slept with a woman,"

Everyone but Tina and Rachel put one finger down. Quinn and eyed caught each others' eyes and we both smiled. I broke contact first allowing the alcohol to take hold of the reins.

"Hobbit it took you long enough, Jesus," I said jokingly.

"Everyone drink!" Mike shouted and everyone took a drink.

"Umm, what the fuck was that?" I asked in a confused tone.

"We made a rule of the night that every time you revert back to high school Santana, we all drink," Puck explained with a goofy grin.

"Oh really?" I said with a knowing grin growing on my face.

"Shit, we've awakened her," Tina slurred.

"I'm about to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on ya asses!" Everyone took a drink. "Oh this is going to be too fun,"

Rachel smacked Mike on the arm. "Now she's going to abuse it!"

"Okay Hobbit, I do believe it's Lucy's turn," I said shooting a mischievous expression to Quinn.

"Oh you bitch," Quinn said with a laugh as everyone took another drink. "Can we do 'I Have''s?"

I nodded.

"I've came four times in one night," Quinn announced.

The rest of us put a finger down and I immediately smacked her arm and gave her a knowing look. I mouthed to her while everyone high fived Mike on a job well done, 'Me?'. Quinn nodded with a sexy smile. In my head I fist pumped and was shooting all of Sue Sylvester's confetti canons.

"Never have I ever, enjoyed sex with a guy," I said once I got over my inner celebrations.

Tina and Rachel were the only ones to put a finger down.

"What!? Quinn! Seriously!?" Puck exclaimed in pure astonishment.

"First, we were barely sixteen and drunk. And sorry, you weren't exactly as experienced as you thought you were. Second, I ended up pregnant," Quinn said taking a drink of her beer.

I couldn't believe how casually Quinn was talking about this dark spot from high school. No one really wanted to bring up Beth since our senior year of high school. It just seemed like a taboo topic, but here she was just spewing about it drunkenly. Okay, well it probably was the alcohol on second thought. We quickly tried to move on.

"Okay, never have I had sex in an elevator," Mike said.

Puck and I both put a finger down. Everyone eyed us curiously and I laughed.

"Oh god, not together. We both separately had sex in an elevator,"

Once the moment passed it was Tina's turn. "Hmm, I have had sex in a dance studio,"

Rachel, Puck and Quinn both put a finger down.

"Bro, how have we been bros and you haven't had sex with a dancer?" I said to Puck

It had been quite a long time since I was ever this drunk. Usually I refrained from getting completely drunk just because there wasn't anyone besides Puck that I trusted myself enough to be this inebriated with. For the first time in a while I was able to just enjoy myself and not get stuck in my own thoughts and baggage. I could cut loose, truly be myself and just have fun.

During the middle of the game, everyone suddenly fell silent to overhear Mercedes and Kurt's conversation.

"Cedes, that guy you were making out with? So yummy," Kurt said dragging out his vowels.

"Wasn't he?" Mercedes said sipping on some water.

"Cedes. Cedes. Cedes, how did you even manage to hook up with him? What is your game?" Kurt asked, His face was bright red and his stature uneasy.

Mercedes was quiet for a while and then burst out laughing. In between laughs she managed out, "I honestly don't remember, I'm so drunk!"

After a few more full rounds around the table, everyone started to grow tired. Puck put on Netflix and we started watchingSpongebob Squarepants. Kurt and Mercedes were already passed out on the loveseat, while Rachel was bobbing her head trying to keep herself awake. It was close to 3am by the time everyone started to wind down and finally doze off.

Puck and I wound up moving the living room coffee table to get the air mattress blown up for Kurt, Mercedes and Rachel. Mike was the logical one and drank water during King's Cup and called a cab for him and Tina. Quinn took the loveseat while Puck took the longer couch.

I stayed up to make sure everything was put away and turned off. I put on a pot of coffee, knowing that if I went to sleep any time soon I would only wake up with a hell of a migraine. One that would only provoke my angry side, Snix. Quinn was still up helping me put the dishes in the dish washer and picking up any leftover garbage. She took the bags to the door so that they could be disposed of in the morning.

I'm sure she felt the same about going to bed with her alcohol content level. With the amount of times I started teasing everyone throughout King's cup? By the time we had finished I was still on my first drink of the game and everyone was almost done with their third. I may have abused it a little, but it sure as hell helped create some of the most hilarious parts of the night.

I was pouring us both cups of coffee when I heard Quinn sigh behind me.

"There's something about the image of a woman in the kitchen," Quinn teased.

"Really now?" I said turning around and handing her the to-go cup. I really hated washing dishes, but anyway. We both smiled shyly at each other and I proceeded to sip on my coffee while her eyes found their way to the floor.

"I'm sorry about earlier," She said as she brought the cup to her lips.

"What are you talking about?" I was hoping she and I wouldn't have to have this conversation. I immediately put my coffee down on the counter and went to grab the dish washer detergent from under the sink.

"I feel I may have somewhat, ummm, thrown myself at you? Earlier?" she said biting her bottom lip nervously.

I stood up from finding the detergent quick enough to see her teeth bite down. My eyes lingered on her lips for a moment before I snapped my attention back to the dishwasher detergent I was trying to fill. "It's nothing Q, really. We're cool,"

She walked up closer to me, placing her cup down, taking the bottle from my hands and putting it on the counter. "I don't want you to think I'm that impatient after what we had talked about at the bar. It was just a lot of alcohol. And what can I say, you look damn good," she smiled as she caressed my forearm.

I smiled back. "Is this right now just the residual alcohol or-"

"Nope," she said making a popping noise with her lips. God her lips looked so soft and smooth.

"Okay, anyway, sorry. It's very easy to distract me , we're really okay. I just… As amazing as our drunken night at Schuester's wedding was, if this is a second chance I'd like to have an actual shot." I said looking down at how our hands had somehow found each other.

We both immediately took a step back and Quinn cleared her throat. "Umm, definitely. I just don't want you to feel pressured."

"Thank you," I said as I turned the light off in the kitchen. "We should get to bed. It's almost five in the morning,"

"Oh shit really? I haven't stayed up this late in quite a while," she said looking out toward the balcony. "I wonder what the sunrise looks like,"

She stood watching the window still. It had been a while since I stayed up for a sunrise. Before I knew it, I was in my bedroom grabbing blankets and pillows. I walked back out and Quinn simply stared at me with an amused expression on her face.

"Don't just stand there with that adorable expression, help me bring these to the roof!" I said in a whisper so as not to wake up the other four.

She quickly grabbed a blanket and pillow. I briefly put the other blanket and pillow I was holding down so that I could prepare a thermos with more coffee. I opened up the window and led her out to the balcony, only to head up the stairs to the roof. The view on the roof really was the best. It overlooked many of the skyscrapers and the Brooklyn bridge. I laid out the comforter on the ground and tossed both pillows at the top.

"You don't have class or anything in the morning?" She asked as I lied down on the comforter.

I shook my head. "I'm in my final semester, all I've got left is one lab that's only once a week. Now are you gonna lay down and share that blanket? It's a little chilly,"

She quickly sat down and I handed her a freshly brewed cup of coffee. We still had a good 20 minutes before the sunrise would start so I just sipped my coffee.

"Thanks for doing this," she said as she sipped her coffee and wrapped herself further up into the blanket.

I reached over my head and put an arm around her to pull her closer to me, "Strictly because I can feel you shivering under the blanket. Don't be getting dirty thoughts in that pretty blonde head of yours,"

She shot me a look of disbelief, "Oh please, coming from Santana Lopez?"

"I'm not the one who tried to come on to you tonight," I teased as I further pulled her closer.

"True, but this whole cute and romantic 'watching the sunrise on a whim' was all you,"

"Again, you sparked the idea looking out the window all longingly. I had no choice but to oblige," I smiled. With how close she was I could smell her shampoo, and it smelled likeshea and almond butter. It filled my body with warmth and butterflies.

And then I was like a deer in head lights. This immense fear washed over me. It was so surreal I almost wanted to laugh. But then I just sat and looked toward the sunrise. I could feel myself loosening up my hold on her. In those beautiful sunrays beaming from the deep dark night sky, I saw the red of Chloe's hair. It's incredibly cheesy of me, but I could see her in everything around me. I saw her eyes in the blue shine of the skyscrapers all over New York. But all of these things are intangible. I saw her in things I could not obtain.

And then I looked down into my arms and see Quinn Fabray. Her incredible smile. Those warm hazel eyes. Her soft it lessens the pain of Chloe's death. I can finally admit that's what's keeping us apart. Chloe is gone, forever. She died. And the overwhelming heart ache is dulled somewhat. I feel like I can breathe and that I can make it, all because of this wonderful blonde young woman from my life many years ago.

I can breathe again. I feel myself healing. At first I felt this overwhelming sense of guilt. I couldn't believe what was happening. For so long I isolated myself from these types of situations because I couldn't bring myself to accept that I would never see her again. If I connected with anyone on the same level, it would mean she meant less. And that I no longer needed her.

Except now, I know how unrealistic that is. I was incredibly lucky to have met a person like Chloe in my life. She is irreplaceable and unforgettable. But she wasn't my only shot at happiness.

There is someone who's been in my life from since I could remember. We drove each other bat shit crazy, and she comforted me in the most intimate way when I experienced true heart break for the first time. She literally has seen me at my best and worst. And we still want find ourselves drawn to each other.

And so now that I sit here cuddling with this girl, I'm taking my first steps to saying goodbye to Chloe. I'm loosening my grip. I'm starting to let her go.

"Oh my gosh that's beautiful!" Quinn exclaimed from my left. I turned back to the sunrise and smiled.

Quinn and I sat up there for another hour, just cuddling and drinking our coffee, watching the sunrise and the New York busybodies that were up bright and early.

There were several people jogging or biking, many in suits with their thermos or coffee cups in their hands, a few walk of shames, and food cart vendors wheeling out their carts and taking their spots on street corners.

The city was waking up from what seemed like a sleep that never really happened. And all I wanted to do was be a part of it. I was so tired of allowing myself to keep my life on pause, on hold. I've learned that it's unfair to me, and the incredible support system I have, to watch me just stay stagnant. There are so many things I want to do in this world, and keeping myselfisolated from everyone wasn't going to get me anywhere.

By now the sun was shining brightly and when I looked down to Quinn, she was fast asleep in my arms, her coffee cup to her chin and her mouth slightly open. She looked so content. I gave her a kiss on her forehead and then shook her awake.

"Quinn? Quinn? Sunrise is over. It has risen," I whispered into her ear.

"Hmmm? Oh, sorry I guess I must have dozed off." She said stretching.

"Ready to go inside? Then you can go back to sleep," I assured her.

She nodded and gathered up the blankets and pillows heading back into my apartment. Everyone was still asleep of course, it was just the way we had left it. Quinn put a blanket and pillow on the love seat and sat down.

"What are you doing?" I asked her.

"Oh, I thought I was sleeping here tonight, or this morning," she chuckled.

I walked over to her and grabbed her hands in mine, pulling her up off the couch. "There's a bed and a futon in my room. You can take the bed, it's much more comfortable.

"San, I couldn't, it's really okay," she kept saying.

"I know you're not trying to pressure me. And trust me, I'm feeling much better about this. I just want to take my time and do this right. So will you please go sleep comfortably in my bed?" I insisted. Somehow my arms had found their way around her waist.

She smiled and nodded, grabbing her blanket and pillow and heading off into my room. For the first time in years, my future looked as bright as the sunrise. And I couldn't wait to live it.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Hello awesome fantabulous readers! First, I want to give a shout out to some regular reviewers quinntana4evah, Quinntana2, momo0424, Dixie84, Lookin for the truth,boringsiot, OTHangels, dayabieberxo, and lastly but never least, my wonderful girlfriend. You guys make writing this so much fun, and I wouldn't be able to write and come up with such great stuff if it weren't for my girlfriend. You're a big inspiration :]**

**Anyway, now that the barf worthy stuff is out of the way, hope everyone really likes this chapter! You're getting two flashbacks and a surprise treat at the end. Please keep reviewing, favoritingand following, it really motivates me to update as quickly as I already do. Leave any and all feedback, concerns, etc that you guys happen to have. I'm all for constructive criticism and stuff. Enjoy!**

Life lately had been unexpectedly great. Puck, Quinn, Rachel, Kurt and I have been regularly hanging out since karaoke night a couple weeks ago. If not all of us were together, it was pretty usual for us to hit one or two until someone was able to go out. Quinn and I made morning coffee our thing. Whenever we were both free we'd just go grab coffee, exchange light flirting and hugs. It was driving me crazy. I had wanted to ask her out on a proper date ever since she and I stayed up to watch the sunrise.

But when I woke up that day after finally going to bed, it was from another dream of Chloe. And when I looked around to see if Quinn was still there, she had already left. Puck said she was called in for a meeting at the last minute and left in a bit of a hurry. It'd be a lie to say I was disappointed to wake up and not see her sleeping in my bed, but I was also relieved because the dream I had was pretty intense.

_It was the night of my first date with Chloe. We met up to grab coffee a block down from the dorms. I couldn't believe the butterflies in my stomach. Never in my life had I ever been that nervous. Not when I tried out for the Cheerios my sophomore year and Coach Sylvester said I was sloppier than a new born piglet in mud for the first time. Not when I performed at Nationals for the Cheerios or Glee Club. Not when I left Kentucky or Lima and moved to New York all by myself._

_But that night, as I stood on that street corner waiting for Chloe, my stomach felt ready to explode of butterflies. I leaned against the light pole, my hands in the pockets of my leather jacket. Was I too early? We were supposed to meet at 8:00, so I left at like 7:50, so no way I was too early. Oh shit, I had become one of those girls that obsessed over a date just minutes before. I checked my watch one last time and when I looked up, Chloe was walking down the street. She had straightened her red hair and was wearing a pair of skinny jeans, and a blue halter top and black flats. She didn't have purse, she never had a purse actually. She told me the night we met that hated purses and only carried a clutch._

"_Hey, how are you?" She asked giving me a kiss on the cheek._

"_I'm good, and you?"_

"_Good, starving, so wanna_ _skip coffee and go straight for dinner?" she asked with a huge smile._

"_Sure, there's a burger joint just a ten minutes away," I said as we made our way toward the subway._

_We talked about our classes at CCNY, it turned out we had the same English professor. We were both still taking pre-requisites and core academic classes, so our professors overlapped. She had recently gotten a job at the YMCA doing an after school arts and crafts program with kids. _

"_Oh, are you really good with kids?" I asked. I had never been good with kids. If they were younger than like thirteen or fourteen then I just didn't have the patience._

"_I love kids, I used to babysit a lot in Lewisburg, and I have a little sister. She's three years younger than me, but whenever my dad was stuck at the bar working, I'd be the one to look after her," she said with a smile on her face. She was always smiling, it was something that I had immediately liked and would later love about her._

_We told each other about our upbringing, what our hometowns were like. I told her about my dad being a doctor and my mombeing an accountant. We were better off than most in Lima, mostly because my parents refused to move into an upper class neighborhood. They wanted to make sure I understood there were differences in class in society, but that I shouldn't treat anyone differently because of that. Their lesson didn't really settle in until I had graduated high school and finally shed my bitch persona. She told me what it was growing up as the barkeeper's daughter. How her father noticed she had an eye for art from a young age, something that her mother was inherently good at as well. Ever since he made sure she was able to express herself artistically in any way she wanted._

"_I wish the arts had that much support in Lima. Glee club some days would be such hell," I told her, somewhat jealous that her gifts and talents were nurtured, while ours were laughed at._

_I told her what it was like to grow up in such a small conservative town. How often we were all bullied for enjoying singing cover songs of all things. It had been months by then that I hadn't kept in contact with anyone. But I spoke of everyone as if it were just yesterday. _

"_Do you still see anyone from New Directions? I mean, you keep in contact with Kurt and Rachel since they're out here right?" she assumed. _

_I stood up when I noticed it was our stop. "Not so much actually, it's just that we're all so busy. Rachel's totally 100% focused on becoming Miss Broadway,_ _and Kurt's snagged a really good internship in fashion and going to NYADA as well. I came to New York to find my own path, it's no big,"_

_We got to the burger place and continued just getting to know each other. From there we walked to the movie theatre, only for about 15 minutes into the movie we grew so bored and annoyed that we wound up walking out. At that moment, I realized I didn't care about anything else in the world. Chloe was my entire world that night. Her laugh, her scent, the way she worded her sentences and constructed her thoughts. The way she spoke, the cadence and pauses, everything._ _I was crazy about her. _

_We walked around New York for two hours and stopped at a place for coffee some time in between. _

"_What was your favorite song to perform?" She asked me._

_I thought back on it, but nothing made me happier than when I got that solo at Regionals_ _my junior year. "When Mr. Schuester had me do a solo for the first time. I got to sing Valerie, the Amy Winehouse_ _version, and it was one of the greatest moments in the world. A year before we had gotten that far and lost, and that year we won."_

"_You think you were the reason," she insinuated._

_I bit my lip and then answered, "No, I know I did. I killed that song. No one could touch this hot piece," _

_She laughed at me and sat back in her chair. "You're so ridiculous, so modest," she teased._

"_Oh that's just me, Queen of Modesty," I feigned a bashful look and chuckled. _

_It was one of the best dates I had ever had. From that moment on I knew I wanted to see this girl. I wanted to see her all the time. She was able to give me shit_ _back and tease_ _me. She saw more than just my bitchy and overly confident remarks. She was someone worthwhile._

When I woke up, I wasn't anxious or in fear. I felt more elegiac than anything. A bittersweet nostalgia. I was taking steps forward to something brighter than what I've surrounded myself with for the past three years. I knew I had to ask Quinn out on a date.

When the dream ended, I didn't feel depressed or heartbroken like every other dream I awoke from. I felt ready. Ever since the previous night, I was done lingering in the past. I would never forget it, and it will always be a part of me, but I was done trying to maintain the same thing when there was nothing left to maintain.

Quinn was the first woman I ever felt butterflies around since Chloe. Her smile brightened me up as soon as the corners of her mouth would start to turn upward. Her laugh was infectious, it sounded like sweet music to my ears. I needed to ask her out. This was my shot at something I thought would only be onenight, and I couldn't count on a second longer. It could be a second too late.

It was a Saturday morning in March, and I was waiting for Quinn at our coffee shop. I had my headphones in my head and a note book out, tapping out rhythms with a pen. Whenever I had a down moment I picked out bits of songs and took notes of them to later reference if I couldn't come up with a song that matched off the top of my head. I looked up and saw Quinn take a seat in front of me with her coffee in hand.

"When did you walk in? I didn't even see you come through the door," I said as I took my headphones off.

"You were too busy studying up on your mixes. I didn't want to interrupt," she smiled and took a sip of her coffee.

"Sorry, I get kind of absorbed in it when I get into that mind frame," I said wrapping my headphones around my iPod and putting it in my bag, along with my notebook. "So what's on your agenda today?"

"I have a meeting with a couple investors for an iPad ad pitch that's about to get approved. It's going to be such a snooze fest, but it shouldn't take too long. Everyone's assuring me that it's a sure thing," she said with a shrug of her shoulders.

I eyed her suspiciously. She actually looked kind of nervous, the way she wouldn't look me in the eye, or kept brushing it off like it was nothing. "Why don't you sound more excited?"

She paused and bit her lip. God-damn it. "Well it's my first pitch that I threw to them. And I'm just nervous because I have been working on this pitch for weeks and hadn't fully finished it yet, but one of the executives of the marketing board saw it and thought it was already perfect to go,"

I nodded and then sat back in my chair. "You're worried they'll think it's under-developed,"

"Exactly! And they're already investing a LOT of money into me, and I feel like I'm being expected to deliver a classic campaign so quickly," she added with a sigh. "It's just work stuff, but I'm sure I'll be less nervous once it's all over."

Before I could stop myself, the words were already leaving my lips. "Well, regardless if it gets approved or not, we should celebrate your success with dinner and drinks tonight. Let me take you out,"

It was out there. I just asked her out. And there were three seconds before she answered. Each second felt like an hour and I could feel my body and lungs freeze up. Please say yes, please say yes.

"You want to take me out?" She asked, now it being her turn to eye me suspiciously.

I nodded.

"Like on a date?" Quinn asked.

"For god's sake yes," I exhaled a breath that I felt like I was holding on to for hours.

She smiled and grabbed my hand. "I'd love to,"

I felt a big smile grow across my lips and squeezed her hand back. "Great, then I'll come by your place tonight around 8pm?"

"8 o'clock sounds perfect," she smiled back. The rest of our coffee meet consisted of us smiling like idiots and catching up about how work and school was going, Puck's latest adventures in New York, and how Mercedes is coming up on date number 4 with the guy from the karaoke bar.

On my way home from the coffee shop, I had this incredibly buzz growing in the pit of my stomach. The feeling never relented and I couldn't help but just smile at the feeling. Things finally felt like they were going to be okay again. Puzzle pieces were falling into place, and I was no longer scared of life without Chloe.

When I got home, I went straight to my turn tables and computer. The creativity was overflowing, and I couldn't help but capture it. I opened up my final mix and started it over.

"If somebody said it was a happy little tale. Somebody lied. But let me assure you, this like any other story worth telling, is all about a girl. That girl," Peter Parker said as I matched it with Stevie Wonder's My Cherie Amour and some DJ scratches. The song brought me back to when Quinn and I met up for coffee since she first moved to New York.

"My Cherie amour, pretty little one that I adore. You're the only girl that my heart beats for, how I wish that you were mine. "

The lyrics matched what I think I had always felt about Quinn ever since our night together. I refused to believe that I actually liked her in that sense, but she was always in my thoughts, from ever since I could remember. If I wasn't trying to sabotage her as part of my bitch persona, then I was looking to my right and seeing her as part of the Unholy Trinity that was Brittany, her and I. I added a sample of Clipse's Grindin and some extra DJ scratches. I let the song play out, just Stevie Wonder's soulful words of desire and want. I added another sample from Clipseduring the second verse, until I faded into Greg Abbot's Shake You Down.

I let the song just play, no samples included, just the original song have its own voice until the chorus when I blended the instrumental from Common's The Light. Greg Abbot started his spoken part and I let Common's chorus play behind him. I faded fully back into Greg Abbot before segueing into a bass and drum sample of the hip hop production group The Neptunesand bringing in some Dennis Edwards with his song Don't Look Any Further. The last two songs were just cheesy R&B tracks that always reminded me of that night Quinn and I spent together. That night was filled with flirting and revelatory stares. I knew it was reciprocated, because I had never seen her look at someone with a more elated face, than that night she and I drank and danced the night away.

I segued into Kiss of Life by Sade. I always felt that Sade was perfect make out music, and the song just reminded me of when Quinn and I finally closed the hotel room door, many drinks later and she kissed me against the door.

"I swear the whole world could feel my heartbeat. When I lay eyes on you, you wrapped me up in the color of love," Sade sang, and my heart soared. I still remember the feel of her lips on mine, and the fireworks that were occurring inside of me. If you had asked me afterwards, I would have just blamed all the booze we managed to get from our fake I.D.'s, but really I knew that all along, Quinn was always on my mind.

I blended Sade with the same Neptunes sample from earlier. As I let the track fade out, I faded in Janet Jackson's Let's Wait Awhile. Quinn was so nervous that night. As we continued making out, she wasn't sure where to put her hands, it felt like she was lost once she had started to kiss me.

"_Do you want to move to the bed?" I asked her huskily. But then I opened up my eyes and saw her nerves. "We don't have to do this if you don't want to. If you're not comfortable-"_

"_No, it's_ _okay, I've just never been with a girl, so you'll need to let me know what to do," she said biting down on her lip. _

_I smiled and kissed her lightly on the lips. "Of course, just let me know if you feel uncomfortable,"_

As the track played on, I mixed it with a sample from P. Diddy'sI Need A Girl Pt. 2, and other hip hop and reggae tracks.

I thought back more on to what transpired between Quinn and me that night, and how at times her voice would quiver with nerves, and so I would try to comfort her as much as possible. If this was going to be her first time with a girl, then I had to make it right. I needed to make it as special as possible.

_Of all the intimate experiences I shared with people, I always had my guard up. But with Quinn, seeing her so vulnerable and bare, I couldn't help but let my walls down as well. She trustedme with this experience, whether it meant she liked women or not, the least I could do was even the playing field and make her comfortable as possible._

_After we kissed for what felt like hours, Quinn reached for the zipper of my dress. I pulled away and looked her intently in the eyes. _

__"_Are you sure?" I asked. She nodded and sat up with me, pulling down the zipper. _

_She turned around so that I could unzip her dress as well. I scooted off the bed and let my dress fall to my feet. When I looked back over to Quinn, her dress was already on the ground and she was under the covers of the hotel bed. The smile in her eyes was impossible to miss even with half her face covered by the sheets. She looked me up and down and giggled. _

_I smiled back at her as I made my way under the sheets as well. I lifted the covers so as to see her, and god was she beautiful. Her ivory skin had an opalescent glow to it, and she had such subtle wondrous curves. The way her neck curved gracefully to her shoulders and collarbone, my eyes reached down to the perfect roundness of her breasts, and the stunning pink shade of her areolas. I licked my lips,_ _all I could think about was kissing and tasting her._

"_You're gorgeous," I whispered as I scooted in closer to her._

"_Will you just take it slow?" she asked with apprehensive eyes._

"_I'll do whatever you're comfortable with," I assured her as I kissed her softly on the lips. _

_I laid on my side, one leg entangled in hers, pressing against her center. Her breath hitched at the contact, and I searched her eyes to make sure she was all right. She let out a small laugh and smiled. My hand found her neck as I continued to plant soft open mouthed kisses down her neck, to along her collarbone, and then back up to just behind her ears. I could feel her squirm beneath me as I applied light pressure with my leg. As she grew more comfortable, her hips began to rock with me._

_As I continued, I found my way down to her breasts and began to massage and kiss softly. I lied down on top of her, kissing and sucking her right breast and massaging the left. Shemoaned and I felt her hips grinding against me. _

_I can still remember how smoothly her hips grinded against my abdomen, it was amazing. I brought myself back up to kiss her. She broke the kiss and started kissing down my neck. I brought my head down and bit her shoulder lightly. I heard her breath hitch again._

"_Can I feel you inside me?" she exhaled into my ear._

_I smiled and kissed her on the lips, lying back down to my original position. I brought my full palm just over her core and lightly touched. She was incredibly wet. I slid a finger down each of her lower lips. She inhaled sharply, and exhaled slowly, chuckling at herself. _

_That sound was so sexy. I caressed her folds with one finger, circling and applying light pleasure to her bundle of nerves. I started to kiss her neck again and I could feel her trying to suppress her moans. _

"_Be as loud as you'd like," I whispered to her as I developed a rhythm. _

"_I want to feel you deeper," she moaned as she placed her hand over my occupied one and pressed deeper._

_I could feel her tighten around my one finger, her walls squeezed as I started to thrust slowly. Her hands found their way into my hair, grabbing my hair. Her back arched as my rhythm steadied and grew slightly faster. Just as I thought I felt her on the edge, I held my finger inside her, curling and circling. She moaned loudly, bending forward, closer to me and nibbling at my ear. _

_It was unbelievable this feeling. When I could feel her growing close again I started to slow down. _

"_Can I taste you?" I whispered huskily into her ear. _

_Her eyes connected with mine, she looked like she was in ecstasy. "I trust you,"_

_I kissed her on the lips one last time before kissing my way down her neck, down her chest to her abdomen. I sucked lightly at her side and then continued my way down to her hips. I kissed each side and positioned myself between her beautiful thighs. I licked each side of her walls, running my hands over her thighs and around to her butt. _

_Her breath hitched again at the contact, and I entered her with my tongue. She tasted wonderful. So sweet and perfect._ _I slid my tongue fully up and down her core, and I felt her shiver at the sensation._

"_Oh my god San, that feels so good," she moaned as she clutched a pillow in one hand and her other was entangled in my hair._

_I smiled against her warmth and began to lightly suck on her clit. Her hips buckled and her back arched as I continued. Swirling my tongue in circles over her clit, her breathing grew more and more rapid._

"_Santana, oh god, baby!" she cried as her body began to shudder at the contact. She grabbed a pillow and began to grind her hips against my mouth. As her movements grew more and more wild, I sucked as hard as I could until her entire body went limp. _

_A low guttural chuckle erupted from her lips as I wiped my mouth on the sheets and lied down at the foot of the bed. "So that's why college girls experiment."_

"_And thank God they do," I said with a huge grin._

"_I mean I had always wondered what it'd be like to be with a woman. But I don't know, I think it may be a one-time thing," she said with the sexy smile I had ever seen on her. She took a sip of her water bottle from the night stand._

"_You don't have to worry, I'm not going to show up at your house with a U-haul," I laughed and she chuckled, taking another drink._

"_So what happens next?" she asked lowering her water bottle from her mouth. _

_I smiled at her, she was glowing. "Well, you could walk out first," I searched her expression and while I know she said a 'one-time thing' her expression held a completely different sentiment, "Or we could make it a two-time thing?"_

_She gave me the sexiest grin, took one last sip of her water bottle, before setting it down and climbing on top of me._

I finished the first third of the mix and hit save. When I looked to the clock on the screen it was already 6:30.

"Shit! I gotta hurry up and get ready!" I muttered to myself jumping up from the computer chair and running to the bathroom.

**A/N pt. 2: Okay, so I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter, that was the first sexy times scene I've ever written so I hope it was up to your guys' standards :] The mix that Santana was working on is actually BitterSweet by DJ Neil Armstrong, my all time favorite DJ so be sure to check him out. **

**Here's the track listing for the first part of the mix that I listened to and used for this chapter. (The mix is divided up into chapters of the stages of falling in love)**

**Boy Meets Girl**

**1.**

**My Cherie Amour – Stevie Wonder**

**2.**

**Shake You Down – Greg Abbot**

**3.**

**Don't Look Any Further – Dennis Edwards**

**4.**

**Kiss of Life – Sade**

**Patiently Waiting**

**5.**

**Let's Wait A While – Janet Jackson**

**6.**

**Very Special – Debra Laws**

**7.**

**Lady In My Life – Michael Jackson**

**8.**

**Tenderoni – Bobby Brown**

**9.**

**Love's Holiday – Earth Wind & Fire**

**10.**

**Sweet Thing – Rufus & Chaka Khan**

**11.**

**Don't Go – En Vogue**


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Hello readers! I'm so sorry this took forever to get out. It was Oscars week (yay Jennifer Lawrence!) and a lot of stuff was going down at work, so I was finally able to get some stuff written yesterday and today. Again, thank you to everyone who's been following, reading, reviewing,favoriting and all that jazz. It means the world to me, truly. I feel I've been really good to you guys the last couple chapters, so this one's a bit more substantial. Another reason it took so long to get out was that it was extremely hard for me to write and you'll see why. Please let me know what you think, and I apologize in advance if this chapter offends anyone who is dealing with mental health issues. I tried my best to research and be as accurate as possible. And with that, enjoy the chapter guys, hopefully it won't be 8 days until I'm able to post the next one. :]

* * *

It was 7:30 by the time I had finished getting ready. I straightened my hair and wore a mid thigh length tight red dress with a leather jacket and black high heel boots. I looked hot, if I do say so myself. I grabbed my lip gloss and a few necessities and tossed them in my purse. My nerves were raging all over my body. I was finally going on a date with Quinn Fabray. Never in my wildest craziest dreams did I ever think life would have led me to this point.

I walked out of the bathroom and saw Puck strumming his guitar and bouncing his knee to keep rhythm. As soon as he saw me fully out of the bathroom he stopped and cat-called to me.

"Ow-ow! Lopez! Damn you clean up good," he said with his signature Puckerman smirk.

"As if you didn't already know Puckerman," I winked at him as I smoothed out my dress. "What do you think? Good enough for Quinn?"

"Pfft, she'd be crazy not to maul you on the spot," he said putting his pick in the guitar strings and laying it down on the couch. "Have fun tonight, okay? You deserve it,"

Puck had really been one of the greatest persons I could ever ask to have in my life. He was a pervert and crude, but once he loved you like family that love was completely unconditional. His support for the people he cared about was unwavering.

"Okay, well I'm off. Our reservations are at 8:30, so I can't really afford to be late," I said.

He nodded and I waved goodbye to him as I stepped out of the apartment and made my way down the steps and to the busy New York streets. For the first time in a while, I left my iPod at the apartment. I couldn't remember the last time I left home without it, but something told me that tonight I wouldn't need to block out all of the city's buzz. I wouldn't want to, Quinn would be by my side to muffle it away.

I sat on the subway, and noticed a lot of eyes on me. Damn, I guess I really do look good. I smirked to myself. My confidence was soaring. Finally, something about me felt familiar.

I arrived at Quinn's apartment building and made my way up to her door. My fist rapped the door three times before I heard some bustling about on the other side.

"Come in!" I heard her call out.

Turning the door handle, I walked inside the apartment. She had two leather couches and a black chest that served as the coffee table. Against the wall hung a 48" plasma TV and two cherry wood book shelves, one on either side of the TV.

"Hey! I didn't think I was early-"

"Hey!" She replied coming down the stairs from the second story. She was wearing a strapless blue striped knee length dress. The blues, creams, and pale yellows made her hazel green eyes pop like no other. I felt my voice become trapped in my throat at the sight of her. "This isn't too casual, is it?" her smile beamed across the room.

"Ahem, sorry. No not at all. You look beautiful," I stammered as my eyes wandered to every inch and curve of her body. "How'd the meeting go?"

"My pitch was approved! We get started on the first stages of the ad content on Monday, but I don't want to think about work tonight. Let's just have fun," she said in the sweetest voice as she grabbed a small white sweater to put over her shoulders.

"I couldn't agree more," I said as we made our way to the door and down to the city, where we would begin our first date.

"Oh my god, this place is so good," Quinn said as she took another bite of her yakisoba.

I smiled as her expression grew more and more elated as she tasted all of the flavors in her dish. "Well good, I still need to take you to all of the best eats around here,"

I took her to a Japanese stir-fry/grill to start the evening off. We drank some sake and edamame as we waited for our main course.

"So how's the club doing?" Quinn asked in between bites and sips of her water.

"It's going good, Kori keeps getting offers to open another club actually near NYU, but she's already so swamped with Le Poisson that she's unsure," I said taking a bite of my Vegas roll and a sip of my moscato. "Okay, well, there's one thing that's kind of exciting."

"Please, go on," Quinn smiled as she sipped on her cabernet and put her chop sticks down.

"Teddy Robinson, a manager for one of the best PR firms in New York spotted me one night when he was scouting. He's interested in trying to get me a job touring with J. Cole." I said taking a larger sip of my moscato.

"Wait, as in that guy who did that song 'Work Out'?" Quinn asked, her eyes growing larger as the thought hit her.

"Yeah! He's looking for a touring DJ for his tour coming up in the fall. They're still trying to plan it since he's still doing press stuff in preparation for his new album, but they're interested in getting me to audition. It works out kind of perfectly since I'll be done with school in about two months," I said trying to hide my enthusiasm.

Quinn saw through me though, and playfully slapped my arm. "Stop hiding and just be excited, that's awesome news!"

Her smile brought out mine and I chuckled to myself. "Okay, it is pretty fucking awesome,"

Quinn raised her hand and our server was at our table within seconds, "Can we get two shots of sake, please?" He nodded and left. "This calls for more celebrating,"

I bit my lip and laughed. Our eyes met and I couldn't stop smiling at her. I reached my hand over to hers and squeezed. "I'm really happy we're doing this,"

She smiled and squeezed my hand back, "Me too,"

The server brought our shots and we raised them up. "To two hokey girls from Lima taking over New York," Quinn added.

"New York, and then next stage the world," we clinked our glasses and downed the shots.

The rest of dinner was filled with laughter and a buzzing feeling. If it wasn't the alcohol, then it must have been that Quinn looked so good I couldn't control the butterfly feeling that was moving from my stomach to all over my body.

Around 10:30 we decided to finally close out the check and take a walk around the city. Four shots and two glasses of wine and we were both pretty tipsy. When the check arrived, Quinn kept insisting we split it.

"No! I told you I was paying tonight!" I exclaimed trying to grab the check from her.

"There are 12 drinks on this bill! No way am I letting you pay all of it!" Quinn added. Before she could see the total, I snatched the bill from her hands, put my card inside and handed it to the nearest server.

"Done and done. Now that wasn't so hard, was it?" I said with a smirk. She playfully pouted and then sighed. "You've got some red cheeks there Fabray, feeling okay?"

"Pfft, just fine, but it is pretty toasty in here," she remarked removing her white sweater to reveal her smooth and soft cream colored shoulders.

In my mind, I was biting my fist because I could still remember what it was like to bite, nibble and kiss those shoulders. And then my eyes caught her neck and I took one last sip of my wine. The server came back with the check, and I left a twenty down for his tip.

It's amazing how quickly a perfect night could take a turn for the absolute worst in the blink of an eye. We grabbed our jackets and bags and made our way to the exit doors. My hand found Quinn's and we entangled our fingers together, smiling like those romantic saps we made fun of all those years ago. I was lost on her gaze when I felt myself bump into someone.

"Oh I'm so so-" And for the second time in the night my voice was trapped in my throat when I was met with the same bright blue eyes from three years ago.

"Santana?" she said. I couldn't believe of all the nights to run into her, it would this night, at this exact moment.

"Santana? Who is this?" Quinn said with a smile.

"I'm Erin, Chloe's younger sister," she said with a smile.

Chloe and her younger sister could pass as identical twins. After all of our drinks, my head was spinning and everything was out of wack.

"How've you been?" Erin turned to ask me.

I swallowed the huge lump in my throat. I hadn't seen her since before Chloe had passed away. "Umm, good. You?"

I just wanted to run. My fight or flight senses had kicked in and everything was screaming to run.

"I've been good, well I don't want to keep you. But you know,we're holding a vigil for Chloe in two weeks over at the campus. You should come," she said handing me a flyer from her purse. "Hope to see you there Santana, it would mean a lot to the family to see you,"

Chloe turned back to head inside to the restaurant and I just nodded and turned back toward the exit, walking as quickly as I could. I hadn't even checked to see if Quinn was beside me but then I heard her calling out to me.

"Santana! Wait!" she said as I finally stopped and sat down on a bench a good half block away from the restaurant. I ran my fingers through my hair and felt my breath start to quicken. I couldn't tell if it was all the drinks or what, but the alcohol was definitely not helping. "Santana, is everything okay?"

I looked up and could feel the tears springing to my eyes. I blinked them away before answering. "Umm, well, that was Chloe's little sister,"

"Yeah, are you all right? I've never seen you-"

"I'm sorry, I just. I-" I wasn't sure how to tell her. She knew, Quinn was tipsy, but she wasn't stupid.

"A vigil? What happened to Chloe, San?" She asked sitting down beside me and placing her hand on my shoulder.

I took a deep breath. It was either now or never. I couldn't back out of it after we just ran into Erin. I turned to Quinn and wiped my tears away, trying to gather my bearings as much as possible. "They're holding a vigil, because Chloe committed suicide almost three years ago. I was the one who found her,"

Before I could say anymore, we were back at Quinn's apartment, and this time she was handing me a glass of water with sugar. I stared at the glass and saw the ripples my hands were causing. I was shaking with nerves, but not the same kind from earlier that evening.

"You don't have to tell me what happened. If it's too much or-"

I shook my head after taking a gulp of the water. "If we're going to be involved, then this is something you should know. Just, it may take me a while to get everything out, so all I ask is your patience. Cool?"

"Cool." Quinn said with a nod and I took in a deep breath.

_After my first date with Chloe, everything else just felt so easy. We never fought, we had very similar beliefs, we challenged each other to be the best that we could possibly be. We were never compelled to always text or call or be in constant contact with each other. It felt like we were just two free-spirits who managed to connect, but we understood the consequences if we ever tried to keep each other tied down. _

_About three months into the relationship though, I started to notice Chloe's emotions and behaviors happened like twists and turns of a rollercoaster. One week she'd be incredibly happy and elated. The next she was so focused on saving or helping a cause because it was detrimental to society. I honestly couldn't tell you the reasons she spat off to me for whatever her behavior was. I was too blind to recognize the oddness of it all. _

_Then one day she went missing. Our friends and I went out looking for her everywhere. We must have been out until three in the morning until I finally got a call from her._

_"Chloe? Where the hell are you!? We've been all over the city looking for you for like seven hours!" I said into the phone as I paced back and forth. _

_"I'm back home with my dad and sister. Don't freak out when I tell you this, okay?" she said in a very serious tone._

_"Okay, what's up, is everything okay?" I asked sitting down on the pavement._

_Chloe was bi-polar. They had just changed her medication three weeks prior and it usually takes about two months for the new medication to fully start taking effect. This was her first manic episode in almost a year. She kept trying to apologize to me for not telling me sooner and for everything that she must have put me through. All I told her was that I was happy she was safe and that this was something we could work on. I managed to catch a plane to West Virginia and met Chloe's family. They were incredibly sweet people, and they had no qualms about me and Chloe's relationship. Her little sister was very logical and analytical like her dad, while Chloe took more after her mother. At least her father told me this. But when you looked at the two sisters, both resembled their mother._

_Once the medication had kicked in, everything seemed to go back to normal. She continued going through therapy and maintaining a lifestyle that helped keep everything balanced. Any spats or whatever happened between us from then on were just caused by miscommunication. _

_During the last month of the relationship though, things were at their worst. Her father could no longer afford the medication she was on, and so she was prescribed something else more affordable. Chloe became harder and harder to get in contact with. Her moods grew more erratic. Some days I would make a sarcastic comment and she'd look at me with the meanest and cruelest glare I'd ever seen. Usually this was followed by two or three days without contact, and then I would go to her apartment after her room mates would call me full of concern. When I'd get to her room, she would just be sitting in her bed, tucked into her covers._

_"Baby, it's like 3 o'clock!" I would say with a smile as I sat by her side. "Are you ready to get up?"_

_She would sigh and then finally turn to me. "Everything just hurts. Thinking about everyone out there, everything that happens to everyone. It's all just so overwhelming,"_

_When she said things like this, I wouldn't know how to respond. Back in Lima I would just call everyone out, not caring if I hurt their feelings, but this was Chloe. I couldn't do that with her, but what was I supposed to do instead? My silence during these cries of hers killed me._

_"Can't we just stay in bed all day?" she would ask burying her face into her pillow. One minute she was incredibly distressed by all of the world's troubles and tribulations, and the next she was smiling adorably at me. _

_My patience was wearing thin, and all I wanted to do was grab her by her shoulders and shake and scream at her. 'What did you do with my girlfriend!?' But I knew better than that at least._

_"If we stay in bed all day, we can't go get Pho though, don't you want Pho?" I laid on the sweetness in my tones, trying to cover up my worry. She would just make herself more comfortable in her bed until I lied down with her, holding her as she retreated back into her thoughts._

_Then two weeks went, and her odd behaviors were less and less frequent. Everything was turning up and Chloe was there. My girlfriend was back and I was just so happy to see her again. She was bubbly and smiling. She remembered things I would say and tell her, conversations we had. She was engaged whenever we were together. Maybe, just maybe the new medication had finally kicked in, maybe they would work just as well as the last._

_Spring break had arrived, and on the third day in we were supposed to go to lunch. But I hadn't seen or heard from Chloe since Spring Break began. Her room mates had all gone home or vacation, so she was staying at the apartment by herself. I asked if she had wanted me to stay with her since I was staying in New York over the break, but she said she'd be okay. Chloe gave me a key to her apartment so I thought I'd go check on her. Knowing her, she probably just took a nap and her alarm hadn't wakened her up yet._

_When I arrived at her complex, her car was still parked in her spot. I climbed the stairs, turned the lock, and opened the door. "Chloe? You here baby?" I called out._

_Nothing. All that answered me was the hum of the refrigerator. I walked down the short hall way and knocked on her door._

_"Baby?" I called out from behind the door. Still nothing._

_I turned the door handle and pushed to open the door, but it didn't budge._

_"Baby!" my tone was immediately full of concern._

_I put my whole weight behind a final push and I heard a loud thud. I pushed the door further open and walked into the room. My hands covered my mouth as a loud gasp and shriek escaped from my throat when I saw Chloe lying on the ground. Her eyes still open but no longer full of life. Her body was limp and her skin no longer the warm cream color I had fallen in love with. It was now pale, almost wax like. My eyes finally worked their way up to her body where there was a leather belt tightened around her neck._

_And suddenly I thought that belt was tightened around my neck. I inhaled and inhaled and inhaled but no oxygen filled my lungs. My body quaked with fear and dread._

_No. No._

_This could not be happening. There was no way this could be happening. I broke through my temporary paralysis and lunged at her body, undoing the belt around her neck, this neck, this neck that I had kissed and caressed hundreds of thousands of times. And here it was, not resembling anything like the one I knew and loved for the past two and a half years._

_I pulled her head to my chest and cradled her. "God no, please, please. Baby wake up, please. Jesus fucking Christ, please just wake up! Why did you do this!?" I cried. _

_The words echoed and bounced in the silence. When she didn't answer, I finally noticed how cold she was. It slammed into me like a freight train charging full speed ahead, ready to run off the tracks. _

_She was dead._

_Chloe was dead._

_She killed herself._

_And then I blacked out._

_What I remember next was sitting in the back of an ambulance with a blanket over my shoulders. Puck sat beside me, his arms wrapped around me. I was still crying. I must have been crying even while I had blacked out. I looked up and saw the paramedics wheeling a gurney and black body bag out. I brushed the blanket off my shoulders and sprinted toward the gurney._

_"No! No! She isn't! That's not Chloe! Don't tell me that's her! Please God!" I screamed as I tried to reach out to her, but then strong arms wrapped around me, keeping me where I was._

_"Santana, please. Santana, you have to stop," Puck said against my hair as he held on to me._

_"Let go of me! Stop! It's not Chloe! It's not her!" I screamed even louder. I fought against his hold with everything I had, but he just tightened his grip until the gravity of it all finally weighed down on me. My muscles went slack and I crumpled to the pavement, my tears and cries now uncontrollable._

_"I'm so sorry, it's her Santana. It's Chloe, I'm so sorry," he repeated. I swear I heard his voice cracking. He was trying to fight reality too._

_Later on in the days that followed, Puck told me I had called him to meet me at Chloe's, that she had hurt herself. When he got to her room, I was sitting on the opposite wall hugging my knees to my chest, sobbing and shaking. He immediately called 911. When the paramedics arrived, I wasn't cooperating, so Puck and another paramedic brought me downstairs as I fought against them so that they could do their job. Once I was in the ambulance it seemed like I had finally calmed down, but instead I had just gone catatonic._

_No suicide note was found._

_Four or five days later the funeral was held. I couldn't bring myself to go. I denied the truth that she had killed herself. I kept saying there was no funeral. When Puck came back, my mother was with him. He had called her two days prior and she flew in as soon as she could. She stayed with us for three months. After the first month, I still hadn't admitted to Chloe being dead. It was then that my mom took me to a therapist. After a few sessions, my therapist thought it would be best to have me attend a grief counseling group._

_I couldn't accept what had happened until two weeks into the group sessions. I continued going to therapy for another year, throwing myself into music and work to keep distracted. I only let myself think about her during therapy. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to function._

_I stopped talking to all our friends from school. They all tried to reach out to me, but whenever they had gotten in contact withme, I turned into a raging bitch when I saw their looks of pity. The only person I wanted to talk to was gone. Puck was the one person who didn't treat me any different. He always pointed out when I forgot to do something, or when I was being unusually withdrawn._

_The first year was the hardest. The second, was easier. I kept my routine of school, music and work. Every now and then Puck would take me out to a bar. I hooked up here and there, but none of it excited me. None of it pleased me really. It was more or less just me giving the girl what she wanted. None of them had anything I wanted, they couldn't offer me anything. I would only compare it to everything they were not._

"Santana, I had-" Quinn started to say as I finished.

"I made it a point not to let anyone know. I didn't want anyone to have even the slightest clue about it. But there's something you need to know." She stayed quiet as I continued. "I was without any semblance of life, until Tina and Mike's engagement party. For the first time in two years, I found myself interested in what other people had to offer. I was interested in you. Something about you that night sparked what I had only assumed been a fire long ago put out."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Okay, so this is literally the shortest chapter I will ever post. It's more of a transition chapter since I'm still trying to figure out where to go now that the cat's out of the bag haha. Thanks again to everyone who's stuck with me this long through the story. I'm really happy to see that everyone's enjoyed everything I've come up with, if it weren't for my awesome girlfriend, a lot of the really good stuff wouldn't be half as good as it is. I promise to have more Quinntana next chapter, but this one's got some cute and sweet stuff in it. I'm happy to hear that the last chapter was well-received, I worked incredibly hard on it and it was one of the most emotionally draining chapters I've ever written. Thanks again to my readers, reviewers, followers and even visitors. You guys make writing this a blast. I promise this will be the shortest chapter, I'm a little disappointed that I didn't write more, but I'll try and add an extra page or two to the next one.

* * *

Quinn grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into her. She held my head in her hand as my whole body started to shake against hers. The images wouldn't leave my mind. I could see Chloe's smile, hear her laugh and smell her only to be brought back to reality. I would be brought back to the sight of her lifeless body on the hardwood floor of her bedroom, her blank emotionless eyes, no longer holding the same brightness as they once had.

And I cried. I truly broke down my walls and let out everything I held inside for the last two almost three years. Quinn tightened her hold on me, never wavering. "I'm so sorry, Santana. I wish I knew something else to say,"

I pulled away from her and she brought me to her room. She sat me down on the bed before grabbing some sweatpants and a large t-shirt from her drawers. She set them down beside me and knelt in front of me. "Sleep here tonight. I won't try anything I promise, I just don't think you should sleep alone."

I nodded and took the clothes to the bathroom to change. I looked at myself in the mirror and saw a face I hadn't seen since three years ago. A young woman so broken and sad, full of fear. When I started therapy I swore I would never be that woman again. I couldn't ever be that woman if I never wanted to live through that again. I splashed some water on my face and started to wipe and wash off my make up from earlier that evening. Whatever was still left of it at least.

When I went back to Quinn's room, she was grabbing a blanket and pillow from her closet. "You can take the bed tonight, I'll sleep downstairs on the couch."

As she made her way to the door I grabbed her wrist. "Please don't." I looked up at her feeling weaker than I had in a while. "I just really don't want to be alone,"

She nodded and closed the door behind her. Walking over to the bed, I lied down and pulled the blanket over me and lying on my side. Quinn turned off the lights and got in bed shortly after me. I tried to close my eyes, but I was worried I would only see and dream of Chloe. I bit my lip and sighed, hating that I would have to go tonight without sleep, until I felt warm hands and arms wrap around my stomach and pull me closer. Thighs, knees and calves touching the backs of mine.

"It's okay. I'm right here," Quinn whispered.

I closed my eyes and felt at peace. I couldn't live in this fear anymore. When I closed my eyes, I was met with just the darks of my eye lids, and not the images that plagued me for so long.

The next morning when I woke up, Quinn wasn't by my side. I rubbed my eyes and stretched my limbs before getting out of bed. My bare toes were met with soft carpet, and I made my way downstairs. My eyes cast downward, carefully stepping down each unfamiliar step. When I looked up, Quinn was in the kitchen and finally I noticed the amazing aromas wafting around. Vanilla, cinnamon, butter and bacon.

"Good morning," I said from the kitchen entry way.

She turned around and smiled at me, "Oh! You're up! How do you like your eggs?"

"Scrambled is good," I said walking further into the kitchen.

"Salt, pepper?" She asked as she cracked a couple eggs into a bowl.

"Both are great." I said, watching as she maneuvered around the kitchen like a pro.

I looked to my left and saw a plate stacked with French toast, sausage and bacon. This woman was going to make me gain ten pounds, but every day spent at the gym losing it would be worth it.

"Don't just stand there, grab a plate and help yourself, silly," She said as she stirred up the eggs, being careful not to burn them.

"Since when did you learn how to cook, Fabray?" I asked as I munched on a piece of bacon.

"When I finally got sick of the food at Yale. Just because it's an ivy league school doesn't mean the food gets stale after awhile," she said as she scraped the eggs onto my plate. "Orange juice or coffee?"

"Coffee would be fantastic," I added as I grabbed a plate for her food. "How many French toast, bacon and sausage do you want?"

"Two each. Actually, make it three bacon," she said as she poured the coffee into two mugs. "Cream? Sugar?"

"One of each," I added as I made my way to the table with both plates.

Quinn followed with both cups of coffee, sitting across from me. I pushed my eggs around my plate, rolling the sausage with my knife and just staring anywhere but at Quinn. What on earth could I say after the night that we just had? Was there any way possible to not talk about Chloe? I braved a glance her way and she just continued cutting her French toast into pieces, sipping her coffee in between bites.

"You going to eat those eggs or just magically wish them into your stomach?" she asked mid chew. The action seemed completely unlike her, but when I looked up she had a smirk on her face and washed down the rest of her bite with coffee.

"Sorry. This is just, ridic awkward, don't you think?" I said taking a bite of my bacon.

Quinn sipped her coffee and then took a bite of her eggs. "Having breakfast? It's the most important meal of the day, don't know what you're talking about," she said matter of factly.

"Oh c'mon. Cut the crap, you know what I'm talking about," I said with another bite of bacon.

Quinn put her fork down and took another sip of coffee. "You mean last night? I mean, it is a little weird that's how we ended our first date, but I knew it was coming sooner or later,"

I narrowed my eyes on her, "What do you mean you knew it was coming?" Did she talk with Puck behind my back?

"I just mean the truth about Chloe. I had no idea what happened, honest. But I knew one of these days whether after or before our first date it was going to come out into the open somehow." She said as she took another bite of her French toast.

I looked back down to my food and took a bite as well. "I'm sorry it all happened the way it did. I didn't want you to hear about it like that."

Quinn reached over and grabbed my hand, "Hey, look at me, all right?" she said gently squeezing my hand. "You've got nothing to be ashamed of here. What happened is incredibly tragic, and I'm sorry you had to live through it. No one should ever have to go through that. But thank you for sharing it with me last night. You're so closed off and secure with your thoughts and emotions, that I was half expecting you to run." I took a sip of my coffee out of nervousness. "But you stayed, and you opened up. That says a lot,"

I bit my lip, "So you're not freaked out with my ridiculous amount of baggage?"

Quinn smiled and squeezed my hand, "We're okay. Really. Now eat your breakfast before it goes completely cold,"

We finished up breakfast, and after I helped her clean the dishes, it was time for me to head back to my place. I thanked her again for being so great about the night before, and for the amazing breakfast. I never thought that Quinn would take the story so well. She was very understanding about the whole thing, I promised myself that I would make it up to her one day.

"So, before the unfortunate drama, I had a lot of fun last night," I said on my way to her front door.

"Me too, probably one of the best dates I've had in a while," she added leaning against the door, one hand on the handle.

"Let me make it up to you," I told her leaning in closer to her. "I take it you still really like to dance?"

She smiled and bit her lip. "You would be correct in that assumption,"

"There's an underground Girl Talk show that's happening one week from today. Kori knows the location, she promised she would tell me the day of so that I could go. You do know who Girl Talk is, right?" I asked with a knowing look.

"Of course I know who Girl Talk is . . ." she trailed off looking down, "Yeah sorry, not a clue,"

"We'll fix that tomorrow during coffee, but he's an incredible DJ and I think we'd have a lot of fun," I told her, subtly placing my hand in hers, rubbing her hand with my thumb.

"I'm in, I'll see you tomorrow," She said as she opened the door. I kissed her on the cheek and gave her a hug before I was off to catch the subway back to my place.

On the ride home, I couldn't believe just how amazing Quinn handled the whole situation. She didn't prod me questions or look at me like I was some insane girl. She comforted me, she made sure I was okay. Quinn didn't think twice about allowing me to stay the night, and she didn't try to take advantage of the situation. She handled it with grace and maturity, and it only made my feelings for her grow even more. When I arrived back at the apartment, Puck was already up and hounding me about where I was all night and how come I didn't call.

"Dude, since when did you decide to be all fatherly?" I asked as I put my purse down on the coffee table and sat on the couch.

"Since I got a call from Erin this morning saying she ran into you and Quinn last night," he said sternly with his arms crossed over his shoulders. "Did you at least get some?"

"Seriously bro? You get a call from Erin, I don't come home, and you ask if I had sex last night? Is that all you think about?" I narrowed my eyes on him.

"I'm a 24-year old male of course that's all I think about," he said with a smirk.

I scoffed at him, "No, I didn't sleep with Quinn. I told her about Chloe."

His expression immediately changed and then he sat down on the chair next to the couch. "Dude! You're not supposed to dump all your shit on the first date!"

"Dude! She met Erin and heard about the vigil! It's not like I was able to avoid it!"

"You make a good point. How'd it go?" he asked sitting back in the chair.

I relaxed in the couch and grabbed one of the pillows to hug. "All right, I guess. I mean, I felt awkward this morning, but she was really great about it," I felt a smile start to tug on my lips. "She took it really well actually. She didn't make it out to be a big deal at all."

Puck smiled, rose from his spot and squeezed my shoulder. "That's awesome, bro. I told you that you had nothing to be freaked about!"

"Well it's not like it's the easiest thing to tell people!" I added as he came back with a bottle of water.

"No, but don't act like you don't know how Quinn feels about you. She's had a hard on for you since Mike and Tina's party,"

"Ugh, ew Puckerman." I grimaced at his word choice.

"I tell it like it is Lopez, but everyone sees how you guys look at each other. You guys aren't a secret," Puck took a drink from his water and then sat back down. "Anyway, Erin called me about the vigil,"

"Right, what'd she say?" I didn't exactly welcome the subject change, but there must have been a reason for her to call aside from inviting him to the vigil.

"Just the necessary details, when and where it's going to be held, but they want the people closest to her to speak-"

"No."

"Santana, let me finish-"

"I said no, Puck. I am not going to speak at her vigil. It was three years ago, if they wanted people to talk then it should have been at her funeral-"

"Hey! If I remember correctly, you didn't go. You haven't even visited her grave. This is your chance to say goodbye," Puck said over me.

He was right though. I never allowed myself to say goodbye to her. Every year on the anniversary of her death, Puck would visit her grave and leave a stone on the marker. It was a Jewish tradition he held on to in order to express his condolences. I couldn't even bring myself to visit her resting place. I was always too scared to visit her. Would I completely lose it and go back to my worst days? Would I snap and just go back to being as weak as I was the day I found her?

"Stop being a coward and let her go. You've already made it so far, this is your chance to close that door. You know it's what she would have wanted," Puck added as he took another drink from his water bottle.

"We'll see. I won't say yes or no, I need to think on it some more," I explained as I stood up from the couch. "I'm going to shower and take a nap. I've got work later tonight,"

He nodded as I headed to the bathroom. I started the bath and leaned against the bathroom counter as the water flowed into the tub. Did I have it in me to open up so publically about Chloe? Could I speak to people about everything she meant to me? It wasn't a question the effect she had on me. She changed me for the better. The young girl she met evolved into an independent young woman in the two years that we shared together. She showed me what it meant to be sensitive but strong to people and their lives. She taught me what it meant not to take anything for granted.

The bath filled up and I lowered myself into the warm water. All my muscles relaxed in the warmth and I exhaled a long breath I hadn't realized I was holding. My thoughts wandered to her father, her sister, our friends that I had just written off because I was too scared to face any of them. All of them had tried to reach out to me, but I wouldn't allow it. Closing myself off, I didn't realize that maybe they weren't just trying to help me, but maybe they needed my help as well. I knew I needed to face them all again, it was the only way for us all to move on.

But if I was going to participate in this, the only way I would properly be able to express everything would be through music. It was a good thing I still had two weeks before I would have to decide on what I was going to do.


	10. Chapter 10

Hello readers! Long time without an update, I'm sorry about that. I've been trying to write this without any internet or computer, so that's why it took so long. I felt I needed to post something though, even though it still isn't much. My chapters maybe shorter due to writing this on my phone, but I'll try my best not to let the quality suffer. Thanks for reading. I really appreciate it :)

-Amanda

* * *

A few days later I was spinning at the club. I hadn't thought too much on what I was going to do about Chloe's vigil. Mostly I resorted back to what I usually did whenever things were overwhelming. Music, work, school. I spent the first hour with straight dance tracks for the crowd, and finally decided to slow it down and take a short break with Justin Timberlake's Pusher Love Girl.

As the night continued, I noticed a middle aged man in slacks and a button up sticking out in the back like a sore thumb. Once the lights eased up a little, I was able to recognize him from a couple weeks prior. He was the scout trying to find a DJ for J. Cole. Grinning to myself I decided to flex my DJing skills a little for the rest of the set. Starting off slow with an old school remix of The Temptations' Just My Imagination. It helped to allow the crowd and all the love birds to relax and grow close. Because once I was done I would be sending them into a rhythmic frenzy. As the light notes faded, I cross faded an Ellie Goulding remix I came up with. The beat started to build, and I looked to the lighting booth and electrician working it as he cued the lights with the music I played.

My eyes wandered over the crowd and I saw everyone moving as if they were in slow motion. The lights and the beat felt as if time had slowed. I looked towards the back where I saw the scout with a smirk across his face. My vision panned to the left and I saw Quinn sitting at the bar with Puck and Rachel. I had no idea all of them were coming tonight.

The energy felt right. The atmosphere was alive and buzzing and I only had 8 minutes left for my first set. I crossfaded the chorus of Macklemore's Can't Hold Us and scratched in the drums and hand claps of the track as Ellie Goulding faded out. The room started to pound as I felt everyone's movements. Glancing up I saw Puck lead Rachel and Quinn to the dance floor. During the drum and shout break down I began to add a vocal sample from Bruno Mars's Locked Out of Heaven. I added an extra drum and bass beat and turned up the treble and bass to get the punch I needed. Looking up one last time to the back of the room the scout had a big smile on his face. He pulled out his phone and began to type away on the screen. My eyes instantly found Quinn, she and Rachel were dancing but in two seconds she looked up to me and grinned, biting her lip and locking my gaze. It took every inch in me to keep myself behind that booth until my set was over. All I wanted was to be dancing the night away with her. Only two more days until I would be. I couldn't wait for first date redux.

Once I finished the first set, I thanked the crowd and raised my beer in the air. Everyone cheered, I set my head phones down and made my way out of the booth. I was wrapped in Quinn's arms before I could even look up from the steps. I wrapped my arms around her waist and kissed her on the cheek.

"That last mix was incredible! My heart is still racing!" she exclaimed with wide eyes and a beaming smile. She grabbed my hand and placed it over her heart.

If it wasn't already so hot in the club, the blush on my cheeks would have probably been noticeable. I smiled and chuckled "I think that means you need some water, Q."

"Please! I've only had one ginger and whiskey. I'm fine," she said. Neither of us had realized we were still in a hug until we saw Rachel and Puck making their way over to us.

"Dude! Killer set! Kori's and the other servers were rushed right after your set!" Puck shouted. Santana looked over and saw most of the crowd heading towards the bar.

"That's nuts! And that scout from Columbia records is here!" I added nodding over to the back where he was currently talking on his phone.

"How long until your next set?" Rachel asked.

"Oh, there's another DJ who's doing a set for an hour, so I've got some time." Santana looked to her right and saw that the scout had hung up his phone and was making his way across the club. "Oh shit! The scout's on the move and coming this way!"

Rachel and Puck quickly tried to get back to the bar. Quinn grabbed Santana's hand and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Good luck,"

"Thank you," I smiled as she turned to follow

I glanced downward and felt a wave of anxiety rush through my body. There is a man in a suit with connections coming toward me after I just mixed records for my life. When I looked back up he was a couple steps away from me and extending his hand out for a shake.

"DJ Slaptonez? I'm Derek Stanley. We met a few weeks ago? I would like to discuss a possible professional opportunity for you. Care to have a drink with me out on the patio?" he asked with a huge grin.

"Of course! There's a quiet spot over here," I said as I began to lead him outside. I caught Kori's eye and motioned for a drink and she nodded.

When we got outside I motioned toward an empty table. We both sat down and Kori had quickly arrived at the table. Immediately taking down our drinks she disappeared. Derek pulled out a pack of Nat Sherman's and offered me one. I accepted and pulled out a zippo to light the cigarette and then offered the flame to Derek.

"How long have you been mixing for?" he asked. He took a long drag from his cigarette.

"Ummm, probably at least four years now. I've been doing shows for only a year though."

"That's pretty impressive." he exhaled and was the first to notice Kori arrived with our drinks. "Thank you," he said after taking a sip.

"Thanks Kor," I told her as I took a sip myself. Kori nodded and smiled, knowing that she had more things to tend to.

"I'm a blunt, straightforward person. And I would like to give you the opportunity to audition for the DJ spot on J. Cole's tour. There are two others also auditioning for the position. But I think you have a refreshing style about you that people will relate to,"

"Wow, really?!" I heard my voice squeak at the end and I immediately took a gulp from my drink. "That's really fucking awesome!"

He chuckled and then handed me his card. "The audition will be at Jay-Z's studio. I wrote the address on the back of the card. It's at 4 o'clock a week from tomorrow. Hope to see you there," he finished his drink and then patted me on my shoulder. Rising from the chair he adjusted his jacket, smiled and walked away.

The small business card in my hand suddenly seemed to be the most valuable thing in the world. This was my chance. This was my door into the industry that I've been working so hard for. I felt my lips pull and a smile spread across my face. I looked up and saw Quinn, Rachel and Puck sitting at the outside bar. I stuffed the card into my bra and walked towards them.

"Dude! That was quick! How'd it go?" Puck asked.

"He wants me to audition next week for the spot!" I exclaimed as the bartender brought me a whiskey sour.

"What?! That's incredible! You're going right?!" Rachel yelled over the music. She shot me a knowing look and I smiled.

"Its a huge opportunity. And it's just an audition so what do I really have to lose, right?" I added taking another drink from my glass.

"No, there is no room for thinking like that. You gotta waltz into that studio and own that room. Just let your sexy Latina self shine and you'll get it," Quinn commented with a wink.

"Q's right! You just gotta bust in and take no prisoners. Make it known you aren't leaving without that job!" Puck shouted throwing his cup in the air. "To DJ Slaptonez!"

"Here here!" we all clinked glasses and took a drink.

The next morning I was sitting at me and Quinn's usual booth at the cafe with my sunglasses on and a beanie. After I broke the news to everyone about my audition, Kori sent over a round of shots just about every hour. And we were slamming drinks once my second set was done. Kori even opened up a bottle of her specially reserved whiskey and brought us to the back room to celebrate.

"Kori, I haven't even gotten the job yet," I said as she handed me a shot glass.

"Girl, did I ever tell you what I thought of you the first time I saw you on that stage spinning? Not your first show, but when you thought no one was looking or listening," Kori said as she continued to pour shots for Rachel, Puck and Quinn.

"Oh god, don't make me cry. I can't have mascara lines right now!" Rachel exclaimed. Her face was bright red and her speech slurred.

"I think after this shot, man-hands is officially cut off," I teased as she helped hand out the shots.

"Anyway, you had been working for me for about a year already, and the bar was closed for inventory. We were taking an hour lunch break and I was out picking up the take out we ordered. When I walked back in, Santana was standing on the stage mixing Blackstreet's No Diggity with Kanye West's Flashing Lights."

"I was inspired by Girltalk," I added with a shrug of my shoulders.

"You weren't just some shy girl, outside of her comfort zone though,"

"Okay, has Santana ever been that girl though?!" Puck nearly shouted as he held his shot up in the air.

"What I'm trying to say, you drunk assholes," everyone laughed, "is that Santana, you belong on stage. In front of a booth, behind one, you and the stage are meant for each other. If for some inexplicable reason you don't get this spot, it's only the stepping stone girl. To Santana!"

"To Santana!" everyone followed.

After that shot, everything went blurry. Which explains why I didn't realize Quinn had arrived until she was snapping her fingers in front of my face.

"Santana, Santana!" Quinn nearly shouted.

"Oh my god, not so loud..." I hissed at her pulling my hood over my beanie.

"Awww, is San a little hung over?" Quinn teased as she pulled my hood further down over my face.

I playfully swatted her hand away and sunk into my seat, "I should have had more water. I don't remember much of anything after that shot with Kori,"

Quinn chuckled and looked down. "If you're wondering if you did anything embarrassing, then don't worry. Rachel managed to pull enough shenanigans for the four of us,"

"Oh God, what'd she do?" I asked taking a sip from my coffee.

"Well, she may have jumped on the bar and tried to re-enact some scenes from Coyote Ugly," Quinn bit her lip trying to suppress her laughter.

"No way! Did any tabloids get wind of it?"

"Oh no, this was just a few minutes before last call when everyone started clearing out. But I'm sure Rachel's nursing a much worse hang over than you,"

I smiled and finally pulled off my hoodie and sunglasses. "What are you doing today?"

"Nothing really, it's my day off."

"What would you say to a marathon of How I Met Your Mother, and the greasiest pizza in New York?"

"Mmmm, why would we want the greasiest pizza?"

"Because it's the only thing to help me get rid of this hang over,"

Before I knew it, we were riding the subway back to my apartment for an all day occasion of cuddling and junk food. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt like doing this. Usually I was always so focused on the next big thing, I never let myself just slow down and enjoy the little things.

But things were changing. Ever since Chloe, I always felt like I needed to maximize every moment of my life to make up for hers. I took it upon myself to live enough for the both of us. It wasn't until recently that I realized how damaging that could be. Quinn, without doing anything at all, has shown me how happy one can be living solely for one's self.

Looking over to her on the subway, I placed my hand over hers and squeezed. She smiled at me and scooted a little closer, resting her head on my shoulder.

"Don't get too comfortable now, our stop is coming up," I whispered to her. Just then the subway slowed to a stop, and Quinn raised her head from my shoulder.

As we walked up the steps to my apartment, she asked "Have you thought about what you're going to say or anything at Chloe's vigil?"

I opened the door and we both walked in "Honestly? No, not really. Any mix I try and do doesn't work, I've tried writing out lyrics and music, nada."

"I'm sure it'll come to you when the time is right. You still have at least 2 weeks right?"

"Yeah, still two weeks away," I said grabbing the HIMYM box set and popping disc one into the DVD player.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: hello again! This chapter didn't take as long to write. Glad I was able to get something out a little quicker. Again, I'm sorry about the length, I'll try and work on that next time. Please continue to review and follow and favorite. It really means a lot to me :)

Enjoy!

Amanda

* * *

The day had arrived. My second chance at a first date with Quinn. We're going to a Girl Talk show, so there was no reason to dress up. Comfortable shoes for the night, jeans and a tee shirt or tank would be the best choice for the evening. Maybe a light sweater? Anyway, everything about the night's plans screamed "perfect! No way to screw this up!", and yet I was more nervous than I've ever been.

I double checked my outfit, hair and make up in the mirror, nothing wrong there. I definitely liked Quinn, more than like really. And we both liked to dance and listen to good music. There was no reason to be nervous. Also, I've known this girl since we were 15 years old, she's seen me at my most maniacal and self-serving times, and yet we don't hate each other.

"Santana, breathe. You're Santana Lopez. You're the hottest chica in town. No one can hold a candle to you. You've got this," I said to myself in the mirror.

I nodded to myself in the mirror before grabbing my wallet, menthol cigarettes, and a lighter. Grabbing my key, I left the apartment and walked toward the subway down to Quinn's apartment. The ten minute ride to her apartment felt like 30. Ever since I asked her for a second first date, my mind has not stopped thinking about this night.

When I looked up and out the windows, I noticed we were starting to slow down. I let out a nervous breath as we finally stopped, and I stood up to leave. Walking up to her building, and up to the second floor, I knocked on her front door.

Quinn answered a few seconds later, and she was wearing flip flops and a skirt. She looked so adorable but I couldn't help but chuckle at her.

She bit her lip and sighed, "This isn't okay for tonight, is it? I knew I should have called and asked,"

"You look great! But it's a general admission show. We're going to be pretty tightly packed in." I added.

"Ahhh right, so we should be super casual. Well come in, and give me just like 5 more minutes," and she was off to her room as soon as she closed the door.

I laughed and sat down on her couch. Before I knew it she was back in tight jeans, a pair of converse, and a white slim fitted v-neck. She looked so cute. Her curves were on display for sure.

"Ready?" she asked as she slipped her ID and some cash in her pocket. She grabbed her key from the desk drawer as I stood up.

"All set," I said as we made our way out of the apartment. "You look so cute right now,"

She smiled and placed some of her hair behind her ear. "Thank you, have I told you how sexy you look tonight?"

I grabbed her hand and we smiled like idiots. Nothing to be worried about.

I didn't notice until we were finally at the venue that we hadn't let go of the other's hand. I smiled to myself and noticed one of our Thursday night bouncers, Mike, at the front. Holding her hand slightly tighter, we crossed the street over to the venue.

"Santana! What's up girl?" Mike greeted as we walked up to him.

"Not much, how are you, Mike?" I asked, giving him a kiss on the cheek.

"Awesome! Did Kori tell you about tonight?"

"Yeah, will you be able to get us in?" I asked.

"Pffft, please. You know, I got you," he laughed as he unlocked the door he was standing in front of and let us in. "Go up the stairs and over to the elevator up to the 3rd floor. Go to B5."

"What? I thought this was General Admission?" I was suddenly confused.

"Floors are ridiculously packed. Plus, this was the section separated for Kori."

"All right, so 3rd floor room B5,"

"Yep. Have fun ladies," he said as he closed the door behind us.

"How many connections does Kori have?" Quinn asked as we walked up the stairs.

"Surprisingly, just being a club owner makes her super connected." I opened the door and I immediately saw the elevator down the hall and to the left.

Once inside the elevator, I think we both realized we were finally in an enclosed space. And alone. My hand found hers and my other found her wrist. Leaving some space between us, I grinned as I looked her up and down.

"You look gorgeous. Really," I said pulling her into a hug.

I felt her smile against my neck and the laughter in her lungs. The elevator bell rang at our floor, and we pulled away from each other. We rounded the corner and my eyes scanned for B5. Quinn stopped and pulled me back from walking any further.

"Found it!" she said as she opened the door. When we walked in there was a full bar set up for mixing our own drinks, couches and a pool table. Straight ahead was a dead center view of the stage about 3 stories higher than the GA seats.

"Damn, Kori always has the best hook ups," I said as I took in everything around us.

Quinn went straight to the bar and was checking all the supplies. "So can I make you a drink?"

"Mmmm, how about a mojito?" I asked.

Quinn spotted the white rum and lime juice mixing in 4 parts of rum and 3 parts lime juice. She looked inside one of the coolers and surprisingly found mint. Sprinkling sugar over the rum and lime juice, she added some sugar to the mint sprig before adding it. Pouring in some club soda, she added an extra splash of Bacardi on top.

I took a sip of the glass she handed me and was incredibly surprised. "Holy shit Fabray! That is one damn good mojito!"

"Why always the tone of surprise?" she said with an incredibly sexy gaze as she started making herself a drink as well.

"Ummm, because you went to Yale and yet just made me one of the best mojitos I've ever had." I took another sip of my drink. "Don't tell Kori I just said that."

She laughed and took a sip of her drink. "I was part of a sorority, and in order to raise money for some uppity cause, we got the idea to run a bar for an evening. So this bar near campus gave us two weeks of lessons in tending bar."

"Quinn Fabray. You've become quite the bad ass since high school," I said in a low tone.

She quirked her eyebrow at me as she took a sip of her drink. Bringing the glass down she shot me another seductive grin. "And my years of besting you in high school weren't proof enough?"

Two can play this game. "Please, I was and still am the hottest piece that ever walked the halls of McKinley."

She took a step closer to me, looking me up and down. "If you can keep a secret,

after Schuester's wedding, I can attest that you are more than that."

Her tone was so cool and electrifying at the same time. I rinsed the lump in my throat down with a sip of my drink as I looked up to meet her eyes. Now more than ever was I remembering that night. The feel of her skin, the warmth. Something about all of it felt right.

"You almost make me want to skip this concert, Fabray," it was like a switch had flipped in that elevator. I couldn't care less about seeing this DJ now. All I wanted was to get as close as possible to Quinn.

"Almost?" she teased with another sip of her drink.

I chuckled and threw my head back. "What ever you're trying to do to me, it's working." I whispered in her ear. I walked over to the pool table and set my drink down on one of the empty tables.

It was my turn to show off a little bit tonight. I grabbed a 19 oz pool stick and one of the cue chalks. "Wanna play?"

"I haven't played pool since I was grounded in middle school and stuck at my house."

"Really now?"

"Yeah, we didn't have any video game systems or anything. So I would play pool in my dad's study. But that was like ten years ago,"

I glanced her way and saw her fingers grazing the edge of the table. "I'm taking that as a yes to my earlier question. Come pick your pool cue,"

She smiled and grabbed an 18 oz. I handed her the chalk and started racking up the pool balls.

"You can break," she added as she leaned on her pool stick.

I shrugged, "Well, if I must," I positioned the cue ball to its perfect spot and took my aim. With one final attempt, I took my shot and with a loud crack the solid and striped set separated all over the table. The striped 12 managed to make it into the left corner pocket.

"Very nice, very nice," Quinn said with a silly accent.

"Oh, sahnk you!" I replied with a similarly silly accent.

The 10 was in a perfect spot. All I needed to do was hit the right side of the ball softly and it'd be mine.

"Not too hard. Don't wanna mess it up," Quinn commented with a sly grin.

"Are you shit talking right now?" I asked as I took aim. "I've perfect control over that." taking my shot the ten ball slowly rolled right into the pocket. "But you already know that,"

She smacked my shoulder as I only mischievously grinned and took a sip of my drink. I wasn't so lucky with the next one. I left myself without a single open shot. Aiming for the 13, I tried to bank the ball but failed miserably.

"We all miss in the end," Quinn joked with a hand on my shoulder. She spotted her shot and let her hand slide down my arm. Damn her concentration face was sexy. She bit her lip and slightly narrowed her gaze on the 2. She must have kept in shape because her arms looked amazing holding the pool cue. I just about pinched myself trying not to get caught staring.

She took her shot and sank it. "Enjoy the view?" she smirked.

"Absolutely," I smiled. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer to me. She still smelled as sweet as always. My eyes lingered from between her thighs, up her stomach to between her chest and finally meeting her hazel eyes. I brushed some of her hair behind her ear as we inched closer.

As the crowd roared, our lips met for the first time in five years. The first time since that night our first year in college. As we pulled apart, our eyes immediately met again and I broke into the widest smile.

I grabbed my drink and hers. Handing Quinn her drink, I said "To many more nights like these?"

"Is that how you're asking me to be your girlfriend?"

"Yeah, I guess you could say that," I joked with a smile.

"To many more nights like these," she repeated. We clanked our glasses and drank, only for immediately after to kiss again.

I looked to the stage and saw Girl Talk was starting to spin. The date had barely begun, but things already were better than I ever could have imagined.

The rest of the night we spent dancing and making each other drinks. Every now and then we would go back to our game of pool when we were all danced out. There was nothing more I could have asked for out of tonight. Thinking back to how nervous I was before, I can only laugh because nothing has ever been so easy before. I only wonder why now? Why is it just now that I'm seeing Quinn in this light?

Once the concert let out, we took a detour to the best late night Chinese food place. "So now I've gotta ask. Am I your first girlfriend?"

Quinn took a sip of her tea before answering, "No actually. There was a girl I met actually on the last day of classes freshman year."

"Yeah? Tell me about her," I said taking a bite of chow mein.

"Well, she was short, like shorter than Rachel,"

"No shit!"

"Yeah! She was pre-law, brilliant. But a bit too into her image. Like, I think she saw me as a potential trophy wife to her dream of being a lawyer. But that was definitely not the life I wanted. Actually, once I left high school, I finally realized what I thought I wanted really wasn't what I wanted at all."

I finished my mouthful. "What is it that you want?"

Quinn sighed and looked out the window. "You know, I'm still not completely sure. I just want to enjoy life. Travel, see the world, experience everything."

"That sounds wonderful," I smiled.

"And you?" Quinn asked.

"Make music and make the most out of life," I added. We smiled again and then continued our late dinner.

I walked her back to her apartment, not without one last kiss. Walking back to the subway, I thought I was skipping. I couldn't believe I had finally gotten to this moment. Finally, I felt like I was truly alive and living again.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys, so I may be playing around with some POV's this chapter. Honestly I'm kind of stuck when it comes to moving Santana's story at the moment, and I'd really like to try and develop Quinn a bit more. Hope you enjoy!**

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**Quinn's POV**

It was 5am and my iHome sounded from the dresser strategically placed across from my bed. If it were on my bed side, hitting snooze would be far too easy. This required me to get up and therefore wake up. I wiped the sand from my eyes and flipped on the light in my bathroom. Santana and I were together. It was a thought that has been running through my head like a hamster on a wheel.

Santana Lopez.

Me, Quinn Fabray.

We were together. And I just can't seem to find the words to properly describe how that makes me feel. I'm not even really sure what possessed me to want to seek her out. All I knew from when I saw her at Mike and Tina's engagement party was that she was so beautiful. Something was telling me to just reconnect. Something about her intrigued me and from there I was like a fish trying to keep hold of the bait.

I'm not sure exactly when we both realized that this was more than just platonic. It could have been there all along. Maybe it was present back when we were on that football field, walking and ruling those McKinley High hallways, or constantly competing for the top spot. Either way, wherever I was trying to be the best, Santana was there matching me and therefore pushing me every step of the way.

Then something clicked and we decided to explore a new territory. We drank, we danced, we laughed. It was easily one of the best nights of my life. And lying beneath her, feeling her, everything, nothing ever felt more right and comfortable than in that hotel room.

Never did I forget about Santana though. She showed another side of herself that maybe only Brittany has ever seen. The Santana that I knew was abrasive, vulgar, uncensored and biting. The woman I spent an incredibly night and morning with, was anything but. She was tender, sweet, comforting and considerate. She was loving. Despite all of that, I doubted Santana wanted me in that way. So I moved on. She had as well, since she met Chloe only a few months after Schuester's wedding.

I did my morning run around the apartment building, down the block to the park and back again. Running past each tree, I was stuck in my thoughts of recounting how I came to be in this life. It wasn't until I met Nikki that I realized my feelings were more than just a phase. Nikki Ruiz, she was brilliant. When we met, she was hoping to become pre-law and we were in the same English 101 class.

She had her eye on me from the get-go. I'm not trying to be conceited, but it's not hard to feel when someone's eyes are on you as opposed to the lessons at hand. She approached me in a friendly manner and from there we quickly grew close. My stint with a professor put a bit of a strain on our friendship.

"_I can see what you're doing, you know," Nikki said as we sat back in the dorm room watching Imagine Me & You. _

"_I won't be able to concentrate on this movie you've been so dying to have me watch if you keep interrupting each scene." I added as I grabbed a handful of popcorn._

_Nikki grabbed the DVD remote and pressed pause, giving me a serious look. "Let's not be stupid okay, we both know what's going on here, and I know you know how I feel,"_

"_So we are going to talk about the elephant in the room," I muttered still eating the popcorn._

"_Yes. Because ever since last weekend when we got quite drunk and made out, you decided to jump the dusty bones of Professor Billson," Nikki was sitting on her shins with her back straight. All attention on me. _

_It was all I could do to keep my eyes averted from her gaze. "I was just drunk Nik. I'm sure you know all about the straight drunk girl syndrome,"_

"_Oh believe me, I do know about it. Our kiss, regardless of how many shots we had that night, was not about any drunken phenomena."_

_I bit my lip and grabbed the remote back from her. "Can we just get back to the movie please?"_

_I must have looked really distressed and cornered because Nikki relented. She sat back down and passed me a juice box. She was right. But I wasn't ready to deal with whatever repressed sexual urges I was feeling just yet. Least of all, with the person who had become the closest person to me since starting school. _

It was like everything had fallen into place. Distressed over what was happening with my friendship, and then discovering that I was not the only freshman that Professor Billson was spending "extra study time" with threw me for a rollercoaster. I was determined to endure this wedding and take advantage of the open bar with my fake ID. And Santana was there wanting the same thing out of the night as I did. For whatever reason, we were able to detract our claws and be there for each other.

I digress, but today I find myself what feels like light years away from that time. I'm in a relationship with Santana. And it feels greater than anything else. It's been about two weeks since our second first date. And I can feel the timer ticking away. With every good night and drop off, I try and try my hardest to just ask her to stay the night. My body has been begging and aching for another night like our first all those years ago. And yet, something is telling me to just wait. It's not just apparent in my eyes either; I can see the dark lust in Santana after we part. I just wish I could put my finger on what's stopping me from inviting her in.

After my run, I showered quickly and pulled out my usual knee length professional skirt and matching blouse for work. It takes me about forty-five minutes to finish getting ready and I grabbed a bagel from my kitchen before heading toward the subway stop. If it weren't for Santana, I probably would have never figured out how to use the subway system.

Finding a spot by one of the poles, I put my headphones in and listen to whatever new mix Santana has sent me. If I'm being completely honest, I have no idea what makes a good mix or anything. But Santana has been informing me. The mix she sent me is a DJ called Pretty Lights, kind of abstract stuff. But really interesting. It astounds me how Santana has had this talent within her this whole time and it took only until now to discover it. Well, until Chloe. I would never tell her, but sometimes I worry I just won't be able to compare to Chloe. She was this huge part of Santana's life and how can I hold a candle to the girl who was her first love?

In a way, I guess you could say the same about Nikki. Except Nikki and I had that chance to end naturally. Santana and Chloe did not. I can't let myself keep having these thoughts. They won't resort to anything but a lack of trust and confidence in me and the relationship I am in now. Subconsciously, maybe that's why I haven't invited Santana over for a night. Granted, it has only been about two weeks, but I don't want to fully jump into this until I know Santana has accepted and let go of Chloe.

Tomorrow is her vigil. I asked Santana if she wanted me there, but she said this was something she should do on her own. A sense of relief washed over me when she said that, it would have been incredibly awkward to be the new girlfriend at the ex girlfriend's vigil. More than that, I was happy that Santana was finally doing something to make progress with this part of her life.

I arrived at the office and greeted the receptionist at the front desk. "Good Morning Julie,"

"Good Morning Ms. Fabray, you have a couple of messages. I left them on your desk for you,"

"Thank you Julie. I really appreciate it," I said with a smile as I headed toward my fourth floor office. Part of me wonders how I was able to land such a job so quickly. It's an insecurity of mine, but a growing one at that.

Have I been handed everything on a silver platter, simply because of my father? My father, Russel Fabray may have disowned me privately, but for the sake of his business and reputation he made sure I went to Yale and graduated. It sickened me how much he would bend and twist to make sure the world of business and politics would accept him. Rather than being known as the business man who disowned his pregnant teenage daughter, he swept it under the rug and claimed that I had in fact merely gained weight.

We barely speak at all. The only time we exchange anything is a quarterly email that simply states where the other lives, our occupation and further plans. It hurts that all my father wants to know of me are the least important aspects. In the end though, if he stuck around and actually was a father to me, I would have struggled with myself even more. Anyway, Russell Fabray owns the Apollo Corporation. They're known for buying out smaller businesses and re-establishing them. They'll take small maybe seven digit companies and turn them into eight or nine.

Not only does my father own that company, it's also the best of its kind. It wouldn't be far out of the picture for my father to have influence over the advertising and marketing world. Sitting in my leather office chair, staring over my computer screen and out the large window that overlooks the skyline, my paranoia settles in.

_Does the potential of my father's influence over my future dictate whether or not I want this career?_

_Does my father's hand in my career make this whole journey worthless?_

I shake the thoughts out of my mind and continue looking at the expense report for the current marketing campaign I'm working on. What pulled me into this field were actual ads I'd be able to design and replicate. But now, I find that all anyone cares about are the audience I'm targeting, the final costs of running the ad and its accessibility.

_Would I actually back out of this if it turned out this wasn't what I wanted? Could I just turn down all the opportunities? Could I close that door if it's already been opened?_

My phone vibrates against my wooden desk and I see Santana's picture flash across the screen. And then there's Santana again. Breaking me out of all my endless mental cycles and bringing me back down to reality. But what reality is that? The one that society and my father has engrained in my psyche? Get a good education in a sensible major. Pick a sensible and stable career. Work in an office in a company where you can grow and move up. Because while all of that is second nature to me; my passion lies elsewhere.

I answer the phone before it hits voicemail. "Hey you, how are you?"

"I'm good, is it about time for lunch yet?" she asks. I glance at the clock on my computer screen and realize it's already 12:30pm. I've been at the office since 8am.

"Oh crap, I totally lost track of time. Our usual spot? My treat?" I offer. I could definitely use an iced coffee and a deli sandwich.

"Well, if you're paying how can I say no?" she teases. I can feel my smile grow from ear to ear.

"Perfect, meet you there in about 30 minutes?" I say grabbing my purse and office door keys.

"Sounds good, see you there beautiful," a flush of red hits my cheeks at the last word and my smile feels permanently stuck.

Locking up behind me, I place my headphones on and start my trek to the subway. Glimpses of the city flash before my eyes as I stare out the windows. And suddenly it's like every glimpse that flashes becomes a still picture. It clicks in me that I haven't touched my camera since Tina and Mike's party.

The subway comes to a stop and I realize it's my turn to exit. Stepping out of the car, I look up and see Santana already there waiting for me. I smile and wrap my arms around her neck as she snakes her arms around my waist. We pull away and I give her a kiss before we head toward the café hand in hand.

The way the sun highlights all the natural browns in her hair and makes her sun glisten, I can't believe I never noticed it before. "So what have you been up to today?"

"I put the final touches on the mix I'm going to perform for the audition. And I finally finished the speech for Chloe's vigil tomorrow," Santana adds as her head tilts back down to avert my eyes.

I squeeze her hand and smile, "Are you nervous for tomorrow?"

She scoffs and looks to me with a look of disbelief, "You're really asking that? Of course! I haven't seen most of these people in three years! They were all my friends and practically family. I don't know how I'm going to face them."

I stop her in the middle of the sidewalk and take both her hands in mine. "You're going to be Santana fucking Lopez and face them and be honest. You're the bravest woman I've ever met. You chose to be yourself in high school after seeing what people did to Kurt, and you did it without putting up with anyone's shit."

"This is a bit different than that though,"

"Regardless Santana. If these people were your friends, family even. They'll understand, they'll know that you needed to deal with this on your own. Hell, maybe you'll be able to reconnect. Just like you did with everyone from Lima," I place a kiss on her forehead and her cheek. "You're so incredibly strong. Don't ever doubt that,"

She flashes me her gorgeous smile and pulls me forward to the café. "You really know how to make a girl feel great, you know?"

I shrug and smirk at her, "I wasn't always this naturally charming,"

She laughs and holds the door open for me as we enter the café.

Resisting her was getting harder and harder. Especially right now when we're in this perfect stage of just support and love and everything seems fluffy. We're waiting for our lunch to arrive when Santana's eyes light up and she grabs her iPod from her back pocket.

"Oh! I wanted to show you what I'm going to play at the audition," she says as she unwraps her headphones and hands them to me. I place them in my ears and hear the familiar tones of Foster the People's Pumped Up Kicks.

"Don't say anything until you've finished it," she says as she sits back.

A woman's voice starts in, Ellie Goulding, and I realize it's Under the Sheets. It amazes me how perfect and seamless the two tracks go together. I can feel my body involuntarily moving to the music, and I see Santana smile at me.

"So far so good," I comment and she shushes me until it's over. This song does me no favors to keeping myself collected for another two days.

The instrumental starts to fade and mix with pieces of MGMT's Electric Feel. I'm starting to feel that this is a musical message that she's ready to take the next step in our relationship. As the song continues, the sounds of Lykke Li's Little Bit start to play like a response to MGMT's words. There was a definite theme playing with the music choices. I look up to Santana and see her smirking and eyeing me in the most seductive way.

God… damn. All I could think about was that one night. Her hands, her lips, her… anyway. I got her point. I quirk an eyebrow at her and decide that if she wants to play this game, I could play as well. My foot slid gently up her calf as I coyly reach for my drink and toss her a sexy grin before sipping from my straw.

Santana licked her lips and sighed. "You are such a tease, Fabray,"

"All in due time Lopez. All in due time," I add as the soulful croons of Miguel start to blend in. "By the way, this mix is amazing,"

"You don't say," she folds her arms over her chest and I laugh.

"You're so full of it," I add and now it's her turn to laugh.

"Well, I may have had a certain theme in mind," she comments as the server brings our lunch over.

_Would you believe me if I say I'm in love. Baby… I want you…_

This feeling between my legs just soar as the mix continues. I quickly took the headphones out and hand them to Santana before I could finish it.

"Obviously, now who's the tease?" I counter as she chuckles with the headphones in her hands.

"Couldn't even finish it, huh?" she joked as she wrapped the headphones back around the ipod.

"You're evil," I add as she places the iPod in her pocket.

"I'm Snixx, what can I say?" she adds. "But when is due time, exactly?"

"It'll be soon enough, you'll see babe," I say with a purposefully added husk to my voice. It didn't go past Santana unnoticed. I see her eyes darken. She wets her lips before pursing them.

Maybe waiting was the best choice. The anticipation is going to make this incredible.

_Would you believe me if I say I'm in love? Baby… I want you… To want me._

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**A/N pt. 2:**

**Sorry for the long wait again! Still a bit shorter than I was hoping. But I figured this was a good chapter to show where I may be going now with this once I wrap up more of Santana's storyline. Hope you guys enjoyed it, as always, I had a blast writing it.**

Tracklisting for the mix:

Under the Kicks (Alcala Remix) Foster the People vs. Ellie Goulding (can be found on youtube)

Electric Feel – MGMT

Little Bit – Lykke Li

Lights (bassnectar remix) – Ellie Goulding

Power Trip - J. Cole ft. Miguel

**Thanks for reading!**

**-Amanda**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Hello Everyone! As always, I have to thank everyone for reading, following, favoriting and reviewing this fic. It truly means a lot to me. As long as people are still enjoying and finding entertainment from my writing then that's all I can ask for. Keep reviewing and everything! It really drives me to write more for everyone. **

**I hope everyone enjoyed the Quinn chapter. I've hit the end of the original story I had planned for Santana, so I would like to bring in Quinn's POV to further along the plot. Your guys' feedback means a lot so don't hesitate to share your thoughts! **

**Anyway, here's the new chapter. Enjoy!**

**-Amanda**

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Chapter 13

Sitting in the lobby of Roc-a-Fella studios, my records, equipment and laptop on the seat next to me, I waited impatiently for J. Cole's manager to call me in. I was the last of the three DJs to audition. The first was this independent radio DJ who's been creating waves on the mash-up scene on the internet. The second was Future the Prince. He's Drake's official touring DJ, but with Drake focusing on his album, apparently his DJ is still itching to tour. Realizing who my competition was seriously brought me back down to earth.

_**How's the wait?  
**_

It was Quinn. I told her I was the last to audition and had still another fifteen minutes until my audition.

_**Torturous! I just found out who my competition is too, my confidence may have fallen a little bit... :/**_

I put my phone away and turned up my iPod. Can't let my nerves get the best of me. Focus on the music and spinning my records. That's all that matters in this moment.

_**Don't psyche yourself out so quickly. That rep knew who the other DJs were and still felt you were worth listening to. You're amazing baby, don't let anyone's reputation or anything make you think differently :]**_

That woman always knows exactly what I need to hear. Smiling to myself, I closed my phone and put it away after texting her a thank you. I am Santana Fucking Lopez. When I enter a room, heads turn and conversations pause. This was no different. Kori was known for having a rotating roster of talent, until I started spinning for her. I was the first house musician she wanted. I've had countless people offer to pay me for parties and celebrations, events and gatherings. I am Santana Fucking Lopez.

Just then J. Cole's manager walked out of an elevator and started walking toward me. "Santana Lopez?"

"That's me, it's a pleasure to meet you," I respond sticking my hand out for a hand shake.

He accepts and nods. "Please follow me, how's your day so far?"

"My day's been good, a little anxious, but I'm good. And yours? Some good auditions so far?" I counter.

He chuckles, "Some good ones, nothing's really stuck though." We exited the elevator and turned immediately to the right. "Just go on into the booth and set up. Don't be nervous, Jay's actually really excited to hear you,"

"J. Cole?"

A smirk creeps up on his face and he just turns back to me and says "Jay-Z. You think he lets just anyone use his studio for auditions?"

And suddenly my stomach jumped into my throat and all moisture escaped my mouth. "J-Jay-Z is here?"

"Yeah, he actually tipped off the rep to go check out your club. Just relax and have fun with it. You don't have a time limit, but if we stop you early then you should be able to gauge your performance,"

He closed the door behind me and a table was in front of me. Across the table was the glass separating the booth from the board, and there sat J. Cole, his manager, and Jay-Z. Jay and Cole were talking about something and enjoying a cigar, and it suddenly hit me how incredible this audition could be for me. There was my dream. It was sitting across the glass sipping on fine whiskey and enjoying the richest Cubans. My focus and ambition took over and I quickly finished setting up.

The manager pressed a button and spoke from the board. "Can you introduce yourself?"

I rested my headphones around my neck and looked up to all of them, "I'm Santana Lopez, aka DJ Slaptonez. And I'm here to spin a few tracks for you gentlemen,"

"Oooh, a proper young lady. This is already interesting," J. Cole joked.

"You're that DJ from Le Poisson Rouge, right?" Jay-Z said after exhaling a puff of smoke.

"That would be me," I said with a smirk.

"I've heard some good things about you, go ahead whenever your ready baby girl," he said as he placed the cigar to his lips.

I nodded and decided instead of starting with my original music planned, to take it old school and pure hip hop. I started with AC/DC's Back in Black with some minor scratches and extra drums. I blended it shortly with The Doors and then leading into Jay-Z's Takeover. Something about the ambiance told me to go straight old school. Subtly I faded in Notorious B.I.G.'s Hypnotize. I briefly looked up as I let the tracks play and saw all eyes on me, every now and then Jay-Z or J. Cole nudging the other and saying something. I found a groove and started to mix classic hip hop tracks with the samples they borrowed from. Once I started moving with the music I could see Jay bobbing his head along with my mix. A broad smile crept upon my face and I decided to bring something a little bit more left field into the mix.

A guitar lick on loop and I started playing Brand Nubian's Slow Down to the original track Edie Brickell and the New Bohemians' What I Am. The original hook synced perfectly to the hip hop track. J. Cole's expression was ecstatic. He had a broad smile across his face and was clearly enjoying the music. I started to mix in Dr. Dre's Nuthin' But A G Thang with a fade in from the original Leon Haywood track. As they grooved to the mix, I started to chop and screw it a bit. Flexing my scratching muscles, I would time the record perfectly to where I would pull snippets of the track with each scratch until I made the perfect transition into Kendrick Lamar's Swimming Pools.

It was time I showed them I can easily get a party from buzzing to heated and ready to party. As the song started to take off, I separated the vocal and with some scratching and crossfading brought in a dubstep track to help transition to Power Trip. As the mix came back full circle, I realized I had been spinning for at least 40 minutes already without being stopped. I brought the mix down and finished it. As I removed my headphones and looked up J. Cole was shaking his manager's hand and Jay-Z was beaming.

"That was really tight, that was hot," J. Cole said into the intercom.

"Glad you guys seemed to like it," I added.

"So where did you come from? You're a bit of the new kid on the block, ya know?" J. Cole asked.

"Well, originally I'm from Lima, Ohio. I'm enrolled at CCNY for music production, and I just kind of fell into DJing shortly after I started school,"

"How old are you?" his manager asked as he took down some notes.

"I'm 24. Graduating this semester," I answered.

"Boyfriend?" J. Cole asked with a humorous smile.

"Girlfriend actually," I said proudly as a grin spread across my lips.

"Oooh, I like her. She could be my wing man on the road," he commented sitting back in his chair.

"This tour requires one month on the road, do you have anything that would be an obstacle of that?" the manager asked.

"I mean, I'll be done with school in a few weeks, I don't think it'd be something that would cause me too much of an issue,"

He nodded. Jay-Z jumped on the intercom when he saw that all of the manager's questions were answered. "I just want to say, that was a really great set. If this audition doesn't work out, don't be heart broken because you're on my radar now girl. We'll be in touch, thank you for your time,"

I felt my throat tighten up and a squeal of excitement nearly escape. Taking a deep breath I finally responded, "Thank you all so much. If anything this was an incredible experience and opportunity. Thank you again,"

I quickly packed everything up and made my way out of the studio. That was unreal. The whole experience, Jay-Z. I'm on his radar? Holy shit! At the moment I couldn't fathom what any of it meant. I didn't have time to really digest the situation though. From what I saw, only good things can come from that audition. They obviously liked it, Jay-Z told me not to worry. But again, I couldn't digest it all yet because the gears were about to change extremely quickly. Chloe's vigil was tonight. Unfortunately the audition and vigil happened to fall on the same day. Which would be just my luck, but anyway. All I had time to do really was go home, change into something a bit more appropriate and finally say goodbye to one chapter of my life.

Once I arrived home, Puck was ironing his shirt already showered and near ready to go. "How was the audition, babe?"

"ReallygoodbutIgottagetchangedrightnow!" I shouted quickly as I set my bag down and raced off to my room. Luckily I had set my dress out and done my hair this morning. All I really needed to do was change and touch up my make up. Before heading off to the vigil at 6:30, I needed to finally visit Chloe.

After I finished getting ready, I appeared from my room and grabbed a granola bar. I hadn't eaten much since just before my audition three hours prior and my nerves were keeping me on edge.

"How are you doing over there twitchy?" Puck said as he started to button up his dress shirt.

"Fine." I said simply.

Puck sighed and walked over to me, "Cut the crap, Lopez. Be straight with me."

I swallowed the bite before answering, "I'm nervous obviously. But I know this is something that needs to happen. I'll never be able to get over this without finally closing that door."

Puck nodded and then started on his tie, "It's going to be okay. Hell, maybe after this you'll finally get laid!" and there was the Noah Puckerman that I've known for so long.

"God, do you always have to be so crude?" I said slapping his arm.

"Made ya smile right babe?" he replied with a wink as he finished with his tie and grabbed his shoes.

I smiled at him. I took his free hand in mine and squeezed lightly. "Thanks again Puck. You're an amazing friend,"

"Don't go telling people that. I can't let the ladies catch on. Then I'll never get laid,"

* * *

**Quinn's POV**

Staring at my computer screen, trying my hardest to decide which picture was going to be the focus of a huge roadside billboard campaign across the country, I couldn't think of anything but how Santana was doing today.

_**Hey babe! Audition was incredible! Can't say more though, on my way to get ready for the vigil. I'll text you later tonight.**_

_**-Santana**_

That was two hours ago, it was now 5:30 and I knew she was already on her way to Chloe's grave site.

_Stop working yourself up and just focus on your job, Quinn. There is nothing you can do at this moment. Just let it go and stop worrying. _

It was like I had to constantly remind yourself that this was not my business to worry about. This was all about Santana and her past. It was beyond my control. And yet all I could think about was if Santana was incredibly nervous and freaking out, or perfectly okay. I needed to know her current status emotionally and mentally, and until then I was just going to worry. My real problem was realizing that this had nothing to do with me. I was psyching myself out.

_What if Santana isn't ready to let go?_

_What if she can't move on yet?_

Was it because I wasn't worth it? No. I'm Quinn Fabray, brilliant, beautiful, and self-assured. I worked hard to get to where I am and that doesn't change regardless of how Santana feels about me. My phone buzzed against the desk.

_**We just got to the cemetery. I'll text you when we're done. **_

_**-Santana**_

I sighed. I couldn't keep letting myself over think everything. It would do nothing but misconstrue the current situation. And the current situation is that Santana is saying goodbye to her past. She's letting it go, but never forgetting it. She is choosing happiness over a memory.

_**I'm here for you whenever baby. Just let me know what I can do. **_

_**-Quinn**_

* * *

**Santana's POV**

Puck and I walked up the path side by side. As we got closer, he grabbed my hand and squeezed. I should have been nervous, shaking, emotionally overwhelmed. Instead, I was calm. For the first time in a really long time, I wasn't fearful of Chloe. I wasn't afraid of facing her anymore. I wasn't afraid of what she makes me feel. We veered off the path and walked a few rows deep and then took a right a few spots.

Looking beneath my feet was her marker. Chloe Ann Smith. 1994-2014. I quickly exhaled and took in another deep breath as I stepped back. Suddenly everything grew heavy. Puck grabbed my hand as if to steady me, but I smiled at him to say I was okay.

"Can I have a minute actually?" I asked. He nodded and walked away. I knelt down beside her and sat in silence for a moment. "I'm sorry it took me so long to visit. I think I . . . got lost for a while after you left." I could feel the emotions welling inside of me. Slowly making their way to my lungs. "It was really hard when you left. How you left." I could feel my breath quickening and becoming more shallow. "I was angry for a while. At the doctor. At your dad. At the school because you've always been so worried about your grades even though you were easily in the top 5% of our class." I let my hands grab the grass in front of me, squeezing the blades between my fists. "I never told anyone, but I was angry at you too. I used to think that if you really cared about any of us, you would have known how much this would have hurt." Taking another breath, I hold off the tears that are threatening to fall. "But then I remembered that you weren't entirely there. That you were overcome with everything else going on, your depression and just life that... I mean to say, I'm okay with all of it now."

"I'm not angry anymore. I've made peace with this, with us. I hope wherever it is that you are, you're happy and safe. Most of all, I hope that you're not hurting or suffering anymore. Because you were always better than that. You've always been better than anything here. But you have to know, or I have to say, I love you. Part of me always will, but you wouldn't want me to hold on to that forever. It may be a while until I come visit again. You taught me how to really live, so it's time I start to use what I learned. Goodbye Chloe, I'll never forget you."

Taking a deep breath, I put my fingertips to my lips and kissed. I pressed my fingertips to her marker and rose from my spot beside her. A weight lifted from my body that I never realized was there. I was ready to move forward. Puck must have noticed that I was standing because he was already making his way toward me by the time my eyes fell on him.

"How are you?" he asked.

"I'm good. I'm ready to go whenever you are," I said. He nodded and asked for a brief moment.

He bowed his head and I saw his lips moving quickly with his eyes closed. Never had I pegged Puck for the religious type, but he was always boasting about how he was a sexy Jew. He then reached into his pocket and left a pebble on her marker. Looking closely, I noticed there were now three. He took one last look and then headed towards me with a smile.

"What was the pebble about?" I asked as we made our way back to the entrance.

"It's a Jewish tradition. Some things you just can't shake off, ya know?" he said.

I smiled as we crossed through the gate. It finally felt like a new beginning. I looked down to my phone and saw Quinn's text and sighed. Not out of distress, relief. At the end of the day she was there for me.

_**Visiting went really well. Now here comes the hard part. I can't wait to tell you all about it.**_

_**-Santana**_

Puck and I rode in the cab over to the school where the vigil was being held. I was silent the whole time, save for assuring Puck that I really was all right. I dragged this out for far too long and it was time to face everyone. If there was anyone that I really missed from that period, it was Rebecca. She was my best friend while Chloe and I were together. She was there when we first met, and she tried her hardest to be there for me when she passed away.

We pulled up to the school and I jumped out of the cab first. Puck handed my purse to me while I stood and stared at the school in front of me. Now my nerves were fluttering. Now it felt like a thousand butterflies were flapping their wings inside my stomach. Taking in a deep breath for what felt like the 10,000th time, Puck and I made our way up to the building.

It was almost like a museum exhibit. Chloe's art was up for display everywhere. By her sophomore year of college she was already getting offers from professors and board members for her art. She was going to be big. She had a talent that everyone noticed. I separated from Puck as I started to walk through each display, a small smile playing on my lips at each piece.

Just as I was going to continue to the next display I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around it was Erin, Chloe's sister.

"I'm glad you were able to make it," she said softly.

I pulled her into a hug. "I'm sorry I couldn't be here before."

"Water under the bridge now. All that matters is now, and it really means a lot that you're here," she said as she looked around at everyone. "You should know she was really happy with you,"

"I'm sorry?" I asked, not sure what she meant.

"Chloe, whenever she was with you, or even just talking about you, she was at her happiest," Erin said with a smile. It was the same smile that Chloe had.

"That means a lot. Thank you," I said as I started to scan the crowd. My eyes landed on Rebecca. She must have been searching too, because she immediately spotted me. "Will you excuse me for a second?"

Erin nodded as I turned to head towards Rebecca. I didn't have to walk too far because Rebecca was walking towards me too. Before I could even get a word in she had enveloped me in a huge hug. "Are there pigs flying right now because this can't be real," she said and I laughed.

"It's real Becca. I'm here," I replied as she pulled away from me. Her hair has gotten longer and her features have matured more. Aside from that, she still was the same old Rebecca.

"How've you been?" she asked sincerely.

"That's a question that will require a lot of time to explain. But in short, I'm good now. Things were rough for a while, but I'm okay. Great even," I answered. "What have you been up to, actually?"

"I've started my own pop culture blog actually. I guess pop culture, it's more just random fandoms and things I like. But I've gotten several advertisers invested so I'm actually making some money off it. Enough to get noticed for a book," she said trying not to grow too excited. But I knew Rebecca, she was ecstatic over this.

"You'll have to gush about it to me once this is all over, because that's fucking awesome," I said with a smile.

As time went by, I spotted a lot of my old friends. A few of them couldn't make it due to living out of state and everything now. The ones I spotted were friendly, but I could see they weren't too interested in rebuilding friendships. They've already put the past to bed, they wished me all the best in life and if I were around to seek them out. But that chapter was closed already. There weren't any hard feelings held against one another, everyone understood what happened. But we've all grown up now and started our lives, we couldn't keep returning to the past.

"Good Evening everyone," Erin spoke into the microphone from the podium on stage. "First, I would like to thank you all for coming out tonight. It really means a lot to me and my dad. As you can see, there are a few pieces out that are for sale, all proceeds go to a non-profit organization to help keep art programs in schools. But aside from money rambles and such, we'd like to say a few words about the young woman behind all the art."

Erin started off the speeches followed by her father, some of her neighbors, previous classmates, some friends of ours, and then I was last. Rebecca and Puck both squeezed my hands before I made my way up to the podium.

"A lot of what I wanted to say was already said, ya'll stole the words right out of my paper I swear," I joked and the crowd didn't mind it. "Chloe was, an incredible artist, friend and partner. She taught me a lot of things about life and people that I never would have realized without her. I'll try and keep this short and sweet. She was incredible and brought out the best in me when I was full of nothing but doubt. She helped me to discover my true passion. Without her I wouldn't be the person I am today. We were all incredibly lucky to have her around. And I can't ask for anything more," I sighed and smiled. "Thank you,"

I walked off the podium and back into the crowd. I didn't stay too long after. Rebecca and I exchanged numbers and promised to grab drinks or something some time. But after all my fussing, visiting Chloe, her vigil, there wasn't a thing to be worried about. And now all I could think about was the future, and whatever was ahead for me. Starting with of course, the gorgeous blonde woman I couldn't wait to hold in my arms.

* * *

**A/N pt. 2:**

**Thanks for reading everyone! That's probably the end of the first arc of this fanfic I wanted to write. Hope it met everyone's expectations. The next will feature more Quinn and a focus on Quinntana of course. Feel free to let me know what you thought and review! They're a real motivator in writing :]**

**-Amanda**

**P.S. just realized I can upload and write from my apartment clubhouse. Hopefully I'll be able get more lengthy quality chapters out to you guys from now on :]**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: In light of recent events, I want to extend my condolences to the Glee fandom. I haven't been a big Finn fan since season 2 maybe, but what has happened is tragic and heartbreaking. He was a crucial part of Glee and it's really hard to imagine what Glee will look like without him. My thoughts are with the Glee cast, crew and fans, anyone who's been inspired by Cory Monteith and Finn Hudson. **

**On a lighter note, so we've come to the conclusion of the main Santana arc of this fanfic, so I'm going to start bringing Quinn more into the story. Hope everyone's interested in her story as everyone was in Santana's.**

**I would like to do some shout outs. Thank you to shiznat1234, shananigan, momo0424, Harley Quin Davidson, FabraQS, IzaGleek, OTHangels, Dixie84, joy rolo, quinntana4evah, piecesofyourheart, mb168, CrazyRedHairedChick333, hphglover, vmwg, Me1313, betty, EmoChildP, dmpanda5, SOS9494, Quinntana2, rauby, Q. San's Girl, Prettygleekbitch, DarkDesires16, SenDo, helysep1, sammysamsam, falconsoftball19, dayabieberxo, Lookin for the truth, caligurl18, all4you18-iny18, jhoiMadz, boringsiot, lollllla, lezluv, supergleefan, and Eraygoza. Also a thank you to all of the guests and anons who've read and reviewed. And lastly to my wonderful girlfriend (in spite of your ridiculous review). I love you guys, you're the best and thanks for following. Keep reviewing, it truly means a lot and it's greatly appreciated. **

**-Amanda**

**Quinn's POV**

My pen was tightly held between my teeth as I furiously typed away an email to an accountant who was accusing me and my ad campaign of being over-budget. I double, triple, quadruple checked all of the numbers, and there was no way of that being a possibility. As I finished the email and clicked send, I stared at my computer screen wondering to myself _how much do I actually enjoy this job?_ Initially I chose advertising and marketing because I thought it would be an excuse to take pictures and a practical way of pursuing photography.

And then it turned out I was really good at compiling target audience data, understanding the way the minds of the masses worked. During my internship, I had various marketing heads keeping their eyes on me. I was the one to watch. The further and further I succeeded, the further and further I drifted away from my true love of photography. I've been in this position for only a couple months, and already I could feel the toll it was taking on me.

Throughout college I fought to break free of the person I was in high school. Trying to constantly please everyone, being that perfect blonde bombshell. I realized I always loved having a camera on me. Whether it was my phone, a little disposable, or my beautiful Nikon that I bought with my first check from my first real job. And yet here I was, feeling like I was back there all over again.

Dialing the extension to the front desk, I hear Julie pick up the line. "Hello Ms. Fabray, what can I do for you?"

"Can you reschedule all my meetings and put all my phone calls to voicemail? I'm taking the rest of the day off."

"Not a problem. I'll get right on that Ms. Fabray,"

"Thank you Julie, you're the best," I replied as I grabbed my purse, my Nikon from my desk before leaving the office.

As soon as I walked outside the building it was as if I could finally take in a full breath. I could feel the outside air making it's way to my lungs and rejuvenating my whole sense of being. There was only one person I could think of that I wanted to see.

Holding my phone to my ear, I waited to hear her voice on the other side.

"Hey gorgeous, are you on your lunch?" she asks and I can hear the smile in her voice.

"I'm actually taking the rest of the day off. Want to meet me at the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens?" I ask before ever actually thinking about it. I don't know why that was the first place to leave my mouth. But all I know is that I needed to be some place beautiful.

"That's a pretty random destination, any particular reason why?"

"I just want to be around pretty things, including you," I said sweetly.

She chuckled on the other line before answering, "Aren't you quite the smooth-talker, is there anything I should bring, Fabray?"

"Mmmm, just you. Maybe some coffee?"

"This better be worth it, Fabray," she joked at the request.

"I'll see you in about 45 minutes," I said before hanging up the phone.

**Santana's POV**

I sat on the subway with my headphones on and two coffees. Quinn has suddenly become spontaneous in her years after high school. And I love it. The days after the vigil weren't awkward at all. Later that night I went over to Quinn's to tell her about the day. She seemed relieved with how I was, genuinely happy that it was such a positive experience. I still haven't heard back on the audition yet. But hearing nothing doesn't mean bad news. And either way, I got to play for Jay-Z. That boosts my ego enough.

The subway came to a stop and I noticed I was at my destination. Standing in front of the entrance, I pulled out my phone to call Quinn. "Hey, are you already inside?"

"Yeah, I'm over by the cherry blossoms!" she replied.

"Okay, I'll come meet you, see you in a few minutes," I hung up the phone and headed in the direction of where I thought Quinn was.

It didn't take me long to find her. Quinn stood on top of a rock, her camera pointed upward toward the cherry blossoms. I could see one of her eyes closed while the other looked closely through the lens. She then clicked the button on the top and I heard the lens and shutter click of the camera. My gosh, she was beautiful. She was in her element here. Her expression was so full of wonder and curiosity. She had the most adorable expression as she flipped through the images of what she had captured from earlier.

"Hey Q," I said softly just so that she would hear me.

Her head bolted up from her camera and the brightest smile stretched across her features. "Hey,"

"Well I've got coffee. It's iced since lukewarm coffee sucks," I said with a chuckle as she closed the few paces between us and kissed me.

"I love iced coffee. Thanks for meeting me here," she said as she pulled me down to the grass and we sat together.

"So what brings us here?" I asked as I sipped my coffee.

Quinn's eyes narrowed on a spot across from us as she sipped her coffee. "I'm not so sure about my job,"

I leaned back on to my elbows and looked up at the cherry blossoms. "Have you always had these thoughts or are they something that's started recently?"

"I guess somewhat recently. Well not exactly . . . I don't know to be honest. I guess I've kind of always had them," she said as she put her camera down and lied down beside me.

She sighed and picked up her camera again, fiddling with some of the settings. "Obviously I'm just being ridiculous though. I've got a perfectly good job and potential career and am incredibly successful for someone my age. I should be grateful,"

I sat up and grabbed the camera from her hand. "Are you happy?"

"Am I happy? I mean, I'm-"

"Quinn, you don't have to settle for anything that doesn't make you happy. You're brilliant, you're talented, and incredibly strong. You can do whatever you want. Don't let anyone or anything tell you what should make you happy,"

"I always thought I had finally let go of my family's expectations, until I realized I was still living their life. I chose a field that I knew I could succeed in just because. I was never passionate about it."

"Now, I'm not saying go and quit you're job," I added as I saw the turn this conversation had taken.

"Oh no, I'm not going to do that. But I think I have some things to think about. Maybe try and pursue photography a little further. You know, I was only two classes away from double majoring in photography,"

"Now how the hell did you pull that off? The two have nothing to do with the other," I feigned disbelief. Because truly, Quinn could do anything. Whatever she wanted she always found a way to get it.

"I always took summer courses, and 20 credit semesters for four years. I was a busy college student," she said with a sheepish grin.

"You're insane, Quinn Fabray. Truly insane," I stood up and stretched my arms over my head. "I think that's why I'm so attracted to you,"

"Am I supposed to be flattered? You just called me insane," Quinn said with a smirk.

I grabbed her hands and pulled her up to her feet. "Yeah, and look at you now? Incredibly successful and able to comfortably pursue your passions without the worry of your income. Insanity pays off,"

She leaned forward and kissed me. And it was like there was nothing else beyond our lips and their connection. She wrapped her arms around my neck deepened the kiss. I couldn't tell you how long we stood there, but she had me. I was lost in her and there was nowhere else I would have rather been. She broke the kiss and I realized it had started sprinkling. Looking above, I quickly noticed the sprinkle was turning into a shower. Quinn snapped a picture of us before she stuffed it away.

"We should get going," I said with a nervous chuckle. Quinn was all bright eyes and smiles as the rain began to soak her short blond locks.

"Is your place closer or mine?" she asked as she bit her lip.

_Was Puck home right now? Better not chance it..._

"I think yours," I replied as I grabbed her hand.

**Quinn's POV**

As soon as the door was closed and locked behind us all apprehensions were thrown out. Feverish kisses and wandering hands met as we found our way to my bed. Santana trailed kisses down from my lips to my jawline, down my neck and back up to just behind my ears. My breath hitched and back arched at the sensation that sent shivers down my spine. My hands found the back of her head, and my fingers dug into her thick dark hair as she continued to tease me with light open mouthed kisses.

Bringing her lips back to mine, I captured her bottom lip between my teeth, smiling as I released. She moaned at the sensation and her hands began to search for my bra strap. I quickly arched my back to help her un-clip it. I shrugged the straps off and pulled the bra out from under my shirt. I could feel her eyes darken at the motion. My eyes narrowed on her and my eyebrow quirked.

"You're turn," I said as I straddled her lap and began to un-clip her bra. Before I knew it, both of our shirts were off, quickly followed by the rest of our clothing. We found our way under the sheets, our lips meeting again as our hands began to touch and tease. My fingers reached lower and lower, until I felt her breath hitch against me as I caressed dangerously close to her center.

"I don't remember you being such a tease, Fabray," Santana moaned into my ear as I continued. I let one finger slip the outside of her lip and felt her breath hitch again.

"I've learned a couple things since that day," I replied as I lightly nibbled her ear.

It was like a switch; Santana flipped me on to my back and pressed her thigh into my center. The friction was unbelievable. She applied more pressure, and all I could do was toss my head back and grab on to my headboard.

"Jesus Christ San..." her lips found a pressure point on my neck and she began to lightly suck.

My hands found her chest and I began to massage her breasts. I reached up and began to straddle her lap again. I kissed up her neck to the spot below her ear and I felt her fingernails rake down my back. Santana then placed her hand over my center and applied light pressure. My god did her hand feel amazing. She pressed two fingers deeper and sent me reeling. Every nerve was on edge as Santana began to pick up a steady rhythm.

I pulled her closer, burying my face in her neck as she picked up her speed in my folds. Just when I thought it couldn't get better, Santana managed to find my one perfect spot, causing me to arch my back and dig my nails into her shoulder.

"Oh god, San I'm close," I whimpered as she quickened her pace. The sensation was torturous as she held me at my edge. Without breaking her rhythm, she inserted one digit deeper. After that it didn't take me very long until I buried my fist in my mouth as I hit my climax.

Santana slowed her pace as I came down, and an ecstatic grin spread across my face. I looked over to Santana and saw a satisfied smirk on her lips as she nestled in close to me. "How are you feeling, Q?"

I chuckled to myself as I began to relax into my bed, "That's a rhetorical question, right? Because that was fantastic,"

"Oh yeah?" she said with a fake tone of surprise.

"Don't think you've completely worn me out. I need to repay you for that amazing time," I whispered huskily. I turned on my side and felt Santana's arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my closer to her. "Now never did I think that Santana Lopez was into cuddling,"

She left soft kisses on my back before answering. "And it's a secret you'll be taking with you to the grave,"

Santana continued leaving trails of light kisses that lead nowhere all over my back until I couldn't take it anymore. I flipped over to where I was lying directly on top of Santana. Moving some hair out of her face, I brought my lips to hers in a full deep kiss. I adjusted my leg to where I could apply some light pressure and gauge just how prepared she was. And Jesus Christ was she ready for me. She arched slightly towards me at the friction of my leg against her core. There was definite satisfaction on my part, in knowing I could make her feel this way.

My hands roamed every inch of her, exploring every curve and area that seemed untouched. As I gained a rhythm with my leg, she grew more and more excited. The anticipation of being able to touch her was driving me crazy. I kissed down from her lips to her collar bone. Sucking and nibbling as I continued, my hand found its way from softly caressing her thighs, to slightly parting them further. My finger tip lightly grazed her folds, and Santana's breath hitched at the sensation.

I chuckled lowly in her ear, "Someone's eager."

"God Q, you have no idea," she whimpered into my neck as I continued to tease her.

One last graze of my finger tip, and I found my way into her folds, memorizing every inch of her center. As I began to settle on a satisfying technique, Santana's hips began to buck with each movement. I added an additional finger, causing her breath to quicken and her hips to move in closer tandem with my fingers.

I kissed down to her breasts as I kept up the rhythm. Using my free hand, I began to massage her breasts as I tongued her nipple, lightly sucking every now and then.

"Q, fu- I'm getting close baby," she whined into my hair as she grasped me closer to her.

I quickened my pace and massaged her more ferociously as I felt her body begin to tremble. Her hips bucked and rode against my hand aggressively as I tried my hardest to not break my rhythm. Santana's moans grew louder and louder until she could no longer make a noise. She held on to me as tightly as she could, and I slowly stopped my rhythm in her folds until she began to relax. A low chuckle erupted from her as I kissed her forehead and cheek.

"Did you have fun?" I asked, grabbing one of the pillows on the bed to hug.

She turned to me with an astonished expression. "That, was possibly some of the best sex I've ever had, to be honest,"

"What? No way." I said in disbelief.

"Believe it Fabray, that was incredible. I think one of the first times I actually laughed after an orgasm," she said as she snuggled even further into the bed sheets.

"Yeah, that's actually the first time I've gotten a girl to do that, so that's a good thing?" I asked in a timid voice.

"Good? That was fucking awesome! The laugh was out of disbelief over how amazing that was, and holy shit did that feel incredible," she leaned closer to me and softly kissed my lips. "The laugh is a good sign."

I pulled her in closer to me, loving the way we fit perfectly in an embrace. We lied together for the rest of the afternoon. Just relishing the feel of the other, the comfort and happiness that came with it. There are no letters in the alphabet that could spell out what this feeling is. Here we were, into the middle of the night eating Chinese take-out and watching Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. Believe it or not, Santana's choice.

"What can I say? I related to Harry's feelings of ostracism when I was kid," she said as we popped in the disc and each grabbed a carton of food.

And as I watched Santana grab a piece of her food with her chopsticks, I asked myself _have you always been here? Have I always been here? Because I still can't believe that both of our paths have come back to right here. _

"Are you watching me? Because you're missing Harry's bitch of an aunt swell up to hot air balloon status," Santana teased without tearing her eyes from the screen. I scooted closer to her and kissed her cheek. She turned to face me with a soft smile, "And that was for?"

"Just being you. I'm really happy to be right here with you," I said, hearing the smile drip from my words.

She kissed me before saying, "There isn't a place I'd rather be right now."

We snuggled closer and then turned back to the movie. _There's just no way this can be real._

**Santana's POV**

The next couple weeks were a bit of a blur. Quinn and I were inseparable. When neither of us were at work or school, we were at the others apartment. Sometimes I'd be working on the final touches for my final mix, when her signature knock raps my door and I jump from my chair and run to meet her. And it always begins the same.

"Hey," she'll say in her trademark husk.

"Hey," I'll repeat with a sweet rasp. I'll widen the door and she'll walk in. We'll hang out for a bit, maybe order some food or cook. And it's like as soon as we're fully nourished, we're fumbling around the apartment until we find my room.

There will be other times when I'm really tuned into my music, and then that's when Puck's never-ending collection of video games comes in. I once turned around for a break from the mix and saw Quinn completely zoned in on Mass Effect. "Well I'll be damned, Quinn Fabray is playing Mass Effect. And if I'm not mistaken, fem-Shep? Oooh, and you made her a lesbian for Liara. What would the folks back in Lima say?"

"Folks back in Lima can kiss my ass. I'm saving the fucking galaxy," she said lowly as her attention never broke from the screen.

But really, things couldn't be more perfect with Quinn. She's not as high maintenance as before, allowing me to do what I need to do. She's been keeping up with my sexual appetite, which is really impressive. Let's be honest. And she's always up for anything. We can go out for dinner and drinks, or we can stay in and just watch a movie. Sometimes we'll just decide on a whim to go somewhere, other times Quinn may surprise me with a fully thought out evening.

Sometimes it felt like I was waiting for the shit to hit the fan.

And just as I was leaving the studio lab on campus, a call from a number I couldn't recognize reached my phone. Usually I don't answer numbers that aren't saved in my phone, but I figured what's the worst that could happen.

"Santana Lopez speaking, may I ask who's calling?"I said in a somewhat stern voice.

"Santana, this is Derek Stanley the scout from the club?"

"Oh! Hello! How can I help you?" I said quickly adjusting my tone.

"Well I've got some news. Can you meet me somewhere for a drink?"

"It's two in the afternoon," I said seriously.

"And it's happy hour somewhere!" he tells me a sports bar somewhat close to the studio the audition was at. "I'll see you in about 35 minutes,"

When I arrived at 4th Down Sports Bar, I took a deep breath and entered, grabbing a seat at the bar. The bartender looked pleasantly surprised at my presence and quickly took my drink order. Shortly after he brought me my vodka red bull, Derek walked in and spotted me immediately. Sitting beside me all he said was the usual and then turned to me.

"So Santana, how've you been? It's been about two weeks since the audition," he said pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"Um, I'm good. I thought we can't smoke in doors anymore,"

He chuckled at me and tossed his head back. "I've known these guys since we were in the sandbox. I'm one of the owners. But I didn't just ask you out because you're beautiful, the audition is what we're here for,"

"Umm, yeah... So did they make a decision?"

"That they did. They went with Drake's DJ,"

_Oh, well. Not a big deal. It was a long shot. _ "That makes sense, they've got similar styles and stuff. I really appreciate the chance to audition though,"

"Hold on girl, not done yet," he said sipping on his scotch. "Mr. Sean Carter would like you to spin at The 40/40 club Saturday night. He says you show a lot of promise," My jaw must have dropped to the ground, because when Derek turned back to me he laughed. "Oh don't be so surprised. You killed that audition."

I took a big drink from my vodka red bull before answering, "Is he sure? Holy shit!" and I quickly fell silent again.

"So does that mean you'll take it? Of course it's a paid gig. You get two sets, $150 per set plus all your own tips."

"Of course I'll take it! Sorry just, holy shit, Jay-Z really likes my stuff?" I said stuck in my disbelief.

"You impressed him, that's for sure. Your first set starts at 10pm. So be there by 9pm so we can get you checked in and everything. You get an hour between your sets, so don't wander too far or have too much fun," Derek slides a card over to me. "Call this number with the names of your friends you may want there. I'll make sure they get on the VIP list,"

As soon as we finished our drinks, I asked him for one of his Nat Sherman cigarettes and sat on the bench outside the bar, enjoying the smoke that filled my lungs. I stared into nothing as I kept inhaling the cigarette. Maybe I was just trying to let the last 30 minutes sink in. _Jay-Z wants me to play at his nightclub. Jay-Z specifically wants me to play two sets at the 40/40. _

I took one last inhale from the cigarette, and carelessly exhaled as I tossed the butt of it into the street. A familiar knowing smirk crept on my features. _Of-fucking-course he wants me to play at his club. I'm Santana Lopez, the hottest, baddest bitch who's walked these streets. _I walked a couple blocks and then hopped on the subway, an incredible ego boost settling in. For the first time in about four years, I felt like my normal self. The confidence and self-assuredness was invigorating. The subway ride was only ten minutes, and by the time I was off I was already on the phone with Quinn.

"Hello?" she said.

"Guess which drop dead gorgeous up and coming DJ Mr. Sean Carter himself is asking to play his signature club," I posed with my voice laid thick.

"Hmmm, is there a chance she works at Le Poisson? Long dark hair and the fullest lips I've ever seen?" she asked in a mock-unsure tone.

"I'm telling you, you're the true smooth talker between the two of us," I replied with a smirk on my face.

"Uh, no sweetie. That would be you, The inflection of your speech, the sultry voice, the light flirtation at the end of your phrases. I do believe you make smooth talking an artful," she responded.

"Now that's some smooth bullshit if I've ever heard any," I teased and I heard her laugh. She could pull any line with me and she'd have me hooked. She was just that hypnotizing.

"Yeah, that was pretty rich, huh?" she added with a chuckle. "Anyway, wait what? Are you saying you're playing a set at Jay-Z's nightclub?"

I told her about the drink with Derek, which really didn't take long because it was a quick drink just to extend the news. It was nice to have this again. Someone special that you just cannot wait to share things with. I've found also that she's the easiest person to talk to. Whatever it is I share with her, she's honest and always offers an interesting insight. She's supportive and kind. I don't know what it was I did to deserve her. I haven't been the kindest and most generous person in my past, but I'm not a terrible person either.


End file.
